Saturday, December 15, 2007

Daddy's girl

last night as lay trying to get some sleep,an unknown feeling gripped me almost strangulating me.totally restless and panicked i managed to gulp down some water to calm myself.i have never traveled alone that too in an unknown city.i have been away from mom dad but never this far.my trip maybe of just 5 days but so many hundred miles away from home and family weighed down upon me like anything.i tried to reason myself, that i would eventually have to leave in a year and half's time for my post grads and then it would not be a matter of five days or an unknown land,it would be an adjustment i would have to endure and to get the feel of it,now is the time.

always hailed as my daddy's girl rather boy, this is the second time in my life that i am feeling so lost thinking that id be away from dad.the thought so destructive that i almost begged dad to cancel the trip and let me stay.packings have been done,i leave by 3 this afternoon and despite the excitement and the thrill i feel deja vu.i wonder how so many people do this every year, staying away from home and family.it must be tough na Mann?

so many things are planned,places to visit,people to meet shopping to do.it will be a whole new experience.there has been so many road blocks initially that i cant even believe that the day to leave has finally arrived.this trip is about to teach me a lot,but first of it it made me realize just how much i happen to love dad and how much my home and family means to me.i don't know if ever i will be able cut off the my umbilical cord with my home and family and move on with life,no matter how much i love samik this is just one thing now i feel i can never outgrow.my usually naughty niece too yesterday almost broke down saying that she would miss me and gave me strict instructions to behave myself and take care,she was going out of her way to be extra nice to me.the special treatment that i am receiving now due to my pending trip will one of the reasons why i will look forward to planning another one :P having said all that,as samik rightly said I'm a great planner and not a good executioner :( its fun to plan a trip but when it comes to move away from all things familiar i tend to step back a step.will miss you dad!:(

here's hoping the next few days are joyous and happy for everyone.have a fun weekend and miss me while im gone :P...cheerio!

16 comments:

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

i felt this way when i left siliguri for pune and even now if i dont get a call from papa at his usual time i panic...

you never really get used to it, but you learn to control it... after all, all that your doing it to make him proud and to be abble to look after them when they need you...

hugs and all the best

Pri said...

i understand wht u r goin thru...i used to feel the same while leaving for the hostel even though it was pretty much near by...jus the thought of staying away from family wud make me want to cry...:)
the distance wont hurt if u keep in mind that u r going to be back soon...
jus think its a hop skip jump away...and u wont realise how time will fly by...
all the best!
take care...:)

Abhishek Khanna said...

aao aao.. delhi is eager to welcome u :)

AVIANA said...

hmm..

i've never felt that feeling of not wanting to break the umbilical cord...i happily left the first chance i got...my parents held me under lock and key for the longest up to my adult years....


yea i'm a great planner too...but i tend not to follow my plans...don't know why...

i actually wrote about this in a song...

u'll be good....your home will always be there so you don't have to miss it and think it will disappear forever...you know exactly where you left it...and it will wait for you with open arms...so don't feel sad be happy..

:)

Red Soul said...

imagine what happened to me when I left india for higher studies after 12th.... I missed my dad terrribly. Kills my heart to see that I wont be living with parents like I used to. coz of careers, or marriage... *hugs*

KAYLEE said...

TALK WHEN YOU GET BACK?

phoenix said...

@fire
yeah probably i never will!

@pri
the though of coming ack keeps me goin

@abhi
im in delhi pal!

@lisa
its amazing!

@red soul
*HUGS* god!thts terrifying

@kaylee
we ll talk this friday

^*^Clouds^*^ said...

My dad is a mariner and he has to stay out of the country for seven months at a time. This post made me cry. I really miss him. :(

Red Soul said...

ur email mail2raka is funny. I wud add u but gtalk doesnt work on this computer in college! :|

KAYLEE said...

okay :)

Sam said...

hmmm..... I seriously don't remember how i felt coz, it been a long time now.. nearly 7 years... for me going back home now means a tiring journey as the number days i getto stay is too low compared to the relatives i have to visit.... in fact, the last time my entry was totally hush-hush... so dat i cud visit ppl at my own convenience rather then them calling me up and asking to turn up ASAP... trust me wen u get to dat phase... u'll feel like running away.. or hiding under the bed...
but then, it really feels good to be back home!! :)

divya said...

i still feel this way after years of living away from home..i still miss ma papa and the warmth i called home...have a nice trip though!!

Abhishek Khanna said...

ek fone to kar dia hota :O

rOhit said...

ahh.. seems I've missed ALOT here, while i was lost in transition. :)

panu said...

Its hard when this thing happens.. I tried to get away from the family, but they are sort of like chocolate cake... You get a taste and you sneak in the middle of the night to get some more and end up being caught red-handed by the granny who's been sneaking up on you.

phoenix said...

@abhi
phone number hota toh nahi karti kya?silly

@panu
so true yea

@rohit
yeah kind of :)

@red soul
:X

@cloud
aww thats awful

@divya
had a nice trip thank you :)