Sunday, August 26, 2007

Pending Birthday Blues!

There has been this silly fantasy in my head since as long as i can remember,dates way back in my childhood.It used to make life a lot better just seeing life that when i was a kid and I still resort to it sometimes.I used to pretend that i am narrating the stories of my life to a friend and what i am going through in life is a mere narration which may seem quite intense then but in actuality its a thing of the past. And now on the threshold on 2o i am still naive enough to cling onto this childhood fantasy for my dear life.

In a few more days i will turn 20 and its really hard to believe that i am finally turning "20",because when i analyze myself,a feeling of sheer adulthood strikes me.It was just a year back I was still in school.20 signifies a whole new world now.it means the silly,goofing around is now practically over and a little maturity is now called for,thankfully the process is in motion now.My birthday had always brought a wealth of pain.I have been the unhappiest on my birthday.lost old friends,with close ones forgetting it or me always falling i ll just before the day.But i would be lying if i say i don't look forward to it,i do but with a lot of apprehension.I hope this birthday too,I don't have to cry myself to sleep as always.I so long for a puppy,my ideal birthday gift.That is the one thing i miss in life,but i am also aware that i will never ever get one of my own! :( that is something i have to take in my stride like everything else.

Gawd!turning twenty makes me feel so important.there are loads of things that i had ear-marked to do before i turned twenty;like keeping long hair [which is in progress,earlier i used to have short cropped hair] ,to have a bank balance which i have and be more feminine which well..erm.. i'm trying...A lot of pressures will soon start building up as it is my mashis and kakimas [aunts]are dropping subtle hints,trying to kajol me into confiding in them if i have found someone appropriate to marry and settle down or even if i secretly admire someone.sheesh!!marriage is last thing on my mind.i cant see myself as a shy and demure bride.i' having nightmares about it!thankfully my parents are in no hurry to marry me off,though i admit mom keeps harping this new tune "you' ll leave home in a few years..will have to start planning!""mom get a life!"is all that i can say before blowing the top over.things are bubbling..god knows when they'll burst out and when it does it will be time to face some questions!boy growing up can have a downside too!lord save me,i'd rather be a child than grow up if it means so handling much pressure and responsibilities.

P.S-Tuned in to-I'm not a girl not yet a woman by Britney Spears.

8 comments:

Sunshine gal said...

how sweet...Don't worry..We will hv a nice time 4 sure....

starry nights said...

Now..is it birthday morning blues??dnt worry sweets...i can assure u that u'll hav a gr8 life even after turning 20.All d best.

Jeya Anand said...

wow...so u r turning 20...great ...when is ur bday?..anyway advance wishes...:)

And yes..20..thats an alarm for Moms to catch up Guyz for their daughters...thats what going on in my home now..to my sis...:)

annie said...

You leavin the teenhood…lotta struggle, hardwork ahead…hope u live up to ur own xpectations and extract the best outta life.

phoenix said...

@ipsy
:)

@samik
yeah i am sure

@jeya anand
its on 6th of september

@annie
aww how sweet!

Rashi said...

hey i am sure tht'll be another gud experience...watch out fr fun, learning, more life...gud luck

Keshi said...

aww ur just 20!!

Keshi.

khyati patel said...

20 huh???? i'll call u Raka didi from now!!!!! yeah......i am a year younger thn u!!!! we'll sure have fun baby!!!!!! oooooooooooops raka didi!!!