Wednesday, May 09, 2007

oops i did it again!!!

yea i have done it again...and now i am back to where i was...yeah...hurt and bruised....after the fiasco last sem...where i was heartbroken because...truly my best pal then,betrayed and hurt me....i was devastated...and extremely heart broken....i had learnt a precious lesson...i had then decided that i wouldnt get attached to people who pretends to be your friend but isnt so actually....and this way i ll prevent myself from getting hurt...thus making up my mind..i made a new beginning this semester...

this sem i am back to where i began....in this materialistic world where people just use you to move ahead...where emotions hardly have any value...friendship and companionship is just another excuse to manipulate and use you....i being really poor at the art of deception and dissimulation gave my all to this new group of so called friends....gave away my personal note book of notes to friends..there was nothing called my personal notes..my internal answer scripts were xeroxed and distributed..i slogged hard to complied notes and others just used them...i dont mind helping my friends,giving away my last dime or my last morsel of food...but the least i expect is,them being nice to me..after whatever i have done....despite several problems i arranged study meets at my place...spared time for friends who needed me before the exams...attending to numerous calls...several suggestions..and explanations late into the night....and since the semesters are over now..i am of no use to them.....alas!i didnt learn any lesson even having undergone so much last semester..... i did what i told myself i never would...i got attached to these selfish people...and now i am hurt!

there is nothing really to brag here,for what i did,was for people i considered as friends and friends did that for friends and as for lamenting over this,i shall feel not sorry about all this...just this time,i know i am wrong...i did everything to deserve this...but this time i have sworn to metamorphose into a "better" person...a simple girl cant survive in this big bad world...the world just forces one to change to make us a part of it...no matter how bad this may seem but this is reality...the innocence,unpretentious and unassuming spirit is never appreciated...everything is done in order to make a person change...in the end the person is forced to succumb....maybe this is life....where people move about masqueraded as friends..on a lookout to use the next person who came along!beware people it truly is a big bad world

12 comments:

Cin said...

Yeah, there are some really awful people out there. But there are a select few who truly care about you. Its hard to let down your guard and then be hurt, but please don't be too cynical. You are just beginning your journey, and will encounter many people. Some will hurt you, most will love you. It is all a part of life. Learn the lessons from it, then move on with joy. But don't close off that part of yourself that radiates love and kindness. You are an incredibly special person and I can truly say that my world is a better place because of your friendship. All my love Cindy

Rajeev said...

REALITY BITES buddy!
heheh!
Its just about the time.
tk cr.

peace & love
JeeVY

Shamash said...

stop cribbing raka, like i said
"i always told you"

the above comment ma sound harsh but that is the reality ou will have to live by...
u cannot do anything about...
follow ur new philosophy and u will be just fine

*hug*

phoenix said...

@cindy
i am not cynical just practicle

@rajeev
yeah it does..and it bites real bad :(

@rohit
not cribbing yaar...just feeling hurt
but ya this time i ll stick to my decisions...
*HUG*

Priyanka Sarkar said...

very true!!! its all ths harsh realities tht make us a more complicated person with time!!!but your innocence is wat makes u special.....so dont let those damned oppurtunists take that away from u!!!!:)
take care my dear!!!

phoenix said...

@priyanka di...
cant promise but will try...but in this world you have to be one of them to survive...or u r squished...survival of the fittest you see

Michelle said...

I can absolutely relate to what ur feeling right now...

Protegeoflife said...

It sucks i know but u write very well use it ur weapon good post again

phoenix said...

@michelle
hm...

@bhavin
thankx

Jeya Anand said...

I have gone through the same and going through the same ...but i have got a couple of friends worth living...so i move on and my eccentric nature helps a lot i guess...I dont move well or talk well to strangers and those who hurt me...so i leave them behind with a smile when i had to cross them in the future ....:)
life is a such a battle...keep going...

Gud post...And gud to see u...:)

phoenix said...

@jeya
i totaly understand...but this is life...and i have learnt a few lessons...and since i have found out that some of my close are genuine...i know that after yesterday,,,but the the lesson is well learnt...

relations said...

hey ther..
every point truely written
as they say life is it..
but we dont love others in order to be loved..
its our tendency to loveand we will not change loving people,do hell with what anybody does..
we are good and we will be..
ceeaa and keep fine