Thursday, June 28, 2007
Saturday, June 23, 2007
the other day we had the entrance exam of our department,where i was volunteering and i met scores of anxious parents and nervous students who are desperately hoping to get through...so many fears and worries they had with hopeful dreams...i must have had the same dazed look on my face too..seems like yesterday we entered college and suddenly we are the seniors...ragging will soon happen :) that reminds me...as soon as Khyati comes from Baroda the planning must start,we have some tricks up our sleeves...hehehe..
its so depressing to think that one year has gone by and just 2 more to go...and soon the 15 of us [our group] will have to split....but one thing for sure...if in just 1 year we can have that much fun i fear to think what will happen in the next 2 years...heheh what with lunatics like Shiladitya,Souro and Saurav...sensitive souls-Abhi,Tania and Ria...pranksters like Khyati,Sneha and Krittika,intellectual Antareep,Rohit and Nimisha;musical Varun and of course my twin soul-Ipsy...life will never be colourless or monotonous with them around...may the freshers too find the bliss in friendship and college life like we have...cheers!! :)
Friday, June 22, 2007
Storm clouds darken the sky
Soon it began to pour
I let the raindrops soak me
Head to toe
I let the rain purge me soul
And make my spirits soar
I submit myself
To the mercy of the rain gods
I skip the puddles and
Jump the ditches and walk along
With a spring in each step
Feeling happy within.
The worries seem to have lifted
Even if momentarily
Pain has been drowned
And tears washed away…
My heart sang a different tune
Eyes sparkled and spirit danced away
As rain water dripped from my face
And drenched me all the way…
Monday, June 18, 2007
Despite giving in my notice to a thankless job today i ll probably miss working with rohit and other new friends i have made there..the frequent coffee making sessions and the trillion calls to friends and relatives from office phones...my friends now are tuned in to my urgent whispers and emphatic voice over the phone calling insisting that they talk,while i pretended to be on a call,what with my manager hovering around..probably this job has instilled some amount of confidence in me to face unknown people and conquer the fear of unknown....yesterday i went to Big Bazaar to get some supplies,where i stopped at the mobile counter to check out the cells as i am planning to buy a new one..so this person behind me was accompanied with a friend and merrily they passed a comment on us...out of the blue very unlike me i found myself turning back and asking "have you got anything to say?if then ask directly instead of passing snide comments!" this took them unawares and me as well...samik turned and took my side...there was almost a scene with the men having being caught in action and despite being guilty their behavior was extremely rude,spoke of the lowly upbringing...in the end they were asked to leave and we moved on our way ..the fact remains " i protested!" something i would never have done before...but i found courage to raise my voice against the wrong...my job taught me that and for that i will be forever grateful!maybe there will no longer be those free phone calls to friends and family,the chats in office pantry,making charts or gossiping...but the freedom of my spirit and my creativity will be back...its celebration time...Liberation at last!
here's to freedom.....cheers!!!
Saturday, June 16, 2007
This post is about Samik...well my initial fear of leading a life apart from samik,when his job required him to leave Kolkata has been put to ease...finally after thinking over a lot of good offers that took him out of the city he has finally settled down for HSBC and he is gonna be in the city ...HURRAY!!!!
I cant express just how relived and happy i am....i still cant believe he ll be with me in the same city...past year i was worried sick that he would have to leave...but now...the feeling si just soo liberating...its not sure if his placement will be here though...after his initial training session here he may be placed elsewhere but who cares??next 6 months at least he is here...and i am keeping my fingers crossed for his stay here is a permanent one...
last few months all we both did was fight...on small or BIG issues...it seemed that 5 1/2 days in a week we fought...everything seemed to down hill...it seemed as though the rough patch would last forever but thankfully its not so [touch wood] basically since he has joined his job he is much more caring and affectionate and ahem i too have undergone a huge change....probably we both have realized what could have happened and what didn't..and we value the opportunity of being together that has been giving together...
yesterday a friend of mine was shooting for this small film of his and i was a part so i went over to the place where we were supposed to shoot,basically we got over at 4.30 and samik would get over at 6...so somehow he called me [he had sneaked his phone into his pocket while he was supposed to keep it in his locker and he spoke to me]hurriedly we made plans to meet up.I dont know why,but,I JUST HAD TO MEET HIM.i stayed back and killed time for about 2 hrs and then got drenched in the rain and boarded a massively crowded bus with people breathing down my neck but in the end i met him..and it was all worth it...its like the initial desperation to meet each other was back...and the love had us in its grip again...and it felt damn good just being together and holding hands.....
i just have to mention here that samik looked absolutely amazing in formals...shirt and trousers with his office tag...stunning is just appropriate...and for what was probably the first time i felt really proud to be with him...i couldn't just take my eyes off him..and the flutter in my heart was back :) moreover the fuzzy feeling within us make it all the more difficult for us to part when my bus finally came....all day today we were making excuses to talk and we did...we were on and off the phone and finally meeting him this evening was the ultimate bliss...the walk in the rain hand in hand and the look of over flowing happiness and love in his eyes, reflected in mine and now several hours after meeting each other the effect hasn't worn off...
probably this is love which its ups and downs...
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The atmosphere was hot and humid; it seemed that not one drop of perspiration could get soaked. There was this heaviness in the air; everything was still as if something would happen. Not one leaf moved, not a bird was to be seen. as drivers sweated it out behind the wheels, waiting for the signal to turn green; somewhere unnoticed millions of red ants made their way, in symmetrical lines, scurrying to seek refuge and stock the food they were carrying.[they say ants signify rain]I look up and pray to the sky God to answer my prayers and send rain pouring down, washing and cleansing and giving respite to all suffering the heat attack. We have had quite a few false hope of rain…and then we were denied but this time I hoped beyond hope that it does “pour” and not rain. No amounts of juice, water, cold drink could quench the thirst or put the heat down. Humidity level plummeted as the storm clouds darkened the sky….. Promised rain???
“and then the rain came pouring down” in big, huge drops and then in almost torrents bringing respite to all. despite carrying several packages, my bag, books and stationary and being in a very awkward situation: I threw caution away and walked [I could have taken a rickshaw but I preferred to walk] home. Those 20 minutes may not have been the most comfortable of times but then it has been extremely satisfying, happy, and a purging experience for me.
Suddenly I felt tears pricking my eye and then it trickled its way down. the rain prevented others from viewing it, I realized it was just like old times… walking in the rain crying but then it wasn’t old times…the tears in my eye wasn’t of pain or anguish like before but were tears of happiness and peace…it felt as if rain washed my worries and grief of the last few days away…the awful feeling that I would have another day at office the next day or, the several other problems that keep nagging my mind….it felt good to let my frustration and fatigue being purged…moreover it felt nice to let the un-cried tears trickle down…with every gulp of the fresh air I felt rejuvenated …it felt like I was walking upon the air…it felt damn good to forget about everything but the numbing effect of rain on my face…. Disregarding the sneers and leaching on the streets and the reprimanding looks from elderly people seeing a young girl walking home in the rain instead of taking shelter somewhere….it felt amazing…rain never felt this good….maybe the only other time I had this enjoyable time was when I was in class 5 or 6 when all my friends in the locality met up in this garden of this house where we usually played….that too in out night clothes just to get drenched together first thing in the morning in the first showers of the year that heralded the monsoons…those were some fun…and now that I am all grown up.. hmm ok not so much in fact but quite a bit I haven’t lost the ability to enjoy these finer points in life… rain and the smell of wet earth brings back wealth of memories of my innocent childhood and friends who are now scattered and lost in their busy lives but frozen in my memories when we used to huddle together and play cricket….the house with the garden: our childhood hangout and play ground has now been broken down and in its place stands a tall and handsome multistoried building yet the memories stay…
Two lines of this popular Hindi song comes to my mind now….
Nagme hain,shikve hain,kisse hain batein hain
Batein bhul jati hain yadein yaad ati hai..
Yeh yaiein kissi dil o janam kay
Chale janey ke baad ati hain…
One forgets the words that has been said
One forgets the pain or the song
That has once being sung
But what remain forever are the memories
And these memories come back
When your beloved is not near
Lost in nostalgia and the safe haven of my thoughts….unknown its morning once again…. Mom just brought me my morning coffee…feels wonderful actually to let my mind weave a cocoon of memory and of feelings; which even for a few moments lets you escape to a utopian world… since its still pouring hard maybe I’ll just give office a miss today. HURRAY! It would really be a crime to work on such a beautiful day…in any case I had lots of work…first meeting samik for coffee and then ipsy for shopping…god..i really need rest now
Have a wonderful day ahead!
Saturday, June 09, 2007
well walking out of the metro station i make my way towards the busy streets...nooks and corners..walls and drains....people [guys] are at their best: p**ing...i refuse to believe the public loos are not there ...government has created such places for people to use not just for show...yet guys choose to destroy walls and moreover public property.....they seem to have no shame that others are seeing what should have been an extremely private affair......scratching their crotch to fixing their underwear on the streets they do it all...that too without a care in the world....buying so called mouth fresheners from the vendor round the corner...people chew like cows at work but when it comes to dispose the rappers of what they have eaten...well i guess they think roads are apt place to honor....and as for the spit??well just chuck it anywhere you please...from the window of the bus...or while walking on the streets or even corners of elevators...who cares if it lands on people walking around...and when it actually does pick a fight to show what a man you are.......feelings very bold??want to show your girl friend how committed you are??why not take her out to visit some monument in the city and when no one is looking why not scribble your and your beloved's name on the pillars and walls...i say why not do something constructive instead...write a poem or paint something....there must be trillion ways to show your feelings and not destroying public property like that....crowded bus...people are packed like a can of sardines....you are feeling a bit naughty and wicked...why don't play with that school girl who seems distracted and an apt prey since she wouldn't say anything...so just go over..stand behind her...try and caress her...use her to fulfill your cheap thrills....disregard the fact that this incident may scar her for life....forget that someday when you have a child she may go through the very same thing from another man....i wonder how men being raised by mothers and sisters themselves stoop to such perversion to just satisfy their silly whims...
You get up on a bus...a seat is left....you tell the [fat]lady sprawled beside you to shift in order to allow you to sit..she pretends to move but nothing as such happens....somehow you squeeze in and sit...rather uncomfortably.....what harm would it have done the other lady to shift just a little to allow you to sit well..after all you both are paying for the ticket....and you thought only men can be mean.....worse still... there will be these all kinds of ladies either sitting beside you or standing just in front of you...and with every turn that the bus takes she swings almost on top of you...and the odour emitting from her...arrrrrrrrggggggghhh!! could strangle you to death.....the moment you take out your wallet to pay the ticket collector....all eyes are on your wallet...you had kept aside your last 10 rupees note to take a rickshaw home and you give the conductor a 50 bucks to get the change..immediately the lady with her eyes in your wallet will point out that indeed you have a 10 bucks to spare.ufffff!!!then there are ladies who get up on the bus and demand the seats to be given for most absurd reasons,others just dump their load on you on top of your stuff [however much that is :(] and expect you to carry them for her since you have managed a seat and she hasn't...moreover when an old lady boards the bus,no one bothers to give her a seat to sit...and when a young girl offers her seat to her...people glare at her as if it was a sin that she has committed.......
the list of social menace goes on and on and to write down exactly what the social scenario is like now,is a colossal task.........and truly speaking it is quite degrading to even mention them....i wonder why people are so careless and ignorant and moreover selfish...if ones needs and desires are fulfilled them he/she stops caring for others...people forget that society and its people have a symbiotic relationship with one another and one cannot exist without the other and thus its important to do our bit to keep the place we live in and its people in proper hygiene....live and let live...and if that is not possible then don't make it tough for others to survive...
P.S this is not written to degrade any gender/people/country just my feeble attempt to make people sit up and realize the things they are doing that they shouldn't...its my protest against the degeneration of values,social codes of conduct and personal hygiene.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
I had an early morning shift and so i got out of home earlier than usual... as i sat on the bench in the metro station waiting for my training...i saw people....in tens...hundreds or probably thousands all gearing up for another grueling day at their respective job....all are scurrying towards their work stations...to fill their coffers...to provide their families the luxuries and 4 square meals a day.....despite their likings or in fact disliking they are out...struggling hard to go on...to work so that their families are well off.....i felt ashamed...i was working just to take a bit of my dad's burden off...instead of asking for maybe a bit more pocket money i am fending for myself [i get a moderate pocket money]..suddenly my reason to work seem too small and too in consequent...and probably meaningless...that lifted my gloom to a great extent....
After endless phone calls....few banged the phone without listening and few were cordial..finally it was a relief when it was 2pm and my shift was over...moreover tomorrow is the casual wear day...hurray!!!its a pain to wear formals to work...what with salwars and elaborate dupattas [part of our attire]thankfully i can just slip on a jeans and a tee team it up with floaters/sneakers [thats the way i am usually :)] i really pity the professionals and senior management people or people from the hospitality industry who always have to wear prim and proper official clothes to their work station..despite the comfort....the only other comfort for me in office is the ac and the tea/coffee machine [ does wonders to my almost always hungry tummy which is on diet....]
finally the storm clouds that were brewing the last few days are now threatening to spill and its really wonderful to sit by the window and let my thoughts take flight and records the days happenings as my fingers punch furiously on the keypad....we sure need a heavy downpour to wash away the grime and heat of the last few days...what with the mercury rising and the humidity going up another notch..phew!!! we need torrential downpour....to drown out my gloom to fill my senses with the smell of the wet wet earth..tiny droplets of rains breeze into my room...making my glasses hazy....yet the feel of the cool breeze on my skin is like a balm that does away with all worries and cares of the world....all i want now is to dance upon air and let the rain soak me head to toe and let my spirits fly!!!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
Fibbed to my manager and bunked office and went to see cheeni kum with samik today....basically its a feel good movie with a perfect belnd of humour and reality check thrown in....a mature romance between tangri kabab [Tabu/Meena] 34,single and ghass phuss[Amitabh Bacchan/Buddhadev]64,arrogant chef and definitely single.....what most struck me was the chemistry between Big B and Tabu....its funny how a Hydrabadi briyani can bring two people close and make an arrogant chef much more mellow......the special appearance by baby swini was really fantastic as "sexy"...with her bossy and demanding ways,Zohra Segal was wonderful too even at this age....all in all quite entertaining....Paresh Rawal was good with his comic timings...towards the end the climax seemed to dron on and on....despite that...witty one liners...subtle streaks of humor and a perfect combination of seasoned actors...for an entertaining watch...
Saturday, June 02, 2007
monsoon rains and falling leaves
we have witnessed it all
and we are together still
as years and months
came and passed by
hurdles we have crossed
stood the test of time
tyrannizes of fate
and conspiracies of mankind
we have endured it all
and we are together still
troubled times brought alone
pain,unhappiness and anguish
tears flowed and heart bled
we cried together ,as pain
brought us closer still
being blessed by our parents
and sharing those happy moments
smiles an joy filled nights
and those beautiful days
love binded us closer still
heaven and earth seems to say
as stars and fate
confirm their acceptance
and now its official
"WE" are here to stay!
may the years and months
quickly come and go by
and despite the discords
together we stay
united and very much in love
which grows by the day...
today is the day that the angel of love had visited me almost three years back
Happy birthday samik
and Happy Anniversary to us!
Friday, June 01, 2007
yesterday i hosted one of our fabulous get together...after all this week we did have one...and all of us were dying to chill out....khyati came early to help...and we had loads of fun cooking..with ipsy looking on......others trooped in later and we sprawled out in the bed or the floor and just relaxing and having a good time...The French Open became a bit of a show stealer but then the chat session in the evening on my terrace...with cool breeze blowing and the moon playing a peekaboo...it was awesome to sit around with friends...chatting,playing games and analyzing each other....time slipped away silently and soon one by one everyone left and i was still filled with this relief and with excitement...i would get my mirror image...sweet,cute,eccentric,talented and very charming...thats my pal ipsy for you...my only regret was that i was extremely tired and sleepy after the days preparation and excitement...despite that we spoke non-stop for ages at night and at almost 4am when we retired to bed...we had a jaws aching for talking 19 to a dozen but...still so many things unsaid...and time not being very favorable to us...as i had office today...but we swore these late night chats will continue and so will the sleep overs...and i am sure with ipsy now there...life will still be a bumpy ride that it is but it will be far more fun than it was before.....