Sunday, April 22, 2007

Parent-Child Equation


parenting has undergone a sea change than what it was just a few generations back....here having kids is termed as planning kids...where couple analyze their careers,financial abilities and emotional capacity to provide kids and then they "plan babies"......

earlier within a year of marriage family and relatives would urge and pressurize couples to have kids or even at least think of having kids...then having kids was more like filling in the social need to complete the family...it had nothing to do with celebrating a new life..the first kid initiates this social process and the second becomes the playmate of the former and also completes the family....but now the scenario has undergone a drastic change....the young and ambitious fullfill their their desire to start a family only after their other interests are fulfilled....and to me i think this is the best way..despite the absurd idea to actually plan a family,as others opine...at least today's parents are devoted in all respects to kids...they are aware of the responsibility that they are taking on in life...

arguably earlier the parents gave in heritage to the kids,a good value system...but despite the materialistic world as it now is,the parents now give the emotional aid to the kids that previously parents lacked...parents are the providers of the children but the needs of the kids are not limited to just material things like money for school,college,tuition,pocket money,clothes and other necessities...parents in quest to be ideal for their kids establish themselves as staunch authority rather than bringing themselves to be friends with the kids..not being a parent myself it wrong for my part to judge parents but as a child i can say...if you cant give your all..be it financially or emotionally then dont have kids...but when you find yourself unable to do so why put your child to any inconvenience....world thrives on money agreed..just providing materials for survival is not enough the emotional bonding with kids is required too...just because we are reared a particular way,does that mean that we should subject our kids to that?there are many unfortunate who dont have kids of their own...i say its better of being that way than be bad parents or being unable to be the ultimate shelter for your kids...

i have heard my friends complaining....one of them says...my folks force me to fend for myself before graduation,[that too i took a stream they picked out for me and not from my own choice] when they can very well afford my financial responsibilty..they choose to spend life luxuriously,indulging in things that they need not..instead i do a part time to earn my keep and they want a share of my salary [however meager it is]...the other friend says....just because i didn't go into engineering and i am excelling in english honours in a reputed college...my dad is subjecting me to utter humiliation in front of the plumber,mechanic people in our complex etc...why?because i choose to study what i loved and was good at...now i have to fund everything on my own,with zero assistance from my father.....another friend confesses that she too faces something similar and yet different...her dad is the most caring dad...he provides for her...it always here to pick and drop but then on an emotional level...he is just not there....he doesnt care for them...no family outing,no vacation no family time...she gets no emotional comfort in her parents who just take on the role of provider and nothing else....even her mother who has never been a friend to her.......

these are just a few examples of some problems we the kids face..these may not be huge issues..but neither are they trivial enough to be sidelined...its a matter that every parent to be,should consider before bringing a child to life..because later it compels the kids to wonder if they were just,a part of a social process to complete a family and their importance to their family is nothing but that.let not the children wonder,if parents are unable to take on responsibility of kids why have them in the first place....many will argue that their parents are not this way...all i ll say is that those who are not among the group undergoing what most do,are infact very lucky. for in everything situation,exception is truly the rule....

5 comments:

ani said...

my elder sister just 'planned' her first baby! :) n we're all happy about it cmin coz we know their lives are settles enuff now to give the child a good life! not just financially but emotionally as well.. :) Parents need to stop lookin at kids as a way to fulfill the dreams they cudnt and start looking onto them as a joy that fulfills lives!!

phoenix said...

@ani
i am so happy for you your family and your sister...good luck for the baby..the newest addition to your family....

and as for your view on parents...i couldnt agree more...

disillusioned darkling said...

holaaaa...good one raka...srry not been able to come here....cuz of crappy internals and equally crappy end sem syllabus

Priyanka Sarkar said...

its amazin tht u thot of this particular topic!!!its sort of a rhetoric....so one cudn really do much but agree wit u!!!but kudos for the writing style!!!:)

phoenix said...

@soohini
i truly understnad....been through hell mysefl :D
best of luck for sems!

@priyanka di...
this is one topic that has been tantalizing me for ages...and i thought why not explore it!:D