Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Hope and Disappointment

Have you ever encountered this? You have just typed out your next blog post, which you think is great and before you could even save it, the power goes and that is the end of your hardwork? And no matter what you do you can ever fixed it? Or you have made a perfect sand castle when a big wave washes it off? Sometimes we may not like it, but it is probably the best that we start over again. Cause with disappointment comes hope, hope to make it the next time.

We all face disappointments in life. Some maybe really trivial and some not. What probably is the worst kind is when your hope dashes and you are forcefully faced with the reality, something that does not care what its impact would be on you. But we have learned to stumble, fall and then dust the dirt and walk straight again, even though our hopes are bruises and battered, we move on. And that my dear is life.

What does one do when the thing one so loves is threatened by oblivion? What does one do for the one person he/ she claims to love dearly? The answer to all of this will probably be the same for all, to try and do anything that one possibly can to salvage the situation to prevent something beautiful to fall to its fate and stop the despair and gloom from clouding the loved one’s face.

She wakes up each morning thinking how best to salvage the problems she encountered in her personal life. For she knew until she did that she will be ill equipped to handle the challenges that lay out there for her. She found faults in the one she loved and tried to make him a better person because somewhere she believed that if he didn’t change things would happen to weaken the bonds that they shared. She hopes that someday he will mend his ways but he never does. People tell her, that you should love the person as they are and not to change the person according to you. So she tries to be a bit more tolerant and patient. Probably she realized that the love of her life was not a knight in shining armour at all, he would always be what he was. He probably was just another mortal who was otherwise kind and funny and immature and nothing like what she thought he would be, but nonetheless she happened to love him. So she tried and tried hard to calm herself and over critiquing nature and willed her relationship to reach a new height. Instead of finding a solution she tried to defer dealing with it because she could never discuss the problems she was facing nor could she ever come up with a suitable solution talking to the one person she so loved, who was once her best friend, who refused to believe that there was a problem.

Each time they had a problem the root cause was always the same. And each time she was asked for yet another chance by that person to turn over a new leaf. Each time she relented because she hoped that this time, this time things would work out. When one person who comes so close to loosing the person he claims to love, whom he had won over, after a tough fight; will do whatever it takes to resolve the situation. She raked her mind to come up with newer solutions, they work for sometime and then backfire, every single of it. She then tried to change herself to be less critical of him and try to rectify the mistakes she herself had. She rebuked myself and did whatever she could possibly do to make things work. But nothing ever did. Each time she made up her mind to walk away, she is told to trust him, to give him yet another chance, and each time she relents because she hopes against hope that someday things will work out. But in a day it always goes back to being what it is.

Why should she believe him anymore? In the end she is the one to suffer. Sometimes she wishes she could just walk away, without any guilt, being at peace with herself, thinking that she has put in her best and if things don’t work out maybe that is how it was intended to be. Maybe she deserved a better life. Disappointment of not making the relationship that she gave her heart and soul to work out, hurts much more one can imagine. But what disappointed her even more is that the person she so loved, could never keep up his end of his promise of trying hard to make this work. Maybe she was not worth it. Maybe there are things in life that are way beyond our control. And there are surely things that are not meant to be. So some day she must walk away, even though heart may wrench at the very thought, but she must do it. For ahead will lie a new hope of a better live. Where she will be given another chance to build her life from the ashes, she will get to turn her disappointments and failures into the pillars of her success. The journey ahead will not be easy on her, she will cry and breakdown at every now and then but in her despair she will find hope and putting her disappointments behind she will shrug and move on, not looking back at the wimp who couldn’t save the precious thing he had been given, because he lacked the strength to fight and the “hope” for a better future.

And like Kajol says in the movie- U,Me Aur Hum. “pyaar karney liye ek junoon zaroori hota hai, par usse nibhaney kay liye bhi ek junoon zaroori hota hai“ [ to love you need passion but to make the love last needs passion too] and that holds true for dreams and hope as well. Disappointment greets us in every walk of life but the trick is to have the strength in ourselves to walk away from it to begin afresh. And that is only possible if she have faith and more importantly we dare to hope.


Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

my mum always said that falling in love is easy. but staying in love is the hardest thing to do.

whatever it is, never lose the hope - because that is what makes the world go round - in yourself...

and we shall talk about this on the phone...

Abhishek Khanna said...

thts y blogger autosaves the post while u r writing.. if u evr ecnounter this thing again .. go check your drafts .. your post is save there.. :D

phoenix said...

hmm yeah we do im glad u got what i was trying to say :P

tum dumb kay dumb hi rahoge

vanilla sky said...

all i can say is that i cud agree n identify with your approach.

whatever it may be, hope it gets sorted out soon.