Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Friend and Stranger

In the last 24 hours i have been hurt twice. it is not hurt as in tears and sadness...but a part of me felt wounded. for one, is one of my closest friend and the other is a girl i admire in class[ i don't share a friendship with her though] both in their attitude towards me have really made me feel that, people don't need a reason to be mean, and they care less how their attitude may hurt other people.

lets take my friend. well what she could have politely refused me, she chose instead of humiliating and insulting me, insinuating that i lack in morals and degraded me. it was not required. i simple "no" would have worked too. what good does it do to people to look down upon people on issues which they themselves can be tarnished. but hey! im not saying a thing, because it is not an appropriate thing to do. i hope it does her good that she being a close friend has hurt me.

now for this stranger. well, she is one of the most sorted girls i had come across. we have never been friends and now maybe never will be. i admired her for all that she stood up for; and thought her to be a genuine person. the other day, i thought we connected well, as we spoke on some issues; and for once i felt it doesn't need a friend to have a good conversation, i think i liked her even more. but no! she too turned out to be like the rest, who mocked me because of the fact, that we had a conversation when she clearly didn't want to participate in it and wanted to be left alone; contrarily i remember distinctly that i had asked her if i should indeed leave her alone but she said it was fine and she in fact asked me various questions, gave me her views... how can people be so dual? why cant they be transparent in what they do and want?

If i don't want a thing or a person i make no bones about it. i don't know what is happening to people. probably this is how people are, they lash out at others and not resolve things politely and others use politeness to fend off people and then bitch about them... some people.....

19 comments:

Keshi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Keshi said...

Politeness is a very rare virtue these days.


**how can people be so dual

Alot of ppl r like that. Sadly. I hv seen it in Blogville too. I guess its a survival tactic some ppl use. When they dun hv a unique identity for themselves.


*HUGZ* u hv me as a friend! :)


Keshi.

phoenix said...

@keshi
im counting on you :)

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

everyone is a mystery to me..I have gone through this quite many a times in past.
But now it doesn't happen as i just njoy myself.I am my best friend.I won't ditch myself ever.

take care and have a nice day.

phoenix said...

@vicky
thats a great thought "i am my best friend"

•♥•♥Vicky♥•♥• said...

:)
say hello to your new found best friend
*smiles*

phoenix said...

@vicky
sure sweetheart!

Aneesh said...

Well, I don't know what's the real issue, a friend hurting us is indeed painful.
'N a hurting done by a stranger is never a lasting one.
:)

the silent observer said...

Delete this comment if you want to. But first read it.

I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. Make this very clear. My intention was not to hurt you. I simply said what I wanted to.I asked you questions, that's right. But those were polite questions. I NEVER MEANT TO MISGUIDE YOU.

First things first, Raka. I LIKE YOU. And that's the reason I am writing my comment. That day I was very worried abt my exam and library time was the only time I had for studying. I couldn't study because of our discussion.

My blog was about that day in college. If you noticed I wrote only half a phrase abt you, the rest of the blog was abt something else completely. I am very critical at times but that is not meant to hurt people. I am sincerely sorry if I have hurt you. But this was not about you, it was about me. Some events have caused me to be critical and I need an outlet. My blog was my outlet.

Secondly,If I don't like something I will not gossip abt it behind your back. I AM NOT THAT KIND OF A PERSON. And I am not made that way. Probably, I won't even say that to you. But I will write abt it in my blog. I am sarcastic, yes, but through no fault of yours. Don't take it to heart is all I can say.

In the end, I would only like to say that I hav been one of your regular blog readers. I like your style and sensitivity. If you don't want to keep in touch with me, I'll totally respect your feelings.

But one thing, We are all essentially different and sometimes what appears on the outside may not be on the inside. WE ALL NEED AN OUTLET. However I do respect your feelings.

Also, my critical nature would cause me to be critical of a lot of my classmates. I can't help it. BUT U ARE NOT ONE OF THEM YET. Because we have always been on more or less good terms.Again I repeat, the blog was not abt you, it was abt me and my feelings. You have no reason to feel hurt.

However as you do, I am sorry once again. But I would also like to add that I can't promise that something like this won't happen again in the future- again due to my critical nature. Only thing I can say is " Don't take this to heart". And don't tell me that there is no person in our class about whom you hav said or done nothing to hurt.

As it is, no one is perfect. Maybe you did not do anything intentionally. So in my defence, I'd only like to add again and again, that no one is perfect. And I am not perfect enough to understand and appreciate everybody.

Even I have saturation points and I need an outlet. While on the one hand, it is not meant to hurt anyone, on the other hand,always caring what others wud think will cause me to stifle my voice of expression. I hope you will see and understand my point.

God Bless You.

phoenix said...

@dipanwita
yes i was hurt... but now i understand you...even when you wrote that post i respected you and your wishes....so no hassles... :)

@aneesh
hmmm

the silent observer said...

Thank you. I appreciate it. And hope this will not affect our future prospects.

Bye.

phoenix said...

@dipanwita
im sure it wont :)

but you must ahve come to knwo by now how easily i take things to my heart but i do understand the other side of the coin if it is explained to me... it was a sentimental outburst... i think you will understand :)

Aqua gurl said...

thnks raka for passing on the new URl:)

these things keep happening....i used to react like crazy to these thing, i dont care any more....coz you know what, no body has the rights to make you feel crappy..!!!

phoenix said...

@aqua girl
i agree totaly :)

Ria said...

Well this is how the real world is!!the sooner u realise the better. I realized this long time back and tht too after being hurt several times. And now i dont trust ppl the way i used to and i m guarded most of the times coz i cant let ppl jus hurt me and walk away like tht!

little boxes said...

u know,the best thing to do is to just let it be...because at the end,its never worth the effort!

Princess Mia said...

yes babes.....its a harsh reality of life that such kinda ppl exist....

phoenix said...

@ria
i agree even i dont trust people but it just hurts a little when a person real close to you lashes out at you


@mia
yeah i know now:)

@bedatri
very true!

Buzzz said...

do u need to care abt this lesser souls ? give them a damn and move on....

and yes politeness is not found this days. its a rare commodity :)