Sunday, December 31, 2006


This Year,That Was


Its that time of the year again…. the year is coming to and end…its time to make those year end resolutions and recalling the past year…and here I go….
It’s really strange to think back to this day last year… Samik had gone off to training in Puna…. I was slogging day in and day out for my selections…. selections came by and went…. Then came the testing time ISC 2006…man! What a tension…. Still the late night chats continued…. Several sleepless nights and skipped meals later came the day when exams came to an end…phew! with results came a whole new confidence…and it was one happy moment for me…finally tide had turned and was in my favor ….. I was no longer a school girl…free as a bird…I could do just anything I wished…go anywhere I liked…sleep endlessly…well do you think I did that??? Hell no! After just two days I was bored…. then came the tension of picking up forms of colleges…applying for various colleges…submitting, mark sheets…. getting them attested…running from pillar to post for admission…the disappointment…shattering of a long standing dream of getting into ST.Xaviers and studying mass communication…then a miracle took place…. I got through in one of the best institutions of the country Jadavpur University…I must mention here…that when I sat for my comparative literature admission test, I hadn’t even bothered to attend the orientation class or even go through the question papers of last years…had my mom not pestered me to give yet another exam I probably given a slip and end up no where…but by gods grace I gave the exam and got through…..
Getting into JU was a huge step…loads of freedom…. new friends…new lifestyle…new people…and a ‘wonderful’ world of adulthood…. Running around getting ID and library cards done…. finding notes…asking seniors for help regarding studies…attending class religiously…the sudden plan to go for a movie and the trek to the movie hall…. those sessions in jheel par…whether cracking pj’s or lamenting over grave issues…life at ju kept me busy and happily so…
Then the day when I went to meet Samik’s parents for the first time…the fear clawing at me…then the relief washing over me after getting a warm reception from his family…meeting Mohor…picking her up. Her falling asleep on me and making me feel so welcomed that she trusted me enough to do so…clicking pictures and aunty cutting her cake…all was a wonderful experience…
My birthday is one of the most significant days of this year…not only did I turn 19 but everyone remembered and made it one happy occasion for me…never been quite this happy on my birthday before…my birthday has always been kind of gloomy and immensely unhappy…but this year…sms’s flowed in from people I didn’t even knew cared that much…scraps…cards…wishes…I was a real happy girl that day…almost everyone remembered that day, including my favorite professor…what more could I ask….
Giving internals was one tough thing…mugging Devi Sukta…slogging over Puran…. and then eagerly waiting for the marks…exhilaration of scoring a decent score…animated talks about orkutting and the acquisition of more number of scraps…’who said what in what community’….despite the internals life was fun and extremely wonderful until the fight between my parents and me broke out….possibility of leaving home made me realize the reality of life with much clarity… I had learned one valuable lesson… to survive, one must struggle and establish his/her own winnings and not depend upon heirlooms or inheritance…
Just thinking of owning my individual bank account and voters id card…fills me up with pleasure of knowing that somewhere I have initiated the process of establishing myself…. first week of every month. Taking out the money from the piggy bank and counting and then depositing it in the bank… or getting the salary from the tution I have been giving …. Filled me with calm knowing that slowly but steadily I am being independent… those walks and puchka sessions with dada…hijacking his computer to blog or orkut…. will remain engraved in my memory..
With pujas came added fun…going out with friends… permission to stay late out at night … anjali, lighting, pandal-hopping and enjoying pujo at Maddox, meeting up with friends.hogging on delicacies if every kind…. was an experience of its kind…and then came Rohits proposal and encouragement when I expressed my rusted skills pf writing blogs …. From then started my brush with blogging…earlier it was once a week and now every other day…made quite a few friend here… Pranaadhika, Trina, Michelle, Moonie, Kavya and others…. its a network of its kind…. Blogging had being really therapeutic… what more! I’ve started writing again and specially with the encouragement of Rohit and most I’m now writing non rhymic poetry which I could swear before I couldn’t write…
My days of living in a bubble were not stated to be…. Soon the true faces behind masks of friends came out and I was disillusioned by the word ‘friendship’ but then with the help of some amazing friends I recovered yet again, thinking the one friendship I valued the most was intact so I had no worries for any other person…but I was wrong…least did I expect my best pal [no longer so] turned out to be the major reason behind all my unhappiness and troubles….and this too was intentional and pre-planned…I have defended him and stuck up for him which cost me quite a few friendships…huh! Its been really heartbreaking and my year ending probably couldn’t get better…I don’t think I have it in me to move on but then I know I cannot run, I have to face it… most comforting thing is I have two such people I can proclaim as friends, who are going be there for me… Found some great comfort from people I least expected:, Dada, Dipyaman, Aditya….

All in all it’s been quite an amazing year…roller coaster ride…. A year full of ups and downs….Smiles and frowns…..may the new year bring happiness peace and prosperity to all ….and bring me the one thing that I desire so earnestly…happy new year everyone!


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

best of luckdar the new year will bring in lots of good wishes


(rohit kumar dasgupta)

Raka said...

thankx a lot rohit...wishing you a very happy new year too!and best of luck for the results

Dipyaman said...

Wish you And All others present here a very Happy New Year..And Raka..Ab to thora muskura do..All these gloomyness and depressive words doesn't sounds good..:-)
All D best for this year,2007 !!
God Bless you !! :-)

p.s.:- @ Raka..
Am i dat bad..?Dat my name went in that "Least Expected" group..