Tuesday, August 21, 2007
My First Crush!
I was taking a stroll down the lane just in front of my house when a flood of memories came back in a flash.Those childhood memories,games on the streets,squabbles with friends and my first crush.Just thinking back brought back a smile on my lips as a lone tears rolled down.Friends have long since gone but the memories are still there,fresh in my heart as if it was just yesterday.I had became nostalgic suddenly as childhood memories brought back pangs of first crush.
I was in class six.I was the eldest of my playmates and he was the owner of a hobby center in our lane.i had gone there to check my email and surf and he was there smiling at me.i cannot pin point how and when i had a crush on him but i guess his resemblance to Hrithik Roshan [ i have the hugest crush on him,even now :P] was one of the major reasons for me to flip over.One day I saw him rescue a kid from being crushed beneath a car and that cemented my crush for him.My best friend Neha for reasons best known to her fell for his best friend.it all seemed perfect.though they were almost 8-9 years older to us it dint deter us to feel for them.It was one hell of a time when we had to conceal our secret talks about "them" from Nehas nosy younger sisters and other friends.I used to spend hours on the veranda just to catch a glimpse of him lounging on his bike or talking to his subordinates.We used to play on the streets and Neha and i would lock gazes alerting each other when our significant "him" came into focus.Our crush lasted a long time almost 3-4 years and Neha's mom even gave us a pep talk about concentrating on our studies and how they weren't suitable for us,we were heading the wrong way.We both went through the pain and heart break when they didn't turn up for days or they dint glance at us.We knew nothing would ever materialize from this but we were so young and we mistook our first crush to be our first love.It was one painful ride but nonetheless very innocent and sweet.
What happened then??Well Neha discovered that her crush eat food at a really run down oily and stinky place which according to her was beneath her status and so her crush flew out of the window.And me?Well one day i was at a friends place in the neighborhood,they were my play mates too.they casually mentioned that the hunk [my crush,apparently all the girls in the locality fancied him] was married.gawd!!my heart squeezed the life out of me and i was shocked beyond expression then in one flash i remembered that indeed i had gone to his wedding years back and my dad had mentioned a few days back that he has a new born son.My world crumbled down and my crush was crushed.I was feeling so guilty for most silly reasons,now i think back.I cursed myself for liking a married guy with a kid.i cried on the short walk home.with my vision blurred i shrank behind a car and sat down on the pavement,thankfully Neha had seen me and came to talk,seeing me she had asked me what was wrong and i was too upset to even tell.She dragged me home and on the way i collided onto him and when i looked up, i saw him smile in acknowledgment and what could have been a real treat otherwise this time i ran until i came home and on my terrace where i confessed everything to my friend.Almost for a month i pined for him,avoiding him and forcing myself not to do the things,that i used to before,just to get one glimpse of him.Then an amazing thing happened it seemed that 4 years of crushing over him made him reciprocate my feelings but by then i had grown up.It was a nightmarish few months when the person i had had a crush on became the one person i feared the most.As he pursued me,confessed his feelings,and almost stalking me.But now when i look back i smile.those bittersweet memories now replace the pain and anguish with a smile.my first crush taught me to be selfless in love and inspired me to write my first poem.some days those were! :)