Monday, August 25, 2008


they say astrologer can read your palm and tell your future about you. they may not be the oracle telling things exactly as it will occur, but they can surely warn you of an impending thing, good or bad, and accordingly a remedy is given. my parents believe in astrology; somewhat. they don't refer to it like one would to as the word of god! but surely as something to be warned off and doing things to avoid it. but i am a 21st century girl, i refuse to believe anything said to be without a reason or logic. so when i was told to do certain things or wear gems i flatly refused; so if that meant that it will harm me i was prepared for it. but i guess things have change even if slightly once i was explained in a logical way of how the things work. I'm a mangalik but it doesn't effect me nor Samik, it cant help to know. but that doesn't mean from now on i will do things according to the auspicious time or without consulting my astrologer or vastuvid etc. but yeah to be warned and to look out if such things happen doesn't really hurt.

do you believe in palmistry or astrology?? would you be guided by kundali [horoscope]? what would be your take if the girl / guy you love is a mangalik*?

*mangalik is one who supposedly has a troubled personal life, his/her husband/wife dies early. so a mangalik is married off only to another mangalik. often the girl/guy is married off to a tree or shiva and then widowed to nullify the effect of mangalik on a non mangalik.

Saturday, August 23, 2008


Phew! What a great episode.!! finally relief! wonder what im talking about? well its the silly almost male chauvinistic youth oriented program called Splizvilla by MTV. its a show where 20 girls woo 2 guys, both ex roadies, and in the end two girls win and both get to host a show with the boys on MTV. well this was the format when Splitzvilla began, but then Raghu the much dreaded man, of roadies fame crops up and there comes a twist. one girl wins and she chooses one of the guys as the winner and they host the show together.. like as if that equals the sexist score but whateva .. :)

The girls bitched, some became good friends, some were kicked out and some were dumped. but all in all was fun. it was kinda fun to see the girls put so much effort into establishing a connection with the guys in order to gain favor. the post isn't really about how stupid i find this format, of two people liking each other on a reality show, which assumes that love is war and love is possible on a show with an entire nation watching and specially when prize money is involved. ludicrous!! but anyway... this isnt about such things...

What i liked about the show [yes i like it and i religiously watch it :P ] is this particular contestant Shraddha, she is nice and sweet and very loyal, you heard me correct that too in a reality show. its evident everyone played politics, did things to stay in the game but this one girl not only genuinely liked Vishal but also stuck by him throughout. and when the last dumping ground episode took place, the outcome was shocking, surprising and extremely fair! the boys had to write the name of the girl he wanted to secure, despite knowing a fate or decision had been planned and kept in an envelope. the deal was, if the guys disagreed then, the one out of the three contestant, whose name wasn't written will win. the shock came then. for known to all those who watch the show, Vishal liked Shraddha, Varun liked Heena, and Priyanca wasn't that popular to anyone, she was the bitch of the show! it was not surprising that, Vishal voted for Sharaddha. the look of glee on the face of Prianca would make anyone want to murder her or even hate her more, she knew she was the clear cut winner. but ho ho ho! Varun was smiling devilishly. for for what ever reasons, maybe another of his game plan, he voted for Shraddha too. so Shraddha won! and my my! i was soo happy because she was one girl who was truly genuine and never really played games except maybe once but that too for the guy she loved. and by what i hear, she and Vishal are now officially a couple and are inseparable[ for the show had been canned before] good luck lovebirds! and i do hope now Vishal wins because Varun's arrogance pisses me off, and Vishal's endearing ways and cute dimples makes me like him even more than when i used to see him as a roadie!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Childhood memories

A day off during the week [CITU has called a 24 hour nationwide bandth] is really hard to come by. since its a time off from regular monotony of life, i plan to do absolutely nothing, just let my thoughts sprout wings. its been raining all through the night and the morning too doesn't seem any different. a day like this always brings back memories. i had always wanted to grow up and had claimed that i wouldn't really regret it. i don't regret but the rapidity of my evolution really startles me! it is really unbelievable even to myself that i turn 21 in just a few more weeks, [16day :P] when did i grow up so fast? i keep asking myself. i can still see myself playing cricket with my friends on the road, with my long hair somehow knotted, in a tee and shorts. i remember how ma would get angry, thinking of all the children my daughter has to be unruly, there is not a single lady like manner in her. but hey that was me! climbing my walls, smashing window panes, running around and yelling, doing all the things that so called convent educated young ladies are not supposed to do.

i remember how i used to mastermind all great activities, from planning pajama parties to organizing Independence day function, to setting up of our headquarters, everything. it used to be so much fun. i think the poor residents of our lane must have prayed day in and day out hoping we would grow up, so as to have a good afternoon nap. i used to be an avid reader, so on my way home in a metro i would continuously read and even while ma fed me [she still does it :P] to save time. then run down immediately as the clock struck 4. at prompt 6 we would hear our mothers yell for us to get back home. with bruises and mud stains we would head straight to the washroom. even then the milk and biscuits just before study time seemed such a treat!. what i loved the best was, the first rain of the season. we would all huddle up in my terrace in our nightclothes and would have greatest time being soaked to the skin. i had not a care in the world. such wonderful times those were.

then i had my first crush and started noticing my uncouth and unruly nature. i washed and took care of my hair more consciously, skirts replaced shorts and to be looking presentable at all times seemed my very important prerogative. how angry and disgusted i used to feel because i didn't know how to be more ladylike. i remember i had attempted to put kajal for the first time and messed it up big time. for just one look of my crush id wait hours on end on the veranda. times have changed.

Druhin, my first friend on planet earth, [i know him from the time i was 2, we are friends from Montessori] exclaims how ladylike i have become, wearing distinct "girlie" clothes now, he hates me wearing kajal which now i am so adept at applying, and so very hates the fact i no longer resemble the tomboy that i used to be. but times change and so have i, but something that is hard to change is the memories. somehow even now the childhood memories seem so real and life like that i can almost see myself doing the things i once did but with a start i realize that i have moved ahead in time. what i wouldn't do if only for once i could go back in time and relive the moments, that are hard to come by.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Time is running out and I'm standing at a cross road. so many avenues lay ahead of me, that taking a decision, the right one seems to be really an unhill task. every step i take is marked with uncertainty and certain amount of risk. i don't know where i will land up in 10 months time but i sure hope things work out because one false step can jeopardize my entire life. what do i do? how do i know which is the best thing for me? confusion clouds my mind and muddles my sensibilities... what should i do in times like this? and what i the decision i take is not the right one? what next then?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The walls are closing in
Fear gnaws at my soul;
Darkness reigns.
My eyelids grow heavier
My back hurts,
I'm losing consciousness
The end seems near.
Hold on, but for how long?
Despair looms, close at hand.
The world threatens to crumble,
But the hope still remains;
Dreams live on,
For a new tomorrow
Will there be a new dawn?
Will golden sunshine illuminate my soul?
Will there be yellow butterflies
Filling my heart with happiness?
Will the warrior of light
Rescue me, from cruel reality
I know times will change
And happier times will reign again
The golden tomorrow awaits
If only I don't loose faith.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Dear Dada,

It is Rakhi again. There is so much I want to say to you, but I won’t, because it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m tired. I’m tired of missing you. I’m tired of hoping that things will change. I’m tired of waiting for you to rise above the petty differences that our parents share. I’m tired of our memories, which keeps reminding me that the reality is different now. I’m tired of explaining to you, that I love you. I’m tired of trying anymore.

My tears have run dry. My heart has turned into ice. I’m angry at myself, for I keep reaching out to you but you keep disappointing me. So I won’t do it anymore.

I won’t tell you to put aside the differences, anymore. I won’t tell you that I look up to you. I won’t tell you, that your cold attitude hurts me. I won’t plead to you to think things differently, because I love you and you are the only brother I have. I know you don’t care about me anymore. But I do, and will always. But I will no longer pine for you, and no longer wait in hope for you to change. Happy Raksha Bandhan!

Love always,

Your sister,


Friday, August 15, 2008

Independence Day!

The political partition of India caused one of the greatest human convulsions of history. partition shattered the myth of impartiality and neutrality. once the decision to divide the country had been taken everything had to be divided.

The statistics are staggering, 12 million people were displaced, 1 million died, 75,00 women were abducted and raped; families were divided; properties were plundered ad lost, homes were destroyed. in the public memory , the violence, disturbing realities that accompanied partition have remained blanketed in silence. and yet, in private, the voices of partition have never been stilled and its ramifications have not yet ended.

All this is past, HISTORY.

A new dawn awaits us, and it comes with new opportunity to write history the way we want to see it not the way it was intended for us. let us not let the bloody partition eclipse the freedom we have earned from the inhuman colonizers and destroy the fruits of freedom that we can enjoy now by nullifying the sacrifices done by the martyrs of our country, Hindu Muslim, both brothers.

Let us prove to the West what was known as the departing kick of the Imperialists, will not effect the sentiments shared by two halves of one whole. let the partition be a reality that defines the individual identity of separate nations but not of sentiments or of emotions. let us be one and celebrate Independence and not Partition. condemn communal rivalry, promote universal brotherhood!
Wishing all you Indians and my Pakistani friends a very;
Happy Independence Day!

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Forgive And Forget??!!

i can forgive but cant forget.

forgiveness comes naturally to me, a wrong done to me is readily forgiven but i can never seem to forget. so in a way the matter is not done and over with, the burden of being wronged carries on forth.

P.S- this post has nothing to do with anyone. it is a random thought.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

One thing that annoys me about people is their callous approach to life or things. Somehow I can deal with other flaws but however I can never come to terms with how a person deals with life in a nonchalant manner. They have this easygoing and laid back attitude. Often people will assume that world revolves around them and will function according to their own rules. For them it’s fine if they miss their flight, for their will catch the next one. If they have to submit a form somewhere, they will wait till the last day. They will stall doing a particular thing, which maybe of more importance than smoking up with their other friends. Its one big party, they are always up to some trick, even the most serious occasions seem funny to them, emotions seem trivial and maturity a fools burden of life. They may appear pleasing and almost entertaining to most, they maybe an obvious choice for frequenting or bonding but after a time they sure do get to you. Even their never-ending optimism makes you feel sick of them.

Maybe I am too much of a perfectionist here, but then life is so valuable, and to see people always taking it easy, bending a rule now and then, and doing their bit in their own sweet time not caring a bit of what others feel or do is something I consider somewhat illogical and extremely callous. Moreover, how can you always adopt this happy go lucky attitude towards things that may not be as trivial as you think they are? Optimism works wonders but sugary saccharine attitude frankly gets to me. I hate people who always have this attitude, as if life is one big joy ride.

Somehow I have always valued life; I have seen things and have always had a rather serious and matured way of looking at it and dealing with it. So when I see such people, I feel that they are a mere waste.

Call me demented or a moron. But one who hasn’t prioritized his/her life may be the flavor of the season, but soon after the joy ride is over, gets trashed and thrown out before he/she even knows it. So all those of the likes do -Review and reanalyze yourself!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Congratulations Mr Abhinav Bindra for making india proud by winning the gold in the
Men's shooting in the Beijing Olympic in the Men's 10 m air rifle.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Have you ever been bothered by things that are not directly related to you? i have. and i don't find a logic to it and never can i reason myself not to feel that way.

~it bothers when i read about the riots,massacre,mass plundering and dehumanization that took place before and after the partition of India

~ it angers me to see china try and make its presence felt in Indian air water and land,space.

~ it upsets me when i hear that India has not performed well in a particular sport

~it unnerves me to think that with more power,money and fame people are becoming more greedy and the world faces a threat of being wiped out

~it scares me to think of the world my children will be born into.

~i feel terrible to think of those innocent,who lost their lives and honour in the name of religion and terror.

~it shocks me to think in 21st century man still kills in the name of religion that does not endorse violence

~it depresses me how one, for his own selfish needs sacrifices the happiness and well being of millions.

~its traumatising to see that despite being the age os reason,logic and science,where other countries are flourishing, India still fails to do much for its people.

~it makes me despiar to think the system and anti-sytem both are corrupt beyond amendments and that we are left with no choices but choose among greater and lesser evils.

~it traumatizes me to see that we are raped of our fundamental rights and we are a mere drop into a vast ocean.our existence is of hardly any significance

~it grieves me, that there may not be a tomorrow someday, that all my dreams may remain just a dream.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


most will say this typical filmy dialogue- "ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi bansakte" [a girl and guy can never be friends] does this mean opposite gender attraction and sexuality ruins what invariably would have been a good friendship?

i however beg to differ, despite being brought up in an all girls convent school; and now when i study in a co-educational institutional college, i firmly believe that a girl and a guy can not just be friends but good friends at that. it is a popular notion that yin and yang makes a whole, this is applicable not only to a couple in love but in friendship too. i wonder why parents adopt this attitude towards their kids, where they tend to question the nature of their friendship when they see their daughter/son get too friendly with a friend of the opposite gender. and this is not just applicable to parents but other peers too. what makes people raise their eyebrow to friendship and so called categories of friendship?

does really attraction and sexuality ruins what could have been a great friendship? my answer would be yes and no. firstly, when two people find that they are very compatible as friends and enjoy life the fullest they tend to wander just a bit thinking that good friends can end up as good lovers too, sometimes it works out sometimes it don't. and then again sometimes two friends don't look at each other as anything more than friends. this is all too complicated isn't it? actually friendship means different things to different people. its relative. so how we approach it and how we want to deal with friends and friendship is entirely depends on each person, there is hardly any rule book to it, to each his own.

it is so weird to think, that with time a guy and a girl friendship find social acceptance on the other side same gender friends are often frowned at :P! what has the world come to really?! just imagine, my boy friend being petrified of not just me but of my girl pal, Ipsy; he knows that whatever he says or does will be reported in its actuality to Ipsy in full details. not just that he half suspects that I'm in a parallel relationship with her, i think Amartya da [Ipsy's bf] would agree too. i mean duh! cant i really tell things to my closest friend?? :) i have this other friend, S and we had become fast friends from day one of college, we had always been topic of discussion and speculation, if or not we are more than friends, we still are. but who cares really? good friends are really hard to come by and when they do one must cling onto them. many of my acquaintances find it hard to believe that i have found durable friendships in the world wide web; who cares ultimately the friendship counts, the medium is irrelevant. isn't it? virtual or real friends matter the most. we made friends and friendship should not be based gender or sexual orientation of the friendship, but the feelings that is shared should be most important.

Monday, August 04, 2008


Meet my new friend BRUNO he was gifted to me by Samik on Friendships Day.
ive always wanted a dog, even if Bruno is virtual, he is mine :D

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Wishing all my friends in bloggerville a very
Happy Friendships Day!!!!!!

Friday, August 01, 2008

i wonder if guys really appreciate and respect women. people say beauty lies within, one must look beyond physical beauty of a girl to know the real her. it is not just their inner qualities they should admire but also that they do what they are supposed to do, as prescribed by the society to look presentable no matter what.
have you [the guys] every wondered how you would feel if molten wax is poured all over your arms, feet, underarms and ahem ahem...special places; and then the hair being painfully yanked out?? well try it out sometime. i who has limited knowledge about this bikini wax or Brazilian bikini wax, heard its tremendously painful but why do we do it? because you guys need a fuzz free experience. how i hate you uncivilized creatures, who think its ok to have hair all over but their girl should be groomed and should look presentable [pretty] 24* 7 ... hmmph

you rather date the "babe" than the girl next door

you find the babe hot and interesting but you would never appreciate the girl next door for her warmth and simplicity. and often would tag her as 'boring' and 'not interesting enough'.

well it does take a lot from the girl to be the babe just so that people find her desirable. it is not easy for girls from both category to be the object of fancy and take the risk of being leached at. whether you wear a micro mini or a salwar guys have a way of mentally undressing you.

guys harp on how they work their ass off in office. most women do too despite doing through a lot of physical hardships. ever wondered how she does it??

PMS are such bother really but yet we manage fine and carry on our daily life despite having terrible body ache, irritable mood or in some drastic case nausea. we don't even get to take time off, or we get to hear from mommies and grannies, women before you have endured it from centuries, its not a big deal now get it done and over with, without a fuss. and if this wasn't enough there are loads of superstitions and do's and don't s during this time. and in some households they are being treated as an outcast during the time. no trips to the "puja place'" no touching the kitchen or wandering anywhere near it. what the dunderheads don't realize that is a natural phenomena so that we can someday reproduce our kids and fulfill the so called circle of life.

every guy wants a virgin wife. why is this such a huge emphasis on virginity? is it the purity of the body or the mind that the guy seeks??? and why is it an issue when consenting adults want to indulge themselves. does the guy ever have to answer if he is a virgin or not? then why only the girl?

moreover have you ever wondered how much it hurts a girl when she looses her virginity?or appreciate that she thinks you are that important that she can trust herself with you?

have you guys ever wondered just how complicated and how traumatic childbirth can be? just imagine your pubic area being cut wide out and a life size baby trying to push its way through a tiny hole to enter the world. the mother gives in the last ounce of energy, muscles clenching and fibers tearing to make way for the baby to make its presence felt. and then the umbilical chord that connects that baby is snipped off. and her pain and trauma doesn't end here. she is sewn back into place and stinging antiseptic is poured generously on sections of her which has only just recovered from child birth. and if this wasn't enough she is made to walk within a day or two of her delivery so as to make her return to normal life. then within 7 days she has to learn how to incorporate the child into her life, now she is not important but her child and her needs are. do take time out and read this

so next time a guy makes gender remarks think again!! we may not be competent in every field like you, we may not understand gadgets or play sports but we do what only we can. so next time try and appreciate and respect a lady for what she is before generalizing her. both men and women are like the ying yang, till the balance is maintained, harmony reigns but the moment one looks to assume more prominence and state their superiority the balance is lost forever.

P.S- i don't intend to put down guys in any which way, but, this post is for those guys who happily take a dig at women for sheer pleasure. this is to tell them women are people you would rather not mess with. im terribly sorry for writing so explicitly.


Unlike other countries, in India abortion is illegal. though there are laws which has certain sections abortion is actually permissible, that too only if the mothers life is in danger. in mumbai a recent case that has been making headlines is, about a certain Mr and Mrs mehta moving to high court to ask for permission to abort their child. what they are concerned is not the gender of the child, but that the child has been detected with a serious heart disease which is terminal.
there are many who say, that the parents are irresponsible, they don't deserveo be the parents if they are not prepared to have the baby. others say by permitting such a case people will use it to kill girl child and make infanticide legal. while others say abortion is a sin.
i too don't support abortion but in this case it is only fair. because every child wants to have a healthy life and parents too would wish the same. when this child grows up he would question his parents why they entrusted him with such a handicap life. he too would deserve a good life like other normal kids. maybe this doesn't sound fair. as if the handicap don't deserve equal opportunities but then rationally thinking wouldn't the child, rather it is just a foetus, a giant cell now; be better of without life rather than have such a burden to deal with throughout life? i mean lets think about the mother, it is not easy on her to take this decision specially this being her first child but to ensure her child and her life a better direction she is willing to do what it takes. what good will that motherhood do if she had the baby and treated it as an obligation and specially if she wouldn't be able to treat their child to the best of medication for the terminal disease which in itself is not curable? i don't know if i was the mother what i would have done, but surely if i felt i wouldn't be able to give my child my all then i wouldn't be bringing my love into this world at all, but this is hypothetical don't know if i will ever be able to do it in real life.
what do you think about this? do you think the government should allow abortions and devise a system to keep infanticide in check at the same time? do u think the mehta's are wrong?