The search is on; my eyes look for it in faces of strangers, in some song that plays randomly in the radio, or in the lyrics of my favorite song. While traveling by the bus, while my mind flies away in quest of it. Like a blind I stagger, trying to locate the direction of the tweak of the twig beneath someone’s feet. It is the search which leaves me restless, ambitious even more after repeated defeats; the hope never deludes me, as I move on with life. At times I almost given in to despair but the strength within me brings the hope back on, I am surprised! I didn’t know that the strength existed? The feverish search notches up with each hurdle that come my way, the dissatisfaction leaves me barren it is then the touch, a mere caress on my folded hands or the gentlest of kisses on my eyes that calm me, but the search never ceases, it is in the very core of my existence and will always be.
The search, but for what or whom? Is it a person or a thing? I know not but I know I have to seek for it to come to me not before that. I am puzzled. The coherent thoughts blurs with the incoherent ones, sometimes it is too tangled to be segregated. Maybe it is the search for the peace, the perfect harmony of my and soul, the other half of my being, the last piece to complete the jigsaw of my life; the search is for the light that will illuminate my soul making my existence worthwhile. This illumination is talked by the Sufis and the Brahmans in Upanishads, they talk about spirituality. Being a product of 21st century; I am seasoned to believe a belief of a superior power [which I genuinely believe], ultimately to whom we are answerable, but it is not spirituality that I crave nor for the union with god! But I am in pursuit of that knowledge which knowing or unknowingly I have seeked from the very core of my childhood and the hunt will be on, until the knowledge dawns upon me.