Tuesday, February 27, 2007

blissful thinking

its wee hours in the morning 5.15am to be precise...and i am still awake..couldn't sleep actually so i thought i might as well do those pending work done....with the loose ends tied and my work updated...i let the latest events sink in..and savour the lightheaded feeling of being high, when one has had too much to drink....not i am not drunk,just happy....blissfully happy

last few weeks has been really terrible...emotionally exhausting....life became life a never ending monotonous cycle,waking up,studying,college,Italian class,giving tuition's,blogging,brief chat with samik,conferencing in yahoo with college mates till late hours and then again waking up early...samik too got caught up with studies and work,and we both became to busy to even communicate our feelings somehow it made both of us kind of used to each other..but last two days were extremely eventful..what with my sudden emotional outburst of "breaking up" due to exhaustion...and the distinct possibility of living separate lives...humbled us and in some ways has been a reality check..the instant i realised that i may never see samik again in live..i felt loneliness and unhappiness grip me in its cold vice...thankfully that crisis is now over...the Storm came and went away,only restoring life once again....rainbow peeked from the heavens above...a new day has come....

its been two days after the fight and both samik and i have matured and taken a positive approach towards life.life has taken a new lease of life...and it has been blissfully perfect....somehow times have been reverted to those in the past..where gentlest of touch,twinkle in the eye or a hint of a smile spoke volumes that words cannot express....a depth of understanding and wealth of love has enriched the dying embers and rekindled the flame that was threatened to be engulfed by oblivion's curse

Sunday, February 25, 2007

promiscuity and adultery

Culture and ethics have undergone a sea change from the time these words were coined...people have refuted the social norms and indulged themselves in pleasures and luxuries...incest,promiscuity,adultery,gay ism and lesbianism have given way to bi sexuality,as being in "vogue"....and the trend gets revamped and becomes horribly grostesque...nothing seems stable anymore...relationships are becoming transient....one night stands and no-strings-attached affairs are in vogue....commitments are long since shelved....orgies and swingers have now gained popularity over marriages and "love-making" with the person you love or your spouse,its all about "sex" now....what is the world coming to?

Promiscuity is the practice of making relatively casual and indiscriminate choices. The term is most commonly applied to sexual behavior, where it refers to a person who does not limit their sex life to the cultural norm, typically one partner, or to the framework of a long term monogamous sexual relationship.

Adultery is extramarital, consensual sexual intercourse. Some legal jurisdictions define it more broadly to include varying levels of extramarital sexual relations

i wonder why people are being promiscuous?when we take a deeper look into couples married for 20-30 year..who seemed to be blissfully married and extremely in love...we find that even though they appear picture perfect...they have practiced promiscuity and adultery at some point or another,for whatever the reason maybe....doesn't the fact the emotional straying from your partner and finding solace in someone else also a part of this?does it always have to be a sexual intercourse with a person who is not your partner/spouse,a determining factor for promiscuity and adultery??why is there a recent hike in this trend when we are refuting the age old norm of getting married to a person and being loyal[emotionally and physically] to that person throughout our life?wwhether gay,lesbian straight or bi sexual,cant we stick to the person we choose to be with instead of cheating around?why isn't just one man/woman enough for a person?why is there a hunger for more at the same point of time?a fear for commitment?why is there is a downward fall?how can it be stopped....its alarming to see how people despite being married/or committed indulging into such practices..risking the lives of kids and family....no wonder divorces and a fight for alimony cases are on the high.....marraiges are supposed to be for a lifetime despite being a social construct,if one cannot honour the commitment then one shouldnt but then he/she has no right to violate their vows....have we forgotten our cultures and traditions?have we sacrificed our ethics and virtues in the race to survive?if there was a place called heaven would we be punished for the wrongs we have done?what will happen to the people wronged..the children who are scarred for life?what values are we going to impart to our children...will we given them a stable life or will we subject them to the live we have been sentenced to live....what then is the difference between a whore and a married lady or for that matter a man..so called respectable people of our society?at least the whore sells her body to survive and we sell our soul for pleasure....isn't it our responsibility to ensure our brothers and sisters and for that matter children have a better world to live in....


Saturday, February 24, 2007

on a honeymoon with friends

Yesterday was one of those days when you go to college and find out that there is just one class and that leaves with nothing to do except somehow pass the way....we had just one class...a group of friends bunked college and supposedly went to see Ekalavya.....those left..were just slaying time...willing time to pass...but with not much of success...some left to collect sponsorship for Sanskriti...others attending class and me?well i was trying my best to pass the next 4 and a half hours for my Italian class.....then the phone buzzes....Khyati called....they hadn't seen ekalavya but there were then buying tickets to 'honeymoon travels pvt ltd' and asked whether we would come....and we agreed readily....without wasting our time we rushed off to catch the bus and in no time we were at Priya and there our friends were waiting for me.....soon others were pouring in..and the 10 of the us strode in to watch the Farhan akhtar and Reitesh Sidwani's production Reema Kagti's Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd....
Debutant director Reema Kagti's 'Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd' brings out the comical flavors in a package of multi-starrer star cast. The Excel Movies comes out with this fun-packed frolicking ride after the huge success of their last release 'Don - the chase begins'. The film boasts of talent star cast of actors like Boman Irani, Shabana Azmi, Dia Mirza, Ranvir Shorey, Raima Sen, Kay Kay Menon, Amisha Patel, Carran Kapoor, Vikram Chatwal, Sandhya Mridul, Abhay Deol and Minnisha Lamba in lead roles. The film is based on comical honeymoon ride of six couples in the fun city of Goa. Music duo Vishal-Shekhar makes another spicy musical presentation after their average show in 'Golmaal' and 'I See You'. Experienced lyricist Javed Akhtar shows his panache once again in this bunch of lively entertaining musical show. The seven entertaining musical soundtracks of 'Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd' can be heard on T-Series music cassettes and Cd's.
it was one of the most hilarious movies i had ever seen...with friends it made the movie all the more entertaining..had khyati not invited us over..probably like most other movies that i had wanted to see this movie would have come and gone by unceremoniously.....but no this was different....thankfully i got to see the movie i had been wanting to see....a big thank you goes to Khyati,Nimisha,Sneha,Varun,Shiladitya, who invited us over...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


Things are going just perfect...too perfect i guess...Samik and i still fight but they don't last long as before...i guess we have matured and know how to handle it now...or maybe we don't bother much about it these days...now i know what stress can do to people arrgh!...life is to tough otherwise to even spare that kind of negativity and energy on this...we are not as lovey-dovey as we used to be,before...maybe we have become too used to each other...so now with no bickering or real romance my personal life has become uneventful and bleak as ever..it has hit an all time low,with nothing really happening...which others may view as a blessing...i need action...good/bad i don't care...i feel immensely envious of Abhinandan and Krittika...young love... they are always in a trance with their gazes locked,oblivious to the world around them and each time i see them i can't help but thinking why the heck Samik not here? ...why am i not having that kind of fun? where is the romance? ..wishful thinking continues...but nonetheless i am happy for my friends....so to summarise on a personal front...its uneventful and bleak but right on track...something like the clear soup that is not good to taste but good for health...and i am not grumbling but just wanting some action....sigh!

i am attending classes on almost a regular basis,even though at times somewhat grudgingly.....just started my Italian class...which is very interesting and educative and i am enjoying myself in fact...and specially so because some of my close friends are in it with me...hunt for a part time job or tuition is still on...those conferences in yahoo with about 7-8 friends from college which goes on till wee hours in the morning,it is a whole lot fun than i had actually imagined and this is becoming quite a ritual......life is how i want and like: preplanned and in a proper order....even if i am dog tired at the end of the day... my body aching with too much of stress and eyes pricking with lack of sleep...i am happy,because there is no reason not to...several shocks came my way but i have adapted with life and friends and now there are not much shocking things to come... after all...JU is all about growing up....

how come nothing drastic happening?how come i am not sad for something or other...is it a silence and calm before storm?when life becomes steady my panic button goes off nothing in my life is free flowing and when nothing drastic happens i know its about to happen...and for quite sometime now i have been feeling things,which i do not know if its just a figment of my imagination or my instincts are trying to tell something......certain hunches are coming true and slowly a picture is being formed,like a puzzle fallig into place...and it is not really a very happy one,in fact its far cry from happy...if at all my hunches come true then i wouldn't know what to do...all things things that means so much to me would fall apart and i would be left shattered..only this time i wouldn't know whether i would be able to survive or not....a storm is definitely brewing..but the fact that remains to be seen is...will the storm destroy everything in its wake?or will it just pass by? ...only time will tell and this time i will let fate decide and hope my instincts are wrong....

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Clipped Wings

I want to fly
Don’t clip my wings,
I want to skip, dance and sing
Don’t just bind me and hold me back

I want to run,
With the wind in my hair
The sun on my face
Throwing caution to the air
Don’t just bind me and hold me back.

Let me dream
Feel happy within
Let me sore,
Above the mountain high
Trust me for I’ll never make you cry.

Have faith and let me go,
Don’t hold me back and bind me
Just let me love and be free

Love is stronger
Than unspoken shackles
Faith and trust makes it formidable
No one can escape
The clutches of love,
So take heart and be calm
Don’t just hold me back.

I need to think
And breathe free
I want to love and
Still be me.
I want all this
And still be yours
If only you let me.

Friday, February 16, 2007

My New Guitar-Sappho

well...i have been fascinated by my friends and their skill of playing the guitar and i have been longing for one for quite sometime now...today morning i mustered the courage to tell mom that i was seriously considering to buy a guitar and learning how to play it.....and it did take some convincing on my part but soon she agreed and in fact asked me to buy one...after going to college i was so sparked with the idea of getting one that i actually spend the cash that i thought of depositing in the bank on my new guitar....its nice and black...quite a beauty i must confess....dad was shocked that his sports fanatic daughter has now taken an interest in music....but then he was very encouraging after he got over the initial shock...even though i am penniless now i am happy with my new possession...and i proudly call it Sappho...

today has been bittersweet...what with my new guitar and a close friend revealing that he is committed....i was truely happy but then i came to know that this other friend who has been ditched in love and that too very cruelly i think by this other friend of mine...and its terrible to see the joker of the class,who was earlier forever smiling in a state of depression...while the other friend basking in the new found love...though i should be happy for her i am sad for my friend....hope things work out for the better for everyone...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentines Day

ahh! the most dreaded day is finally over....the day began with me getting up from sleep tremendously late...a quick shampoo and i ran to my saloon for a hair cut...waiting for my stylist and finally the hair cut ..a run back home,,,a brush of my hair and putting on my new kurti and i was ready...just had one class yesterday...then a nice adda session with friends in class...then a on the spur decision to go to City Centre...Samik still hadn't called and fixed a time to meet up..and that drove me crazy [i hate when i don't know what will happen next, i am an organised person]and this was the first hint of a fight because i had forewarned Samik about this....

anyways the fight that was eminent,happened over a period of 2 hours..all this while i was with my friends and in city centre ....the best part was going to Starmark and finding the book- "Book of Answers" we asked weirdest of questions.. and the questions that i asked are as follows-

how will my evening with Samik go?
be prepared for mishaps

will i end up with Samik in life?

this was hilarious!and we were in splits asking all kinds of stupid and sordid questions....and this lifted my spirits to a large extent...they got a personal experience of a lovers tiff...and trust me it was anything but sweet and gory...there was a time when i thought of coming back home but by gods grace things changed...finally Samik and i came to a consensus that we ll meet and we did and then our mood and the whole outing went through a sea change,and that too for the better.

firstly we went to a coffee shop...where we talked at length and cleared all our differences and finally the animosity of the fight wore off....finally we both started enjoying ourselves....watching KROSSWINDZ performance made Samik feel a bit better and he stopped sulking and then we went for a cab ride to our next destination..that is the restaurant...we had a sumptuous meal...went for a wonderful walk..with the wind in our hair and hand in hand...until to my dismay i saw that merrily i had crossed my curfew...oh my god! mom is gonna kill me i thought....took a bus ride home...with Samik fussing over me...somehow i got home with mom glaring at me.."is this a time for a girl to come home?" thankfully dad interfered and got me off the hook"let her be...after all today is a special day.....i take it she has had her dinner outside!".......what an embarrassment!.....anyways Samik and i had another of our longish chat and finally i gratefully drifted off to sleep as the day came to an end...thankfully so...

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Series Of Events

one thing that i must mention before all events is..Sayantan da and Seemantini di had a baby girl and she is oh so sweet....its celebrating time....yay!oo i simply love babies and this baby is so adorable....

its been raining all day...and finally i got the shopping for Samik for valentines day done...in the morning i made up my mind,dispelling all doubts about going alone but then i just went and got him loads of stuff...what a relief!since it had been raining non stop it was chilling cold...and thankfully i had warm clothes on...there is a huge row in college regarding Sanskriti,where the political parties are fighting over power...arrgh!the best part of the day was...walking in SCD's class just 2 min before the class ended and got out attendance....then chatted all evening and then saw an awesome show of KROSSWINDZ.....this was my first experience of a rock show...and i must say despite my preconceived dislike i enjoyed myself.......

tomorrow is the the big day....its that time of the year again...its Valentines Day....i have no expectation of happiness regarding this day...last year was a major disappointment...but majorly i dislike this day because i believe if you are in love then each day is valentines day...the media and various card companies have over hyped the whole event....for samik's sake i am looking forward to it...he has so many plans regarding the day...for his sake i hope it goes well...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Renewed Friendship

loads have happened in the past...i have wronged and been wronged....tried to save a friendship and lost whole lot others in the process....misjudged and let misunderstandings part two friends...betrayed and been betrayed....been there and done that...many things have been said and done...and the air has finally been cleared....its time to making a new start again.....had a heart to heart with this friend of mine and cleared a lot of misunderstandings and issues and all is well again....we have left behind old pals and moved along....maybe this is how it should be,so be it......we have finally grown up and learnt a lot of valuable lessons....time and situations have changed us all but then life has given us another chance and here we are all giving our friendship another chance leasing it a new life....here's to our renewed friendship..cheers! :)

Sunday, February 04, 2007

New Look

Samik is looking just drop dead gorgeous....he has had his hair cut and now....with his uber cool attitude and neat hair cut ..he is just irresistible......yesterday we went out and more than once i saw many a pretty lady checking him out and it made me really proud to be the one he had his fingers laced...my heart skipped a beat more than once seeing him look quizzingly at me when he caught me staring....ooo i just cant seem to stop gushing......

Friday, February 02, 2007

Weighty Issues

A lot of new pictures have been clicked lately…and the reactions of it have all come out. ”You are looking good but your face looks fluffy” “you look a bit overweight”…that’s it! …I have decided…. I am going to lose some weight and that too fast…but no dieting just that i will put a check on what I eat and when, with a little bit of exercise thrown in… I just realized…if I don’t lose the puppy fat now I never will…soon I will be 20 and I’ll look like a middle aged lady waiting to be married and that too what an ugly bride!! Dark complexion, bad hair, below average features, overweight figure…first and foremost…I am not waiting to get married and I don’t care who thinks what about, the way I look…but what I do care is how I cannot wear anything I wish to, how at one time I used to be athletic and fit…I am not talking here of starving myself to make myself look reed thin but tone up myself…and I am going to do just that…. lose those extra kilos that makes me look fat…I do hope I succeed in my endeavors. I know I have failed on such missions before but this time I am going to put in whatever it takes to this plan through…what with Debdutta and Satish as my inspiration…I don’t think I have a chance to give up my resolution.