Thursday, June 28, 2007

Moon kissed roof-top!

starry starry sailing by...the breeze blows my hair over my face i tuck it behind my ears and gaze,what seemed like eternity,sky wards..i lie on the roof top mesmerized by the beauty of the night bathed in the moonlight...what more i had my best pal beside me gazing too and sharing some amazing fantasies,dreams and desires...we became people belonging to an Utopian world..far away from this materialistic world full of its politics,diplomacy,conspiracies and bitching..together we weaved a cocoon of magic and fantasy around us...churning out series of theories and observation and an ethereal feeling....talks never seemed to end..stories were narrated and were re told...moments good and bad...happy and sad was shared and treasured...even the silences spoke volumes and was comfortable....dreams suddenly sprouted wings and seemed to fly away...even sky wasnt the limit...there was heady feeling of happiness despite the gloom...the smile for absolutely no reason at all...yearning for the beloved yet there was the comfort of his voice and there was the endless mesmerizing gaze...all added on to become a totally wholesome nutritious food for the soul which seemed to have gotten a lease a new life to it...this safe haven of my pal[ipsy] went on to become my favorite place on earth where even dying doesnt seem like a depressing thought...where if one goes one wants to live to experience and to feel the beauty of nature and be one with it...where magic is not just about harry potter or hogwarts..but a feeling of completeness and satisfaction without any particular reason at times like this one realizes how lucky one is to live and witness such beauty in its starkness and the boon of having a close friend and your perfect soul mate in life...people whom you value the most in live and who understands even without saying,completes the unfinished sentences and accepts you for what you stand up for... likes you for everything you are and everything you are not...roof-top fun will always be special to me....for everything that it was symbolic for..

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Full Circle

its amazing how time flies...last year at this time i was paranoid as to where i would be..which college and studying what...but in this span of one year i have taken up a subject which i knew nothing of..but then i went and fell in love with it and without any regrets :) ..met some amazing friends..and had a fantastic college one of the best institution not only in the city but also the country and life has been a bliss...funny how until a year back i knew not where i would land up in adjustments..newer friends and a whole new beginning..

the other day we had the entrance exam of our department,where i was volunteering and i met scores of anxious parents and nervous students who are desperately hoping to get many fears and worries they had with hopeful dreams...i must have had the same dazed look on my face too..seems like yesterday we entered college and suddenly we are the seniors...ragging will soon happen :) that reminds soon as Khyati comes from Baroda the planning must start,we have some tricks up our sleeves...hehehe..

its so depressing to think that one year has gone by and just 2 more to go...and soon the 15 of us [our group] will have to split....but one thing for sure...if in just 1 year we can have that much fun i fear to think what will happen in the next 2 years...heheh what with lunatics like Shiladitya,Souro and Saurav...sensitive souls-Abhi,Tania and Ria...pranksters like Khyati,Sneha and Krittika,intellectual Antareep,Rohit and Nimisha;musical Varun and of course my twin will never be colourless or monotonous with them around...may the freshers too find the bliss in friendship and college life like we have...cheers!! :)

Friday, June 22, 2007

A walk in the rain

Storm clouds darken the sky

Soon it began to pour

I let the raindrops soak me

Head to toe

I let the rain purge me soul

And make my spirits soar

I submit myself

To the mercy of the rain gods

I skip the puddles and

Jump the ditches and walk along

With a spring in each step

Feeling happy within.

The worries seem to have lifted

Even if momentarily

Pain has been drowned

And tears washed away…

My heart sang a different tune

Eyes sparkled and spirit danced away

As rain water dripped from my face

And drenched me all the way…

Monday, June 18, 2007

Recent Events

Today is by far the best Monday ever..despite the Monday morning blues...there was probably a spring in my step from the moment i hopped out of bed,to get ready for office...scratching your head in bewilderment???well i put forward my in formal resignation in my office to my manager [who thinks it is a leave notice and i didn't bother to rectify her :D ...poor soul when she finds out...hehehe serves her right for being such a pain in the A$$] moreover i got another tuition today,pay is good and so is the subject i will be teaching.with another one in my kitty probably i will be well off.since samik is having work from 3pm -12am the duration and time to speak will be less and random and meeting is well...out of the question...what with college reopening soon talking in the morning too,wont be possible..i will have to make do with late night chats and weekend meetings..but i am not least he is here in the same city.

Despite giving in my notice to a thankless job today i ll probably miss working with rohit and other new friends i have made there..the frequent coffee making sessions and the trillion calls to friends and relatives from office friends now are tuned in to my urgent whispers and emphatic voice over the phone calling insisting that they talk,while i pretended to be on a call,what with my manager hovering around..probably this job has instilled some amount of confidence in me to face unknown people and conquer the fear of unknown....yesterday i went to Big Bazaar to get some supplies,where i stopped at the mobile counter to check out the cells as i am planning to buy a new this person behind me was accompanied with a friend and merrily they passed a comment on us...out of the blue very unlike me i found myself turning back and asking "have you got anything to say?if then ask directly instead of passing snide comments!" this took them unawares and me as well...samik turned and took my side...there was almost a scene with the men having being caught in action and despite being guilty their behavior was extremely rude,spoke of the lowly the end they were asked to leave and we moved on our way ..the fact remains " i protested!" something i would never have done before...but i found courage to raise my voice against the job taught me that and for that i will be forever grateful!maybe there will no longer be those free phone calls to friends and family,the chats in office pantry,making charts or gossiping...but the freedom of my spirit and my creativity will be back...its celebration time...Liberation at last!

here's to freedom.....cheers!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2007


This post is about Samik...well my initial fear of leading a life apart from samik,when his job required him to leave Kolkata has been put to ease...finally after thinking over a lot of good offers that took him out of the city he has finally settled down for HSBC and he is gonna be in the city ...HURRAY!!!!

I cant express just how relived and happy i am....i still cant believe he ll be with me in the same city...past year i was worried sick that he would have to leave...but now...the feeling si just soo liberating...its not sure if his placement will be here though...after his initial training session here he may be placed elsewhere but who cares??next 6 months at least he is here...and i am keeping my fingers crossed for his stay here is a permanent one...

last few months all we both did was fight...on small or BIG seemed that 5 1/2 days in a week we fought...everything seemed to down seemed as though the rough patch would last forever but thankfully its not so [touch wood] basically since he has joined his job he is much more caring and affectionate and ahem i too have undergone a huge change....probably we both have realized what could have happened and what didn't..and we value the opportunity of being together that has been giving together...

yesterday a friend of mine was shooting for this small film of his and i was a part so i went over to the place where we were supposed to shoot,basically we got over at 4.30 and samik would get over at somehow he called me [he had sneaked his phone into his pocket while he was supposed to keep it in his locker and he spoke to me]hurriedly we made plans to meet up.I dont know why,but,I JUST HAD TO MEET HIM.i stayed back and killed time for about 2 hrs and then got drenched in the rain and boarded a massively crowded bus with people breathing down my neck but in the end i met him..and it was all worth it...its like the initial desperation to meet each other was back...and the love had us in its grip again...and it felt damn good just being together and holding hands.....

i just have to mention here that samik looked absolutely amazing in formals...shirt and trousers with his office tag...stunning is just appropriate...and for what was probably the first time i felt really proud to be with him...i couldn't just take my eyes off him..and the flutter in my heart was back :) moreover the fuzzy feeling within us make it all the more difficult for us to part when my bus finally came....all day today we were making excuses to talk and we did...we were on and off the phone and finally meeting him this evening was the ultimate bliss...the walk in the rain hand in hand and the look of over flowing happiness and love in his eyes, reflected in mine and now several hours after meeting each other the effect hasn't worn off...

probably this is love which its ups and downs...

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

And then the rain came pouring down

The atmosphere was hot and humid; it seemed that not one drop of perspiration could get soaked. There was this heaviness in the air; everything was still as if something would happen. Not one leaf moved, not a bird was to be seen. as drivers sweated it out behind the wheels, waiting for the signal to turn green; somewhere unnoticed millions of red ants made their way, in symmetrical lines, scurrying to seek refuge and stock the food they were carrying.[they say ants signify rain]I look up and pray to the sky God to answer my prayers and send rain pouring down, washing and cleansing and giving respite to all suffering the heat attack. We have had quite a few false hope of rain…and then we were denied but this time I hoped beyond hope that it does “pour” and not rain. No amounts of juice, water, cold drink could quench the thirst or put the heat down. Humidity level plummeted as the storm clouds darkened the sky….. Promised rain???

“and then the rain came pouring down” in big, huge drops and then in almost torrents bringing respite to all. despite carrying several packages, my bag, books and stationary and being in a very awkward situation: I threw caution away and walked [I could have taken a rickshaw but I preferred to walk] home. Those 20 minutes may not have been the most comfortable of times but then it has been extremely satisfying, happy, and a purging experience for me.

Suddenly I felt tears pricking my eye and then it trickled its way down. the rain prevented others from viewing it, I realized it was just like old times… walking in the rain crying but then it wasn’t old times…the tears in my eye wasn’t of pain or anguish like before but were tears of happiness and peace…it felt as if rain washed my worries and grief of the last few days away…the awful feeling that I would have another day at office the next day or, the several other problems that keep nagging my mind….it felt good to let my frustration and fatigue being purged…moreover it felt nice to let the un-cried tears trickle down…with every gulp of the fresh air I felt rejuvenated …it felt like I was walking upon the air…it felt damn good to forget about everything but the numbing effect of rain on my face…. Disregarding the sneers and leaching on the streets and the reprimanding looks from elderly people seeing a young girl walking home in the rain instead of taking shelter somewhere….it felt amazing…rain never felt this good….maybe the only other time I had this enjoyable time was when I was in class 5 or 6 when all my friends in the locality met up in this garden of this house where we usually played….that too in out night clothes just to get drenched together first thing in the morning in the first showers of the year that heralded the monsoons…those were some fun…and now that I am all grown up.. hmm ok not so much in fact but quite a bit I haven’t lost the ability to enjoy these finer points in life… rain and the smell of wet earth brings back wealth of memories of my innocent childhood and friends who are now scattered and lost in their busy lives but frozen in my memories when we used to huddle together and play cricket….the house with the garden: our childhood hangout and play ground has now been broken down and in its place stands a tall and handsome multistoried building yet the memories stay…

Two lines of this popular Hindi song comes to my mind now….

Nagme hain,shikve hain,kisse hain batein hain
Batein bhul jati hain yadein yaad ati hai..
Yeh yaiein kissi dil o janam kay
Chale janey ke baad ati hain…
Yeh yadein…yadein.

One forgets the words that has been said

One forgets the pain or the song
That has once being sung
But what remain forever are the memories
And these memories come back
When your beloved is not near
Memories… memories…

Lost in nostalgia and the safe haven of my thoughts….unknown its morning once again…. Mom just brought me my morning coffee…feels wonderful actually to let my mind weave a cocoon of memory and of feelings; which even for a few moments lets you escape to a utopian world… since its still pouring hard maybe I’ll just give office a miss today. HURRAY! It would really be a crime to work on such a beautiful day…in any case I had lots of work…first meeting samik for coffee and then ipsy for shopping…god..i really need rest now

Have a wonderful day ahead!

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Social Menace

.I usually take the metro to work....i have been traveling in it since i was a mere school girl....i always thought metro was one of the only modes of transport where people are a tad bit more decent than anywhere else....but i had my major shock when i realized how much the world has come to change and that the concept of personal hygiene has gone for a toss and so has the code of conduct on the streets.......once i punched the ticket and came out to the part of the city that was the business hub...where people are always busy...scurrying towards their destination...stopping to grab a bite...meeting business associates and conducting business meetings.....if i thought metro had people not well behaved then what i saw later was even worse....what surprises me that nowadays people stare unabashedly at ladies and that too very specifically...i had read somewhere that whenever someone is acting fresh with you one just should make an eye contact...catching a guy doing wrong or making eye contact doesn't work...guys seem to think its their moral right to leach....they i guess hope and pray that they come near the ladies so that they can shove and grope their way...and once caught they have a nerve to look surprised.....

well walking out of the metro station i make my way towards the busy streets...nooks and corners..walls and drains....people [guys] are at their best: p**ing...i refuse to believe the public loos are not there ...government has created such places for people to use not just for show...yet guys choose to destroy walls and moreover public property.....they seem to have no shame that others are seeing what should have been an extremely private affair......scratching their crotch to fixing their underwear on the streets they do it all...that too without a care in the world....buying so called mouth fresheners from the vendor round the corner...people chew like cows at work but when it comes to dispose the rappers of what they have eaten...well i guess they think roads are apt place to honor....and as for the spit??well just chuck it anywhere you please...from the window of the bus...or while walking on the streets or even corners of elevators...who cares if it lands on people walking around...and when it actually does pick a fight to show what a man you are.......feelings very bold??want to show your girl friend how committed you are??why not take her out to visit some monument in the city and when no one is looking why not scribble your and your beloved's name on the pillars and walls...i say why not do something constructive instead...write a poem or paint something....there must be trillion ways to show your feelings and not destroying public property like that....crowded bus...people are packed like a can of are feeling a bit naughty and wicked...why don't play with that school girl who seems distracted and an apt prey since she wouldn't say just go over..stand behind her...try and caress her...use her to fulfill your cheap thrills....disregard the fact that this incident may scar her for life....forget that someday when you have a child she may go through the very same thing from another man....i wonder how men being raised by mothers and sisters themselves stoop to such perversion to just satisfy their silly whims...

You get up on a bus...a seat is tell the [fat]lady sprawled beside you to shift in order to allow you to sit..she pretends to move but nothing as such happens....somehow you squeeze in and sit...rather uncomfortably.....what harm would it have done the other lady to shift just a little to allow you to sit well..after all you both are paying for the ticket....and you thought only men can be mean.....worse still... there will be these all kinds of ladies either sitting beside you or standing just in front of you...and with every turn that the bus takes she swings almost on top of you...and the odour emitting from her...arrrrrrrrggggggghhh!! could strangle you to death.....the moment you take out your wallet to pay the ticket collector....all eyes are on your had kept aside your last 10 rupees note to take a rickshaw home and you give the conductor a 50 bucks to get the change..immediately the lady with her eyes in your wallet will point out that indeed you have a 10 bucks to spare.ufffff!!!then there are ladies who get up on the bus and demand the seats to be given for most absurd reasons,others just dump their load on you on top of your stuff [however much that is :(] and expect you to carry them for her since you have managed a seat and she hasn't...moreover when an old lady boards the bus,no one bothers to give her a seat to sit...and when a young girl offers her seat to her...people glare at her as if it was a sin that she has committed.......

the list of social menace goes on and on and to write down exactly what the social scenario is like now,is a colossal task.........and truly speaking it is quite degrading to even mention them....i wonder why people are so careless and ignorant and moreover selfish...if ones needs and desires are fulfilled them he/she stops caring for others...people forget that society and its people have a symbiotic relationship with one another and one cannot exist without the other and thus its important to do our bit to keep the place we live in and its people in proper and let live...and if that is not possible then don't make it tough for others to survive...

P.S this is not written to degrade any gender/people/country just my feeble attempt to make people sit up and realize the things they are doing that they shouldn't...its my protest against the degeneration of values,social codes of conduct and personal hygiene.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


Today was the first paid day at my office....last few days was just training....there was this impending gloom working within me...i just did not want to work....i had a good mind to just quit and mop on my near penury... ok!! not penury but then not very affluent either....i know that doing tuitions isn't as lucrative as working, just 1 month in my current office so reluctantly;chiding myself from the moment my eyes blinked open i prepared for the onslaught..the torture that "an un-enjoyable thankless job" entails but then it is this same job that will bring stability to my life and my expenses so i shouldn't be complaining....

I had an early morning shift and so i got out of home earlier than usual... as i sat on the bench in the metro station waiting for my training...i saw tens...hundreds or probably thousands all gearing up for another grueling day at their respective job....all are scurrying towards their work fill their provide their families the luxuries and 4 square meals a day.....despite their likings or in fact disliking they are out...struggling hard to go work so that their families are well off.....i felt ashamed...i was working just to take a bit of my dad's burden off...instead of asking for maybe a bit more pocket money i am fending for myself [i get a moderate pocket money]..suddenly my reason to work seem too small and too in consequent...and probably meaningless...that lifted my gloom to a great extent....

After endless phone calls....few banged the phone without listening and few were cordial..finally it was a relief when it was 2pm and my shift was over...moreover tomorrow is the casual wear day...hurray!!!its a pain to wear formals to work...what with salwars and elaborate dupattas [part of our attire]thankfully i can just slip on a jeans and a tee team it up with floaters/sneakers [thats the way i am usually :)] i really pity the professionals and senior management people or people from the hospitality industry who always have to wear prim and proper official clothes to their work station..despite the comfort....the only other comfort for me in office is the ac and the tea/coffee machine [ does wonders to my almost always hungry tummy which is on diet....]

finally the storm clouds that were brewing the last few days are now threatening to spill and its really wonderful to sit by the window and let my thoughts take flight and records the days happenings as my fingers punch furiously on the keypad....we sure need a heavy downpour to wash away the grime and heat of the last few days...what with the mercury rising and the humidity going up another notch..phew!!! we need torrential drown out my gloom to fill my senses with the smell of the wet wet earth..tiny droplets of rains breeze into my room...making my glasses hazy....yet the feel of the cool breeze on my skin is like a balm that does away with all worries and cares of the world....all i want now is to dance upon air and let the rain soak me head to toe and let my spirits fly!!!

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

cheeni kum

Fibbed to my manager and bunked office and went to see cheeni kum with samik today....basically its a feel good movie with a perfect belnd of humour and reality check thrown in....a mature romance between tangri kabab [Tabu/Meena] 34,single and ghass phuss[Amitabh Bacchan/Buddhadev]64,arrogant chef and definitely single.....what most struck me was the chemistry between Big B and Tabu....its funny how a Hydrabadi briyani can bring two people close and make an arrogant chef much more mellow......the special appearance by baby swini was really fantastic as "sexy"...with her bossy and demanding ways,Zohra Segal was wonderful too even at this age....all in all quite entertaining....Paresh Rawal was good with his comic timings...towards the end the climax seemed to dron on and on....despite that...witty one liners...subtle streaks of humor and a perfect combination of seasoned actors...for an entertaining watch...

Saturday, June 02, 2007

a song for my beloved!

summer heat and winter chills
monsoon rains and falling leaves
we have witnessed it all
and we are together still
as years and months
came and passed by

hurdles we have crossed
stood the test of time
tyrannizes of fate
and conspiracies of mankind
we have endured it all
and we are together still

troubled times brought alone
pain,unhappiness and anguish
tears flowed and heart bled
misunderstanding ruled
we cried together ,as pain
brought us closer still

being blessed by our parents
and sharing those happy moments
smiles an joy filled nights
and those beautiful days
love binded us closer still

heaven and earth seems to say
as stars and fate
confirm their acceptance
and now its official
"WE" are here to stay!

may the years and months
quickly come and go by
and despite the discords
together we stay
united and very much in love
which grows by the day...

today is the day that the angel of love had visited me almost three years back
Happy birthday samik
and Happy Anniversary to us!

Friday, June 01, 2007


people say it is once in a million chances or maybe even more that you meet the person identical to you....but i say if you are damn lucky the person just sails into your life as if its the most,perfectly natural thing to do so....this is a special post about this person who has come to mean quite a bit in the last few days....and in no time at all i have realized that we are in fact mirror far as memory permits we didn't have a formal introduction or ice breaking...we spoke out of the blue as if that was so expected out of us...and as if we had always known each other...all this while..almost one year into college and now we have come close..i wonder how we survived all this time apart...its really uncanny that we complete each others sentences,we have the same choices...likes fact what i am going through in life she is going through now...and what she has experienced i am now...she is one of those people in front of whom i can talk without the fear of being judged or misjudged....we are so similar and yet so not similar...most of our thought process are in tune with one another and now we have given up on the fact that we can be any different so the amazement to discover yet a new thing that we both have in common is now a passe..can anyone meddle with the lady with the wheel,called fate?we wouldn't try would we??we are happy the way we are...two peas in a pod...mirror images...and maybe to some extent twins except i am well...weighty and she is reed![sauravs observation not mine though!:D]

yesterday i hosted one of our fabulous get together...after all this week we did have one...and all of us were dying to chill out....khyati came early to help...and we had loads of fun cooking..with ipsy looking on......others trooped in later and we sprawled out in the bed or the floor and just relaxing and having a good time...The French Open became a bit of a show stealer but then the chat session in the evening on my terrace...with cool breeze blowing and the moon playing a was awesome to sit around with friends...chatting,playing games and analyzing each other....time slipped away silently and soon one by one everyone left and i was still filled with this relief and with excitement...i would get my mirror image...sweet,cute,eccentric,talented and very charming...thats my pal ipsy for only regret was that i was extremely tired and sleepy after the days preparation and excitement...despite that we spoke non-stop for ages at night and at almost 4am when we retired to bed...we had a jaws aching for talking 19 to a dozen but...still so many things unsaid...and time not being very favorable to i had office today...but we swore these late night chats will continue and so will the sleep overs...and i am sure with ipsy now will still be a bumpy ride that it is but it will be far more fun than it was before.....