Sunday, February 25, 2007

promiscuity and adultery

Culture and ethics have undergone a sea change from the time these words were coined...people have refuted the social norms and indulged themselves in pleasures and luxuries...incest,promiscuity,adultery,gay ism and lesbianism have given way to bi sexuality,as being in "vogue"....and the trend gets revamped and becomes horribly grostesque...nothing seems stable anymore...relationships are becoming transient....one night stands and no-strings-attached affairs are in vogue....commitments are long since shelved....orgies and swingers have now gained popularity over marriages and "love-making" with the person you love or your spouse,its all about "sex" now....what is the world coming to?


Promiscuity is the practice of making relatively casual and indiscriminate choices. The term is most commonly applied to sexual behavior, where it refers to a person who does not limit their sex life to the cultural norm, typically one partner, or to the framework of a long term monogamous sexual relationship.


Adultery is extramarital, consensual sexual intercourse. Some legal jurisdictions define it more broadly to include varying levels of extramarital sexual relations

i wonder why people are being promiscuous?when we take a deeper look into couples married for 20-30 year..who seemed to be blissfully married and extremely in love...we find that even though they appear picture perfect...they have practiced promiscuity and adultery at some point or another,for whatever the reason maybe....doesn't the fact the emotional straying from your partner and finding solace in someone else also a part of this?does it always have to be a sexual intercourse with a person who is not your partner/spouse,a determining factor for promiscuity and adultery??why is there a recent hike in this trend when we are refuting the age old norm of getting married to a person and being loyal[emotionally and physically] to that person throughout our life?wwhether gay,lesbian straight or bi sexual,cant we stick to the person we choose to be with instead of cheating around?why isn't just one man/woman enough for a person?why is there a hunger for more at the same point of time?a fear for commitment?why is there is a downward fall?how can it be stopped....its alarming to see how people despite being married/or committed indulging into such practices..risking the lives of kids and family....no wonder divorces and a fight for alimony cases are on the high.....marraiges are supposed to be for a lifetime despite being a social construct,if one cannot honour the commitment then one shouldnt but then he/she has no right to violate their vows....have we forgotten our cultures and traditions?have we sacrificed our ethics and virtues in the race to survive?if there was a place called heaven would we be punished for the wrongs we have done?what will happen to the people wronged..the children who are scarred for life?what values are we going to impart to our children...will we given them a stable life or will we subject them to the live we have been sentenced to live....what then is the difference between a whore and a married lady or for that matter a man..so called respectable people of our society?at least the whore sells her body to survive and we sell our soul for pleasure....isn't it our responsibility to ensure our brothers and sisters and for that matter children have a better world to live in....

HEAL THE WORLD
MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE
FOR YOU AND FOR ME
AND FOR THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE.......

30 comments:

Ouroboros said...

why cannot one want more?

marriage is, after all, a social construct.

and you imply that a woman who seeks fulfillment outside of marriage is a viler than a whore?

and you think that a world minus /promiscuity/ and /adultery/ would be a better world to live in?

would you rather people be trapped in a loveless marriages? or abusive ones?

and why should pursuit of pleasure be penalised? why should it be something anomalous? that is the most natural state of being.

where is the fall?

rohit said...

why cant someone.....
if a man marries a woman and later finds out that he is in love with someone else what does he do stick on to a life on endless drudgery
cant a person fall in love with more than one person.. where is the wrong in it...

"incest,promiscuity,adultery,gay ism and lesbianism have given way to bi sexuality "

whatever do you mean by this.. reminds me of the bangla saying:jotho dosh nando ghosh. Let me tell you this for your information. Bisexual people have the most hard time in this world. Homosexuals dont like them beacuse they think this person can always go back to "living normal" and does not hav to face the social stigma they have to even though they are making love with people of the same sex
and heterosexual people think they are two timing them with probably someone else

Sex is not only procreation. A human has certain desires and if he gets them fulfilled outside his marriage with someone from his sex or other sex whats the problem?

I know the moral police will be throwing brickbats on me but then rather i stand by my beliefs than supporting something which in my opinion is stupid

Raka said...

@rohit and diviani
dont know what u gues thing but acc to me marraige is a litme commitment,for better or worse but i do agree that are times u maybe just stuck in a marraige but if one has to find fulfilment out of marraige then can opt for something called divorce which is legal....for that u dont have to cheating on their spouse...i am not for people who stick on to a lovelss marraiges...but then there is something called loyalty and decency...u can always opt out for that u dont always have to cheat

Raka said...

@rohit
this is my blog and i cjoose to write what i think..i am not here to do a research on bi sexuals..neither i am interested....i wrote what i think is not acceptable to "me"u may not agee but thats ur point...call me overtly pious or virtuous for all i care...this is my opinion u have a right to differ but try not to force ur opinion on me

Anonymous said...

you and me can only hope for the best. but personally i dont think it will gonna get better from where the world stands today. lets hope it can stay where it is.. someone today i met made a very valid point that we are becoming lazy.. lazy in imparting true values in next generation. they are not able to identify good from bad ugly from beautiful in life.. an effort is to be made from the day kids are born if this needs to be stopped or atleast minimised.

rohit said...

oh no no i am not imposing my views on you at all, but you cant be so judgemental... its your blog and you have full right to express your opinions thats what blogs are for arent they?
at teh same time commenst are for listenign to the other side of the coin.. and respecting that..atleat hearing what they have to say

Ouroboros said...

even though they appear picture perfect...they have practiced promiscuity and adultery at some point or another,for whatever the reason maybe....doesn't the fact the emotional straying from your partner and finding solace in someone else also a part of this?does it always have to be a sexual intercourse with a person who is not your partner/spouse,a determining factor for promiscuity and adultery??why is there a recent hike in this trend when we are refuting the age old norm of getting married to a person and being loyal[emotionally and physically] to that person throughout our life?why isn't just one man/woman enough for a person?why is there a hunger for more?a fear for commitment?why is there is a downward fall?

i do not condone promiscuity. lines blur. you might be shackled to someone else and find another more intellectually compatible. does that mean you're being promiscuous? you seem to hint it is.

you want to be with the person you think is the best bet, has the best genes. say, a better deal makes an appearance, wouldn't you choose that?

when one discovers a better mate while 'married', however farcical that marriage might be, the question of loyalty does not arise. because it is already over. the implications of divorce are ugly. not only is it a lengthy process that breeds bitterness, its financially and emotionally draining.

things cannot be solved that easily. you cannot merely say that first divorce your spouse then do whatever. when one marries, usually one does not think, "ok, i'm going to commit adultery the first opportunity i find", rather one harbors dreams of happily ever after, because generally, one marries because one is convinced that there could be no other better than their spouse.

people make rotten decisions. they should be given a chance to make good.

Raka said...

@rohit
thats precisely what i wrote...i am sorry if u dont understand what i write...pity really

Raka said...

@diviani
i dont know which world u live in..i respect u and ur thoughts but somehow ure thoughts- "you want to be with the person you think is the best bet, has the best genes. say, a better deal makes an appearance, wouldn't you choose that?

when one discovers a better mate while 'married', however farcical that marriage might be, the question of loyalty does not arise. because it is already over. the implications of divorce are ugly. not only is it a lengthy process that breeds bitterness, its financially and emotionally draining.

things cannot be solved that easily. you cannot merely say that first divorce your spouse then do whatever. when one marries, usually one does not think, "ok, i'm going to commit adultery the first opportunity i find", rather one harbors dreams of happily ever after, because generally, one marries because one is convinced that there could be no other better than their spouse.

people make rotten decisions. they should be given a chance to make good."

u ll be surprised but most our elders/society and law think the way i do....u have ur way of life and good luck to it...but neither do i believe in promiscuity or adultery neither can i find it acceptable...ure right to think the way u do...but in the same way i am entitled to have my own opinions and choose to express it the way i like...

Raka said...

@diviani
i dont know which world u live in..i respect u and ur thoughts but somehow ure thoughts- "you want to be with the person you think is the best bet, has the best genes. say, a better deal makes an appearance, wouldn't you choose that?

when one discovers a better mate while 'married', however farcical that marriage might be, the question of loyalty does not arise. because it is already over. the implications of divorce are ugly. not only is it a lengthy process that breeds bitterness, its financially and emotionally draining.

things cannot be solved that easily. you cannot merely say that first divorce your spouse then do whatever. when one marries, usually one does not think, "ok, i'm going to commit adultery the first opportunity i find", rather one harbors dreams of happily ever after, because generally, one marries because one is convinced that there could be no other better than their spouse.

people make rotten decisions. they should be given a chance to make good."

u ll be surprised but most our elders/society and law think the way i do....u have ur way of life and good luck to it...but neither do i believe in promiscuity or adultery neither can i find it acceptable...ure right to think the way u do...but in the same way i am entitled to have my own opinions and choose to express it the way i like...

Ouroboros said...

err...i wasn't in any way denigrating your opinions, only presenting a different take on it. everybody is entitled to their own opinions. but it is also desirable that they be aware of the many different perspectives an issue can be looked at from.

and i'm not surprised that a larger part of the society thinks the way you do. but that isn't why i choose not to, or think that if i did, it would be argument enough for my choosing to do so.

disillusioned said...

ummmm am late but i am in agreement with questions u have raised....my idea is too immatured and not of relevance yet i think toadays youth is on a 'i want everything and fast' mantra...they take the leap most of the times without thinking....ignoring the fact that a marriage is a bond and not just an experience dat u just have to have even if u r unsure bout it.....and thus most of the times they end up dissatisfied.....

A COMMENT ON UR BLOG SEZ...WHY CANT PPL WANT MORE?OFCRSE DEY CAN BUT SEE WEN IT COMES TO LUV AND SEX HONEY BEING TIED UP WITH ONE AND STILL WANTING MORE IS PRETTY ANIMAL LIKE ISNT IT??LIKE WAT CATS AND DOGS MIGHT DO...IF ONE IS DISSATISFIED WITH ONE'S PARTNER THEN I FULLY VOTE THEY SHUD DIVORCE AND SETTLE FOR SM1 ELSE...BUT NOT INDULGE IN ADULTERY WEN ONES STILL IN A RELN...CMON KIDS MARRIAGE IS A BOND A RELATIONSHIP....NEEDING MATURE UNDERSTANDING...I FEEL IF ONE FAILS TO DO SO ONE SHUD NOT MARRY AND GO IN FOR LIVE IN RELNS...ITS THERE TOOO RT....AND THERES NOTHING WRONG IN IT AS U CAN WALK OUT WEN U WANT....BUT ONE MUST TREAT MARRIAGE WITH RESPECT.....

Raka said...

@disillusioned
very well said...just the point i have been trying to get accross...

@diviani
as i said before...we both are entitled to our opinions...and i didnt at all want u guys to present a different picture i wouldnt have made a provision for a "comments"section....it being there is proff enough that though i may not agree with ur ideologies the least i can do is to listen....after all thats the whole point of this debate

silkfirester said...

just a thin line in between that makes the two words not only alphabetically different but also to an extent where many( still a minority i feel) would endorse promiscuity and not adultery. since marriage(s) do not feature in my life prediction, i wouldn't comment on adultery. but promiscuity. some do it for the heck of having sex beyond their legitimate conjugal partners. not all. the basic embryonic feel of tresspassing and infidelity does not lie in 'sex with newness' alone forgodsake. a woman or a man might desire to explore another object of fascination phisically. nothing wrong in it. simple logic. sex alone does not justify love for two individuals,similarly sex alone with another does not hint at immoral act. it's a desire which needs fulfilment at the hour of urge.ofcourse, the qualities of that person is relative. it could be anyone. purely circumstantial.but he'd definitely have something to do with atleast with a miniscule amount of lust factor. so it happens. the accountability of the indulgence to the 'real' partner is dependent on you totally. is he that important to be graduated to a level of a secret vault of your confessions and karma? naah. naah at all. think.

Ouroboros said...

sohini,

you're hilarious. you are, you know.

marriage is legalised prostitution. (don't make at my poor throat, people, i didn't say that. a very famous and respected gentleman did. went by the name of george bernard shaw.)

so essentially, signing a piece of paper (or pieces, rather, there seem to be about 3 dozen) and spouting funny things in loud make-up and ridiculously expensive clothes that might not ever be worn again and feeding scores of people whom you hardly know excludes you from the life of fulfillment you might've lead had you just cut out all of that and simply cohabitated with another?

jeee-zus...what's the difference? presuming you marry for love, (or simply because you don't want to do everything alone by yourself and envision a future sharing things with whoever it is that you end up getting hitched to) what differnce does a live-in relationship(what a quaint term!) or a marriage make, except that the former involves a zillion circuitous legal hassles?

sigh...if only divorce weren't such an ugly thing...

in a perfect world there'd be freedom to choose what one wanted. you'd be surprised at what people chose, then. make something un-taboo and see how many actually indulge in it.

oh and also, an adulterous affair does not necessarily mean the end of the primary relationship. sometimes it stokes its embers too.

but unfortunately, none of us here are actually married, so we can only speculate, which can be rather pointless as few of us seem to be possessed of any foresight/knowledge about behavioral science.

and nimisha,
shit happens. but it doesn't necessarily have to hit the fan. its like making love to one and fantasising about the favorite moviestar. (omg...thats adultery!! forgive me lord for i have sinned!!) betrayal that happens in the mind is of the worst kind, the body turns traitor in a second, but that can be conquered.

Raka said...

@ouroboros
i think u have rested ur case...and there isnt any reason why u shud keep coming back to take pot shots at people....we have all heard ur prospective and we have stated ours..no use screaming ur ideas....here both for and against the topic have said what they have to now its time to move on....next topic or blog please....[no offense intended :)]

this post is over and done with and with this i hope it is finally an end....

disillusioned said...

rAKA ,come now it was only getting interesting and u wanna close it now!!!

to ouroboros or whoever u r....i dnt thnk u have read my comment closely...i sed or rather meant ppl who r craving for more can just opt for a live-in relnship and keep changing partners at will u r rt wats da use of signing a piece of paper and proclaiming oneself happy??absolutely my point too...am against the idea of accepting adultery in marriage u rahter live unmarried and with as many men as u want....
1stly we r not leading bernard shaw's life...am presuming each one of us have one set of parents[!!]happily tied up with each other.....so why da hell blame this institution...

i can be hilarious but then the ppl of this world makes me laugh so hard at times i feel fully entertained.....:)...[hey srry raka for starting this]

Raka said...

@people
if u still wanna discuss go on....but keep it healthy...i am all ears and now this is getting really interesting

disillusioned said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
disillusioned said...

###and to dear ouroboros....its not bout being hilarious its bout having a belief...yess 'my belief' as illogical it might be,as foolish and parading imbecility it might and i will stick to it no matter what.yes i dnt find anythng wrong with the institution of marriage and i dnt see how dat will bother others.....or tickle their bones....i also find adultery filthy and living in reln a good alternative for whimsical creatures and this goes even for me...u knw history proves there was polyandry/polygamy...cool but thats 'history' and done with...if there was smthng gr8 bout it wud have stayed on....in full societal view....so lets not react so violently

silkfirester said...

ohmigawd. what a pot boiler. diviani, i don't get whether you understood what i meant in the comment or were you trying to compartmentalize into the majority bracket ; that is denial and popular cocooning from promiscuity . i personally have no qualms with the belief. but your statement didn't quite reach out to me.

rohit said...

well well this is getting seriously intersting i must say
like i said and diviani did too there is a line of difference between adultery and promiscuity (oh yeah nimisha mentioned this aswell)

i am all for promiscuity (okay sword weilding people with high morales which i am sure my comment would prove i am not)but yeah adultery is bad and not done

rohit said...

and to the readers there is a flipside to promiscuity as well why not read that at my blog but peopl its only a comic relief so please do not take it seriously

:D

Ouroboros said...

err..violently? potshots? scraeming views? (btw, using all caps is tantamount to screaming, lok up netiquette... ;p)
lord...civil language goes unappreciated yet again...sigh...what is the world coming to...

A. re-read that very long post.

B. sohini, i don't get it...you can be adulterous in a live in relationship but not in a marriage? is that it? what, you do not love the person concerned if you merely cohabitate? being promiscuous would still amount to promiscuity if you were unfaithful to a person you've made promises of fidelity whether or not you choose to solemnise that promise as society wishes you to, that is, by means of ritual and legal sanction.

the notion that infidelity ceases to be infidelity if one isn't married to the person concerned is the most hypocritical notion i've come across in this discussion yet.

C. case I: you tell a person you love them. you think you love them. but then you fall in love with another. you tell them you don't love them and that you want out. very few people will accept that and let you go without much bitterness. god forbid if you're already married to them. property hassles, custody battles, etc will eat you whole and spit the scanty remnants out.
case II
or you grow close to another. and that stokes the embers. you realise you want to salvage the primary relationship. you pay more attention to it. do things you used to before the ennui. you resuscitate. revive, because you've just realised what you were about to lose.

case III
you find a soulmate so perfectly suited to you that you wish you'd met them earlier so that you could've avoided the ensuing mess that most breakups- divorces or otherwise result in. operative words: most, breakups.

all of this falls under promiscuity?

what would you do? oh i know. one cannot fall in love more than once.

oh and if you've noticed, in none of my earlier posts have i used the term adultery except in quotes. which brings me to point A. reread earlier post.

disillusioned said...

ummm huge comment its very true wat u say...and dat brings us to the point is adultery something negative or not???...and since u urself have admitted that adultery in any sort of reln living in or othrwise is hypocritical....then where does the theory of 'why cannot one want more?' comes from....thats pretty hypocritical as well....frankly i dint get on which line u had argued so far or on which side of da debate u r upholding....but yesss ROHIT'S COMMENT MAKES FULL SENSE...."but yeah adultery is bad and not done "
AND ITS PRETTY MUCH HOW IT SHUD BE....PPL CAN GO ON WRITING ANYTHING TO ME AFTR THIS BUT I GUESS I WILL CLOSE MY POINT HERE....

to ouroboros-i had no problem with ur entire comment except the line 'why cant ppl wan t more?my point too is if smone gets into a reln out of love why shud dat person want more????duuuh doesnt makes sense does it.....kinda 'hypocritical; tooo dnt u feel???

disillusioned said...

also i feel the comment boxes r such small place most of what am saying or maybe what others r trying to say r being misinterpreted.....maybe i cant understand them or they r not gettiong me....SO BASICALLLY I WROTE BOUT ALL THIS IN MY BLOG....PPL EAGER TO ARGUE BOUT IT[WHICH I WUD LIKE VERY MUCH] R WELCOME TO TAKE A LOOK OVER THEIR AND CONTRADICT ME IF THEY FEEL SO....ATLEAST THAT WUD BE BETTR THAN TRASHING THIS POOR LIL COMMENT AREA......i wud very much love to be pointed wrong....

Raka said...

@everyone...

i think its about time to end this discussion..adieu

Cin said...

Wow, so well put Raka. You really generated a lot of thought and emotion with this post. It has been very interesting to read each comment. I happen to agree with your view. It is obvious that some others do not, but that is the wonderful thing about freedom of speech.Well done!

Priyanka Sarkar said...

hey raka...very well thought!!!
forced me to write smthng abt th same in my blog as well....(do chk it out;))...im really impressed by ur writing skills....kudos to tagore house..wat say??

Raka said...

@cindy...
*HUG*...glad u think the way i do


@priyanka di..
thank thank u