Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Retrospection


I've been a little busy the last few days.actually been enjoying the peace and tranquility that i had the good fortune to experience.though there has been these times when my horizon has been clouded with an impending storm but then it got cleared away thankfully.i was reading somewhere that i should do what i desire and pursue it and success lies in this belief that i will achieve what i want to.and i let for a change possitive feelings take lead and to my wonder i saw a new morning dawn.we often whine and grumble about the unhappy times, and then when happiness comes knocking,we are too busy anticipating the next unhappy moment that we forget to enjoy the moment that is so blissful.for a change i let go of caution and let myself drown in hopeful dreams that may culminate into reality, and enjoy the bliss till it lasted.and lo!I'm at peace now and happy with myself.

I don't know what possessed me that i went for an audition for TVJ[television journalism] and miraculously i got through even to the final round but then i knew i sucked at it but in the end i did get through.it was not about winning,it was about conquering my fears and my inhibitions,which i did.the result is in me so like this other friend who got through before me, we both declined the offer.so what my eternal dream of getting a make over went down the drains.there are far more important things in life.i learnt that indeed being with friends you consider close is far more precious than winning some petty contest.


As the cool breeze ruffles my hair and the room is plunged into darkness withing nothing but moonlight to see the sleuths of objects in my room i let the lone tears seep through.the tear is not in lamentation,or in wishing 'what could have been' but in realization that time has changed it all and nothing will ever be the same and that people have indeed changed.sometimes i do let people bother me,their remarks strange chilling books or even their inconspicuous ignorant attitude but then i let my positivity wash over me.i know these people don't matter,when i walk out of JU they will remain but as memories and hopefully in life id never see them again.but then a solitary voice in my head says that it does not want to harbour memories made in sunny days which the rains had blurred and carry the carcass of dead friendships and a laments of 'what was but never will be...' the weight of memories and carcass of friends are too much carry forward, i wish this peace and tranquility that i experience now,despite so much of mayhem happening around me;may it prevail when i take a step away from JU,to leave all these people and the bittersweet memories behind,forever.

5 comments:

KAYLEE said...

wanna chat u ok?

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

memories arent half as bad ad regrets... make sure you dont carry any of them forward, because they wont just depress you, they also trap you in yourself...

Abhishek Khanna said...

times change .. people change.. things change.. but one thing which nvr change is you yourself..
chill .. aish kar.. tension nahi lene ka.. life is too short to worry :)

phoenix said...

@mann
yeah thats what i belive too...regrets are much more painful to carry on in life

@'abhi' 'shake'
wah beta mera dialogue mere ko hi? :P

little boxes said...

life goes on...dont worry :)
and what TV channel?