Thursday, August 16, 2007

Random ...

Today this classmate of mine did my cartomancy.well,for those who dont know what cartomancy is,it is like tarot except using plain cards.i was just curious and to my surprise he deduced something very accurate except that instead of the future he told me what i already knew and what was an ongoing process.

The verdict:i have leadership qualities but in excess which is not good.i am concerned about money and property.i am humble,down to earth and materialistic.this year i will be dreadfully sick.i will have an argument with someone and that this is a phase in my life where changes should take place.a good time for transformation.i should allow it to happen and not resist.i may be in denial about something.there is traveling.i am extremely focussed about my goals in life but i tend to waver.and i will have a blissful and stable marriage.

how i wish we could actually know the future,the world would be so much more different!alas!good and accurate deductions nonetheless.

In the past month I have truly evolved.learnt a few lessons and put it into applications unlike other times.and this transformation is a step towards what I would like to think as progress.There are changes within me which I would like to resist but I dont because I know somewhere i need to move on and thats the only way. have lost my smile somewhere and truly and honestly I am not happy,but neither am I unhappy.I hate my college,and my classmates.The only thing I desire and crave is solitude.I feel a bitterness within and i have no clue why.the resentment boils,churning up images and memories that turn my insides cold.A calm and blank expression adorns my face,my eyes are masqueraded and my lips are drawn into a firm line.a heaviness settled in my heart that refuses to just go.Am i becoming like them??Have they succeeded making me one of their own?

Yes,the process is tough and excruciatingly painful but there is a hope that says it wont be long till the sun peeks from behind the cloud.I just need to hold on to faith and hope for a better tomorrow. Positive vibes speads all over me,egging me to hold on.for,this phase will soon pass.I have no clue why this gloom or depression that resides within me or what am I depressed about??this whole thing is so complex that I often loose myself in my own thoughts.I still love life,I still enjoy the finer things in life,I still smile in my sleep and feel happy within but the bitterness is never far,nor is the heaviness in my heart.It comes back when i am around people I know and how at home I feel with strangers and my solitude.I guess this is some kind of a phase which will pass soon and until then I have to hold myself together.boy!growing up can be tough!

I am reading Paulo Coelho's By The River Piedra I Sat Down And Wept and its truly amazing!certain words are like a balm to my disturbed soul.More comforting than anything else.These are the few lines that has struck a note within me and i just cant seem to banish them from my thoughts,its that powerful.

Miracles occur all around us,signs from God shows us the way,angels plead to be heard,but we pay little attention to them because we have been taught that we must follow certain formulas and rules if we want to find God.We don't realize that God is wherever we allow Him/Her to enter.

People who are atheist may disbelief in the existence of God but there is a superior power who directs and channelizes our destiny,fools are those who think they can make their own destiny all on their own.one who submits to the greater power and devotes himself in his karma achieves his destiny.for once one realizes his goal,all of the universe conspires against him/her to see to the end.This is the way of life.Its there in our scriptures and we are constantly rediscovering these age old philosophies deeply embedded in our culture and even though written almost several thousand ages back it still hold relevance even till today.truly there is so much to learn and knowledge is vast like the ocean there is always enough for those who seek.

7 comments:

KAYLEE said...

AHHHHH I GOT VERY EMOTIONAL READING THAT!!!!!!!!!

aart hilal said...

Hello! This is really amazing book!
I'm a big Paulo Coelho's fan and I don't know if you heard about his blog
http://www.paulocoelhoblog.com
I've started as a fan and now I'm collaborating with him and thought that you would like to enter his universe.
Check the blog, if you want, or subscribe to his newsletter
http://www.warriorofthelight.com/engl/index.html
You'll see a community of warriors of light sharing ideas, dreams and most importantly following their personal legend.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"In order to arrive you must follow the signs. God inscribed on the world the path that each man must follow. It is just a matter of reading the inscription He wrote for you."

See u there and have a great day!
Aart

Keshi said...

**People who are atheist may disbelief in the existence of God but there is a superior power who directs and channelizes our destiny,fools are those who think they can make their own destiny all on their own.

I truly believe in that too. Well-said!

Hope u feel better soon sweeetz!

Keshi.

phoenix said...

@kaylee
awww *hugs*

@aart
thank you soo much for the links..they are amazing...

@keshi
gee thanks :)

starry nights said...

I wish we cud see our future and plan it dat way..bt life never is lik dat...n bout ur leadership qualities,i'm quite sure bout dat.
Very well written piece..

phoenix said...

@samik
:P

Jeya Anand said...

forseeing our future doesn't reflect good always...its our curiosity to know the unkown make us feel so..but it doesn't end good always...

And abt the phase u r going thru, actually i move in and out of the state intermittently within a week..once in a while it gets too much and at those times i would just feel like stopping everything..

Paulo Coelho is my favourite author...I had read that book too...He is an amazing thinker!! He has got his own way of thinking...My favourite is VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE...just love that work..If u have time, go thru it...
And I am reading The WITCH OF PORTOBELLO now!!:)