Saturday, December 08, 2007

Rant

my honours paper ended yesterday.phew!something went absolutely wrong this semester,nothing worked out and i dint put half as much effort as i would have otherwise.all of a sudden i have become recluse and seem unapproachable to my friends??!! something really sweet happened yesterday during exams, Shila's [shiladitya] mother had had a bad fall and she broke her leg, due to which, he was unable to study.he had left out a topic which unfortunately came in both the options of one compulsory question that we had to answer and there was no way he could evade it for then he would surely get poor marks as he knew nothing about it.something happened to me.i came forward and told him, since i was sitting before him and i knew the topic i would show him my script.usually i help abhi[nandan] and shila[ditya]while preparations and not blatantly during exams.but this time i did not on someones request but on my own.and it felt great,and not just that when i received an sms from him saying how much he valued what i did for him and that it reminded him of our old times,those days when some 18 of us used to huddle together in my room just before exams to study but end up having a blast.

this semester changed quite a few things-friends,my attitude towards life and people and in more than one way,peoples attitude towards me.today i have not one person other than maybe Ipsy whom i really value or look forward to meet.yet somewhere i am there where i was.helping Shila wasn't a major sacrifice but the fact that i am fond of him and care if he doesn't fare well,despite the fact that last few months it seemed to me that he was distant and cold [maybe he too felt the same about me];i went ahead and was there when he required me.the semester is ending,just 3 more semesters to go for graduation,and when i leave JU i wont have any people left who would care for me and i for them.life is in a way strange,it is not mandatory that one would feel the same things that you do for them.i however will have no regrets once i step out of college someday,maybe things went wrong,friends awry but i have had the time of my life when the happiness was there to stay.it is when i will have a different world i will look back with a smile as nostalgia will grip me,that i will remember those beautiful moments of pure bliss,undiluted fun and the once enduring friendships that i had witnessed once.

9 comments:

Jeevy said...

my exams were disasterous too!
couldnt get any worse! I dont even know if i'll pass in any of the subjects! :(

peace & love
Jeevy

The Lover said...

nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect. You are always going to have ups and downs since no two persons are completely alike. Sometimes you have to enjoy the differences. But at the same time, when you start noticing things out of the ordinary, when you get hurt by even little wrongs that he/she does, when you start having doubts, it is a matter of concern. Because there is no effect without a cause. You wouldn't have been feeling that way if something hadn't been wrong. And in such a scenario, most people tend to feel guilty thinking they themselves are to blame. But more often than not, either the other person is at fault or the both of you. I am no one to judge your relationship. You know your sixth sense(and women have a much stronger one.) So you decide for yourself what it is, just a phase or your sixth sense telling you that something's wrong..

Love,
The Lover.

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

i agree with the lover... its always n d little things wn they begin 2 prick u...

hugs n love...

Sam said...

4 yrs of engg.. they change u.. for bttr or for worse.. u can never predict till u step out into the world!!

KAYLEE said...

GOOD TO HEAR huggggs!

KAYLEE said...

BUT ARE YOU OK?

phoenix said...

@jeevy
hey that makes us two of a kind!yay!

@lover
you have confused me :O

@fire
"hugs you back"

@sam
hehe so my bf says

@kaylee
yeah yeah i am fine

Neo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Lover said...

I don't want to confuse you or complicate matters...but since I don't know you personally, I cannot conclude what and how you are feeling. It is you who has to decide. Deep down you know what you have to do. if you were sure of a relationship, you wouldn't have been confused in the first place.