Thursday, September 13, 2007

Aging love !!??!!

Those who already know me,know that i am dating samik for the last 3 years now.1 and a half year during finishing school and another 1 and half year into college.well our relationship has gone through several phases, i am counting out the fights and almost-beak up phases,just that i ll dwell on the happier moments.well when we both started out i was in school and he was already into college [he is 3 years older to me]then i was a bit scared and apprehensive about a commitment.moreover i had my board exams coming up and being brought up in an all girls school,i never really interacted with boys at all.

Those days i used to meet samik twice a month[i don't know how we survived it!].1 whole week he would persuade me to come out and another week i would decide if i really wanted.there was a lot of pressures at home, my deadline was 8pm and due to immense heat of the summers we couldn't go out before 5.30pm.travelling to a coffee shop took time and in whatever time that was left we barely spoke or even looked at one another.even though we didn't meet that often we used to talk a lot.i had a connection that allowed me to make calls to any phone in that network for free,so we used to talk for almost 16 hours every day.obviously i got my first cell because i wanted to talk to him.but then i had to manage studies as well.first of all board exams and then if my results were bad then my parents would never leave any stone unturned to tell me how romancing has harmed my academics.so i used to sleep for 4 hours talk for 16 hrs on the phone and rest i would study.some days those were!

Then came tension of getting admissions.i admit after my board exams we used to meet up a lot.once my dad was out of town for 4 days and we took advantage of it to the fullest.i persuaded my mom that i ll be out and a bit late.unfortunately the rain played spoilsport.Kolkata was flooded and there was no transport to travel.yet i rolled my jeans,with my sandal's in one hand and an umbrella in the other,and i waded through the water to meet samik.then came the decision if i have to leave the town or be there i got through two good colleges and one outside the town.thankfully i choose the one,the very best JU.its half way from his and place so we thought we could meet up often.but then he was in the 4th year in engineering and i was in my 1st yr.how hard can it be to have a boy friend from outside college???hmm....mmm...VERY TOUGH!while everyone are sneaking an hour here and there with their loved one,the single and likes of me are left staring into space and longing to share the same close proximity.

And now after the initial fear of him moving out of town.he is here in the same town but we might as well stay million miles apart.he has office and i have college 5 days a week.all week we miss each other but when it comes to the weekend, we do meet but we are mentally and emotionally drained.where earlier we used to have a 'conversation' now we just exchange pleasantries.where we used to talk for hours altogether now we talk hardly 30 minutes day.he comes back from office and calls me at 11pm by then i am too tired and almost asleep.i wake up at 7am study,check mails and blog and rush off to college, and i am in my class my 11am,he wakes up and tries calling but then i cant really talk.

we cant stay without each other and are very much in love,we still understand each other without saying a word but i guess its a case of aging with time,where with time not only do we age but love to undergoes changes.the magic lasts in the initial few years of courtship and later becomes more of companionship.we both know that despite million discords we ll bounce back and end up i life together probably that's why we have no fear in life.we are going with the flow.but somewhere deep down i miss the fun and magic of initial dating.i realize and understand that there is no other alternative to this kind of life and it is bound to get difficult when i move out for my higher studies but i cant help wishing that love would stop aging with time and life would not silently seep into monotony.i miss being "deliriously" in love!

14 comments:

Bla said...

Long relationships are very delicate issue. Very complex, too. Maybe because it's all about people and people ain't simple.

Sunshine gal said...

"What you call Monotony is actually Stability for the relationship"
Whoever had said this, was very right...:P

KAYLEE said...

WISH YOU 2 the best:)

Abhishek Khanna said...

everyone goes thru this phase of life.. in some cases its like college n office so no time.. in other its like office n office so no time

Drama Div@ said...

"It seems much easier to fall into love than to stay in love." - cant remember :P.

i thought absence makes the heart grow fonder... well, obviously when someone you care for is away, you miss that person and think about them often, and that feeling makes you want to be with them even more. Less fighting, for sure...

In reality, if it's true love, it will not fade.... you can't see it, it still remains to be there.

starry nights said...

true love never dies..
although i admit that our tough shedules r takin a toll on us but i really believe that we can get thru this phase and be together.all d best 4 us!!!

Ashu said...

Survive this phase. It would make you stronger. Trust me. Its a grt feeling that you have your guy with you despite all ups and downs.

Not all r lucky in this sense. Work out the relationship. It needs nurturing....

And you are mature enough to do it. Aint u ?

Qurrat said...

awwwwwwww...

phoenix said...

@bla
true

@ipsy
:P

@kaylee
thank you

@abhishek
maybe

@drama diva
less fight??wel...hmm...naaaaah

@samik
mwuaaaah

@ashu
this is not an issue ...just a lamentation or longing for what had been

@qurrat
:)

Drama Div@ said...

really?

annie said...

Gurl you blessed to have Samik around you..who is so far yet makes u feel so near even though you might not catch up with each other often.

Every relation goes thru this phase that you talkin about..Just fo that extra bit to keep the spark alive.

KAYLEE said...

:)

Ashu said...

There are always phases in relationship. few phases spur you up, few leave you with question marks and few are devastating. the effect of spurring phases should outdo the other.

In short, keep the passion alive in your relationship and dont let the montonity of the routine life destroy the tender love.

All da best!!!

phoenix said...

@DRAMA DIVE
yeah really :)

@annie
i guess you are right!

@ashu
i understand!