Saturday, December 02, 2006




MIDNIGHT BLUES

reliazation has finally dawned upon me...samik will eventually go away....he has secured a very lucrative job offer in chennai...
all these days i was in denial...refusing to believe that he would leave some day...but today that illusion broke and was shattered into thousands of pieces.....
we both are together for the past 2 years or so...and during this time we have both evolved...seeing life in all its glory we have learnt how to love again and survive the many hurdles that had come our way...our relationship has blossomed through good and turbulent times...it has withstood tyrannies of fate and conspiracies of mankind...and now when we are in the threshold of a new phase in life,a new challenge has come up-to live without one another......
we may have braved through so many hardships,yet,we havent managed to master the art of staying apart....i smile through my tears,mask my unhappiness behind an always cheerful face..how can i show him,how much just the thought of separation is causing me?...it would weaken his resolve...its not a matter of days or weeks but 3 long and painful years of separation.regular telephone conversation would become weekly calls;frequent meetings would be replaced by meeting once a year,for a few odd days...terrible!terrible!....its like a nightmare that seems to have no end....when my friends would bask in the glory of love and would share a close companionship with their special one...i would yearn for the person i love...who would be soo many miles away and far out of reach....
thoughts such as these depresses and boggs me down..i am amazed at how soon i have gotten attached to samik that now life without him seems indespensable to me....when there is no way out and gloom sets in i just remember what my best friend,shubho once said..."tough times dont last but tough people do".i know if ever i am to falter,i have friends like shubho,rohit n nimisha to fall back on...but samik...who will he hav to comfort him in an alien city?no one but mayb my thoughts,i am much better of that way i am,i realise;atleast i have my friends....thus i comfort and give solace to myself...ending on a positive note i just hope against hope that samik gets a better offer here,in the city so that we donot have to go through the trials of separation.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

cushions you have....so don't be afraid of falling.for the rest,the almighty take control.

Anonymous said...

hey i didnt knw this emotional side of a very practical person.It felt like as if i'm stil in d process of knowing u.