Thursday, December 14, 2006


RANDOM THOUGHTS

Yet another bandh....but a holiday is always welcome.specially since last six months have been really hectic....what with college,internals,teaching a pest and then semester exams...sigh!i hardly got time to be with me...to think..or to sort out certain issues that were playing in my mind for quite some time now....newspapers lie in a stack...CD's scattered here and there...and of late books have been piling on my nightstand....last night i made my self a routine for today....i thought of pampering myself by sleeping in late and not waking up as early as i usually do...and till now everything is going the way i had planned......i finished reading the newspapers...cleaned up my room...and now i am sitting near the window soaking up the afternoon sun i let my thoughts take flight....
the phone hasn't buzzed since the morning..for some that maybe of some relief but not for me....i was expecting a call....i kept checking my cell from time to time...nope not a call not even a missed call.....has he forgotten me??the thought comes to my mind but i dismiss it.we had a tiff last night.so he must have misunderstood me when i announced that i wanted to hang up so abruptly.but what could i do?i was getting hurt that he wasn't understanding me or my actions.he complains that i never reach out for anything but instead i turn to my friends for help...little did he realise that he is always occupied with his assignments,or his semester exams or his family problems,that i felt highly guilty to approach him for help.i have many a times but he has very politely turned me down...is it wrong for me to turn to my friends for help if he is not around to bail me out?
instead of talking things out he thought it would be better to teach me a lesson by backtracking fro accompanying me to my school play...something that i was looking forward to,knowing well how much going back to school meant to me....hurt and angry i don't know what is it that i should do now...what pains me more is his total ignorance of my suffering and leading a normal life wallowing in self pity...he has to relocate in all probability and this is affecting both him and me..but instead of taking it in his stride he chooses to indulge in it.who is going to make him understand that i am going through the very same agony and instead of sharing our troubles,strengthening each other with the bonds of love,he is using me as a punching bag.......
hope this one of the trials of time and goes by soon....and the sun comes our shining bright after a rainy day..

3 comments:

DEEPEST DESIRE's said...

Like all your note this one is simply fantastic . keep it up ..

Anonymous said...

hey there pal dont worry take heart things will just b fine...trust me....anu

Anonymous said...

hey there raka....i love ur optimism...hold on to it n u ll succeed in life...rahul