Friday, October 31, 2008

Part 4 [ The Second Chance]

Blocking Neel out was easier said than done. I keep bumping into him. Apparently he stays in my neighborhood itself! Arrgh! Just the thing I didn’t want. We bumped into each other in the only departmental store that the town has, then again at the newspaper stand, where I was pick up the morning paper after the morning walk. We haven’t spoken, just exchanged glances, something flickered when his eyes met mine but then died out.

I have to admit, with time I got used to him being there. At times I wondered what was behind his blank countenance. If I ever let myself talk to him freely, what would he tell me? I rather hoped he would blame me for walking out without a word, or for selfishly deciding the fate of our relationship, but he never did. Knowing that he was around did things to my equilibrium. I wonder if he has gotten under my skin and broken down the steel wall I had built around my heart. We hadn’t spoken in more than a year and half except for that day at the café, but we did speak again and the dam broke.

I had had some left over food some three days old. I’ve been too busy burying myself in work so I didn’t quite pay heed to what I eat. A bout of food poisoning rendered me bedridden. I don’t know how many days I was stranded home, with no one to cook or take care of me, what more do you expect when you are all by yourself, sick in a strange town, with no one to take care of you. It must have been three days, when I heard a knock very early in the morning. It must Mrs. Sen., my neighbor, coming to check on me. So I yelled.

“Come in. I’m in the bedroom.” I could barely manage to get off the bed to greet Mrs. Sen so I lay where I was waiting for her to come in, maybe I could even ask her to make me some soup or coffee, I thought.

“May I come in?” who was that? Not mrs. Sen surely. God! Not some burglar I hoped and prayed and then my mysterious visitor peeped in, and I could just die there and then.

“Neeel… what the hell are you doing here? How did you know where I live? Get out. Now!”

“Stay where you are. Don’t move. You can go on yelling but you would aggravate your illness or you can stay put and let me help you. How long have you been ill? 3 days? You hadn’t come for your regular morning walks so I wondered what you were up to. Thankfully I came in to check.”

I could yell or call someone for help but no-one would be around at such an ungodly hour. So I sulked instead, refusing to answer him. But being taken care of sounded like heaven and in any case I was too weak to even protest, so I did what I was asked to and stayed there as he made himself comfortable and went around, cooking and cleaning. In no time I had steaming soup in front of me.

“You can cook now?”

“Yes I have learned”

“It is good you know.” I said sipping the last spoonful of the soup.
“Really?” he said, as he cleared it off and headed towards the bathroom.

I heard the tap running and wondered what he was up to. Soon he came out with a towel soaked in lukewarm water. I was rather apprehensive of his next move; in any case he was too close for comfort. I almost jumped off the bed when he ordered me to stay and I knew there was no use protesting. He wiped my face with the towel, and my nape. He came back with a rubber band and a comb and combed my hair and braided it and even got me a small mirror to peek in. thank god! I looked decent now, I must have looked like a gypsy when he had come in. I’m sure he had noticed. If he had noticed, he didn’t say anything, just instructed me to take a nap while he ordered me to guide him to a spare key of the house. By now I was feeling way fatigued and all I wanted was to sleep so I did as I was told. Before the door clicked shut he added, almost as an afterthought,

“I’ll be back.” That sounded vaguely like a promise than a statement, I thought as I drifted off.

The next time I woke up it was noon, and true to his work Neel was there slouched on couch near my bed, buried in work, typing furiously on this laptop. Why was he doing so much for me? What were his real intentions? Did ma tell him I was here? Whatever it was I didn’t want him to rekindle the desire and emotions that I had done away with.

“Why are you doing this Neel?” I said feebly

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, I don’t want to fight but I can’t take this anymore. Tell me why are you doing this?

“I know you don’t want me around. But I’m doing what you would if you were in my place”

“That was not what I meant. What was there is over. Then why do all this? Why come here?

“You think I’m stalking you? “

“Aren’t you?”

“No! I was as surprised as you were to find me here in this town. I had never hoped to find you here but then you were. Fate had planned and so we met. Grow up Noyona! Let go of your past and let’s behave like adults, people who are mature enough to deal with the complexities of life. I admit I had been a jerk, but you selfishly decided you wanted out, and walked away without a bye. A lot has happened. But don’t look for something that is not there. I’m not going to harm you. Why do you have to behave like I’m going to pounce on you? Give me some credit,”

“So you are saying that we should be friends. Do you think it is possible? After all that has already happened?”

“But at least we can behave cordially, like one would to a person we know for as long as we do?”

“Hmm…”

“Think about it. You can run if you want yet again but then you can stop and face it. The decision is, as always, on you.” He said and walked out, and the door closed with a click.

I was silent. I didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was destined that we meet again but we can never get back together again. These beautiful multicolored dreams full of promises of a brighter tomorrow kindled a part of me that wanted to believe him, that indeed things would be perfect now if only she gave in. the temptation was too great. Maybe he was right, that I need to let go, to accept what life now offers to me instead of running away. Maybe all that he said wasn’t that vague. Maybe just maybe they could resurrect the friendship..

to be continued...

P.S-Watch out for this space for the concluding 5th and last part, tomorrow 1st November at 8.30.beware it is going to be longish :)

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Part 3 [The Second Chance]

What if’s have always intrigued me, and what if things dint happen the way it did? What if I hadn’t gone to the mall two days later and what if I hadn’t actually spilled coffee on my tee and had not gone to the washroom? Would I have still met the slender 18 year old somewhere else who desperate for some help approach me to bail her out? Would I actually like the girl enough to accompany her to meet her brother? Would I bump in to her somewhere else if not there at some later date?? The matter was, it happened. Nandini, the little girl and I walked out of the washroom, chatting, where her brother was waiting for her. There stood Neel, waiting for his sister to emerge from the washroom, the same sister I had helped him choose a gift for. On finding me with her, he recognized me instantly and his face lit up.

“So you two have met already?”

“Met already? You know her?? She has been an absolute darling. It seems like you guys know each other?”

“Do you do social service with vengeance?”

“Hardly. I like to lend a helping hand to anyone who needs me” I beamed. Finally, I thought, just when I was about to give up on ever finding Neel fate brought him to me.

“Care for coffee, Noyona or do you have to scoot today too, before I can actually ask for you number?”

I blushed. “Umm..Ok if it’s not a problem” So he remembered my name, now is that a good sign or bad? I wondered.

“What the hell is going on? Will someone tell me?”

“Come along kiddo I’ll tell all but not before we order coffee.”

What had followed were calls and more hanging out. Calls were random at first then the frequency increased. The excitement was palpable but there was always a fear nagging my mind. Where is this heading? What if he is not the one, what if he breaks my heart? It didn’t take him long to pop the question. With a heavy heart I had refused him because I thought we both were getting carried away by infatuation. Heartache entailed, calls stopped and it seemed all the happiness had been sucked out of my life. Even books didn’t interest me anymore. Then a freak call from him brought it all back. It was tough taking the plunge to rise beyond apprehension and gamble my emotions. I knew I was ready, and ever so gingerly I confessed that it wasnt really infatuation but I really did love him. Then there was no looking back. As if we had opened the Pandora’s Box and none of knew just how to contain it. Fear was always close at hand. Fear of losing each other. Nandini was the happiest when we broke the news to her first. It was she who encouraged us to tell our parents. Tension and apprehension ruled but to our surprise we were both welcomed with open arms. Our happiness was now official and for all to us. I remember the ecstatic feeling, as if I had wings and could fly. Happiness knew no bounds. We knew it was a matter of time before we were officially together. But love is good while it lasts, once the honeymoon period is over the real test begins, I thought bitterly.

I was such a fool then, to even think that this was it, bliss was right here, and that my prince charming had arrived. Maybe I was riding high on an overdose of mills and boons or maybe I was hopelessly in love. I learnt in the next few years to come that my prince charming was a mere mortal, that once the prince was sure he had his princess, he would go back to being the frog and would cease to fulfill the promises and the dreams that he had promised to turn to reality. Spending time with me became a charade to him, something that he should do not because he wanted to be with me. Talks only consisted of his work; he’d briefly enquire about my day, and move on to the next topic: him, without even waiting for me to answer. He had started not telling me things, it was only when his mom brought things up that I knew of it, he had gone drinking with friends in the middle of the night, or something he has bought or some new friend he was hanging out with. I felt like a stranger to the man I was seeing. Love seemed like prison cell to me. Being the perfectionist that I am, I tried to accommodate his erratic life, mood swings and work pressure into my life, to understand all that he had to go through in life, and his inability to give me time or attention. I tried for 4 long years, I know I did. With each fight, the feeling that ‘this wont work, that I am happy alone’ became stronger and stronger. Crying myself to sleep became a ritual then I just turned indifferent. There as much as one can take, listening to a guy talk about how hard he worked as if the work put it by the girl didn’t matter at all.

I knew it was coming and then one day something snapped within me. I couldn’t take it anymore. Life wasn’t a compromise for me. For a girl fiercely independent I had given up my wild ways for a man who cared less. I compromised and accommodated him and his flaws and inabilities, despite being the perfectionist I am. My self respect couldn’t take the indifference, the humiliation and the position he could offer to me in his life, that of being a trophy girl friend. I had had enough of believing that he would change, that he would indeed keep his promises. Of hoping that someday he will value me for what I was. I applied for a job which I eventually bagged and without giving him a reason or a formal goodbye I left and relocated to this sleepy seaside town. I haven’t been home since. Baring an occasional phone call for a few minutes to exchange pleasantries, I haven’t spoken to my parents. I’m not ready to face questions about my relationship. I’m not willing to go back home and be haunted by memories of what was but will never be.

Why did he have to turn up and mess around with the life I had chosen for myself. What is he after? This is my life now, and I’m not letting Neel’s presence ruin it. This time I won’t succumb to his lies and fake promises. This time, I’m not going to get my heartbroken. What I had with Neel is over and it will remain buried and nothing can resurrect it, come what may; I swore.

To be continued…………..

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Part 2 [The Second Chance]

“Are you always this sure of what you want?”

I looked up from the tee i had just choosen to buy, to a guy in stripped shirt, rolled up sleeves and a pair of fitting jeans. He smelled of expensive cologne.

“Almost, always.” It can’t harm talking to a stranger will it? After all this conversation ends with me walking out of this store

“You can tell me to go away if you want but then I need a small favor from you.”

“Yes?”

“I have no idea in women’s clothing or accessories. Umm.. will you help me find something to gift?”

“For your girlfriend?” I asked immediately, before I could even stop myself, jealous was I? To my surprise he started laughing. I liked the sound of it.

“No it’s for my sister.” Phew! I wondered why it mattered at all whether this stranger had a girlfriend or not. But I admit, it did please me that he was single.

“Hi! Im Neel.”

“I’m Nayona ”

“Please to meet you Nayona”

Time flew as we went shopping for Neel’s 18 year old sister Nandini. It surprised me that we seemed to zero in the same things and that he had a sense of colour and fit which most men seem to lack. The fact that a brother put so much thought to make his sister’s 18th birthday so special made me like him even more and wish I too had such a caring brother too. So with, a nice pair of navy jeans and a branded tee, chunky bangles and hoops for earrings, our shopping was done. We stopped at the mobile counter to get Nandini her first mobile. With a little suggestion from me, we got her the latest yet handy model from the leading manufacturer of mobiles. With shopping done it was time to leave.

“I can’t even begin to thank you for all you’ve done for me.”

“O don’t even mention it. I had a great time myself”

“Coffee?”

“Would have loved to but not now. I’m getting a little late.”

We went our separate ways. It didn’t occur to me then to take this forward and ask for his number and neither did he mention. It was one really nice and sweet experience which I thought was one of its kind. It was only later that I regretted not taking his number, because I would have loved knowing him, for he did seem like a nice guy. It was his naughty eyes that made him really endearing and lovable, almost.

To be continued…

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Second Chance

Saturdays are always so busy. What with the cooking and washing, after all one cant just live on packed and processed food all week around, now can they? Getting the housework done is no mean feat. After a leisurely bath and a nice nap I set off to get some shopping done. It doesn’t take me long to fill up my cart with veggies, oils, soaps and other essentials, for I always know just what I want and where to look, you can call me meticulous you know. And once the shopping was paid for I headed for the book store to pick up a nice book that would see me through the weekend. Browsing through the books, I picked up that book I was looking for and stopped at the coffee counter for a quick cup of cappuccino.

“One café frappe please” said a husky voice just beside me, and immediately I was pulled out of my reverie. No! it cant be him. I took a deep breath to steady myself. He cant be here in this town, it has to be someone else. But the same choice of coffee.. it has to be someone else. Café frappe after all cant be just a favorite to one man, other people love it too. I shrugged off the thought and went to the counter to pay for my coffee and leave, the last thing I wanted to do was torture myself imagining about a man whom I had totally eradicated from my system, almost I admit I still think about him and wonder where he is now. I haven’t heard about him in awhile now, ma has stopped questioning me about him by now. But to hallucinate him to be in this city, miles away from home is just too much. I ticked myself for even letting myself think of a person who is supposed to buried in my past. It unnerved me to think that even after almost a year and half he is still ever present in my life, enough that a simple slip and he got under my skin. Arrgh! I was about to leave when someone called me and without thinking I turned around.

“Nayona?” I was stunned and stood rooted at the stop withingout knowing what to say or do. But I managed to mumble.

“Neel!” there he was, my greatest nightmare standing right in front of me, mirroring my expression.

“How have you been?”

“Umm…fine and you?” I could barely mutter, when all I wanted to do was flee away from this man to avoid being close to him. I don’t want him to mess with my system anymore. Not wanting to spend a moment more than necessary I cut him short and said.

“I have to leave, I have errands to run. You take care.”

“But.. I.. you..”

“I really must leave.”

He didn’t answer me. The look of dejection adorned his face as I turned around and walked away, and I steeled myself, resisting the urge to turn back to look at him. Quickly I made my way back to my paradise, my one room apartment, which was my home in this unknown city.

In the safe haven of my home, flopped on the couch and curled my feet under me and tried concentrating on the new book I had just gifted myself, the one that I was looking forward to read eagerly but somehow reading was the last thing on my mind then. Neel.’s face loomed before me and refusing to fade out.

His features has hardened and he kept a slight stubble. Gone were the chocolaty, boy next door looks or the naughty twinkle in his eye. He has matured but he had those crinkles in his eyes that I so loved… loved? Now where did that thought come from? All that is over I rebuked myself, what he was and what he is now shouldn’t concern me now. This is my life now and Neel is not a part of it anymore. I rebuked myself. What happened shouldn’t have but then it did and now this was reality, and this is how it was meant to be. No use thinking of what could but never will be.

Neel wasn’t the kind one can ignore for too long; he manages to sneak in your thoughts and your life with ease that one doesn’t even get an opportunity to anticipate it. I could barely get him out of my mind that evening and memories came flooding and I was taken back to the first time we had met…

To be continued…

Monday, October 27, 2008

HAPPY DIWALI!

diwali always brings up some bittersweet moments. a lot of bad memories crop up but the fewer but happier memories make up for all of them.

diwali to me, at one time in my childhood, meant getting ready putting up diyas all over the house, eating 14 types of saag, and then rushing off to my friends place to attend the pujas. then spending all night helping my friends pack sweets and namkin to be given away the next day, the tying of rolley, and the mid night walks in our lane, which is decorated with beautiful lights and visit the pandal of kali goddess. some days those were, but with time all faded away. friends have relocated, i grew up. the usual fanfare isnt there but then the usual rituals of lighting the diyas and eating saag persists. and so does going up to the terrace at the middle of the night to see the fire crackers and to remember old times.

here's wishing you and your family a very happy and prosperous diwali!

have a safe diwali!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

10 RULES TO BE A GENTLEMAN


I've read in books and seen my dad and other men i have had the good fortune to meet, who have immaculate manners which is very impressive. but with what i see nowadays i'm forced to think that some men nowadays have merrily forgotten their manners and don't even feel the absence of it at all. But i'd like to believe in the majority, which constitutes of the good. but there is always a minority to a majority which however trivial does exist and sometimes these people who fall into the minority just needs to be addressed. and this is one such post aiming to civilize those men who lack in manners and etiquette and who form the minority of whom are civilized and who follow the protocol.

Following are some basic manners that men [minority] may find trivial but it is extremely essential that they follow. following them not only helps them to earn brownie points with their respective others but also in their social life[with friends and family] and also in their careers. read and learn.

1. even if you are a narcissist don't bore others with tall talks about yourselves and your achievements. specially if you are just acquainted with someone. instead of being friends you will force the person to think otherwise.

2. talk judging the mood, the ambiance and the status of the person you are talking to. for eg- you just cannot or should not talk private intimate stuff to your girl friend in a mall, in loudest of voices for all to hear.

3. observe and act. please take notice of the person you are with and then act.eg- if it is raining heavily and its a cyclonic weather, try and judge for yourself if for the other person it is feasible to keep your appointment. if it is a girl, dont give her the oppertunity to come up to you and tell you things like, how unsafe it will be for her to step out with you. it is for you to judge that.

4. if you are in a mood to be intimate then dont presume that your girl friend is in the same mood too. instead try and create the ambience and see if she reacts to it. if she doesnt then respect that she may not be feeling that way.

5. donot be over inquisitive. while it is alright to know where your girl friend is and what she is doing and why etc; however sometimes when she hestitates donot pester her, there maybe things private that maybe embaressing for her to tell you. take the hints given.

6. you maybe a fun loving and outgoing person but she may not be. so stop expecting that your girlfriend is your female counterpart, respect her the way she is.

7. when you take her out to dinner. make sure you give her attention instead of spending all the time observing others and neglecting her. hold out the chair for her to sit. hold the door open for her to enter. etc

8. while ordering food give the other person his/her space to choose what she/he would like to eat. and when the food arrives, no matter just how hungry you are don't ever pounce on the food, make noises while eating, or stuff yourself with food because you always feel hungry every two hours. if required pack the extra food but don't over eat forcibly because you are paying for it.

9. we all want to buy things that is within our budget but please don't exclaim and pass comments [specially in a mall]how expensive it is or how way beyond budget it is. what you know others need not know.

10. the most important of the list; your girl friend is your woman, treat her with respect. she is not your pal that you crack guy jokes, or engage with other men to make fun of her. What you consider funny maybe insulting even humiliating to her. try and perceive without being told what to do, for that you need to respect her dignity and honor, don't treat her as an object or as a subject of mirth. you may be an innocent and immature guy which can be endearing but while dating or having a social life and being social animal one [girl or boy] there are some basic rules and etiquette's that one must follow. one cant afford to be immature or sorry if one doesn't not possess such basic manners. no amount of regret can bring back lost reputation and the way people look at us.so think before you act, always.


When a guy asks out a girl, then he must learn to give her the respect she deserves. if he is not equipped with manners which most dignified men have, then please don't date or woo that special someone. it is not just insulting her but your emotions as well. however minor these rules may seem to one, it is essential and the very least one can expect a guy to possess to belong to a civilized society. if you are not any of the above then what you need to do is the learn them up. are you wondering if such men do exist? let me assure you they do. and trust me i know what i am talking about, and it is anything but amusing or funny.

not that most men are bad but girls who have boy friends who donot possess most of the above mentioned manners and specially NO.10 then dump him ASAP; you deserve better. men who donot have good manners are simply not worth it

REBORN

From this day forth "Phoenix...rising from the ashes" will be known as "Destiny's Child"

If i have missed out your links please do drop in my comments and i ll link you again :)

If you are wondering why this sudden URL and blog name change, then let me assure you, that nothing is wrong with me and i felt the desire to grow up and the need for a new beginning. i have evolved from when i started out and now i'm in a threshold of what we call life of an adult. when i started off i was a fresher in college, with my awkward and gawky ways, i wasn't confident of myself and my abilities. maybe i am still the same now, but now i'm much evolved and mature person. i will still carry forward my "phoenix..rising from the ashes" attitude but then there will be certain variations. i still love my blog and will continue to blog passionately. i will still try and be positives and still be me. but i will try and move forward leaving behind my childlike gullibility and naivety.

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.”

-Seneca (Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD)

Truly i'm being reborn from my very ashes.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Maybe...

maybe this time i have gone too far and dared to dream a dream that is way beyond my means. maybe it is best that i give it up.

Friday, October 24, 2008

MEN


Before anyone jumps into some bloody gender battles, let me clarify, this is not yet another feminist post but one that aims to put forward some unique roles that men play in our lives, which maybe small but not insignificant.

I’ve been wondering lately about just the importance of our brother’s father and boy friends in our lives. Just think whenever we have done something wrong to avoid being scolded by mummy we always hide behind our daddies. We expect that daddy will give us a piggyback ride. Before anyone harm can come to us daddy always comes forward to defend us and our dreams. He toils hard because he has to provide for us. yes it is his duty but he does so out of love and because to him we are the world. These are some very few but important things that our daddies do. These are things that we think we can do without but in reality we cant.

Our brothers are the ones that pamper us the most. be it something that we so want, they behave like absolute pests but never fail to take care of us when we need him the most. he assures mum to look after us. he fights with his buddies to not mess with his sisters he does it all.

Boyfriends and husbands have the toughest of task. They have to drop us off then go back all the way home. They have to spend money on gifts, cards and spend hours shopping with us. as if this was easy they have to try their best to ensure safety and protection to their girl/ wife by trying to stop roving eyes. They need to make appropriate comments to the lady to avoid conflict. loll!

Jokes apart, these men that play such diverse roles in our lives, sometimes protecting us, sometimes being an absolute brat, sometimes pampering us as if we are the world to them, makes men [ i would like to believe most men] such indispensable creatures on planet earth. i don't wish to demean the ladies and their achievements, I'm all for women empowerment, but id like to believe that behind every successful woman is one caring man and vice verse and not just the other way around. no wonder yin and yang co-exists in perfect harmony.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Congratulations are in order!

This comes a little late but nonetheless its heartfelt

CONGRATULATIONS TO TEAM INDIA FOR BEATING THE AUSSIES IN THE MOHALI TEST BY 320 RUNS, BY THE HEIGHT MARGIN EVER IN TEST CRICKET AGAINST AUSTRALIANS

CONGRATULATIONS MASTER BLASTER SACHIN FOR BREAKING LARA'S RECORD OF SCORED THE MAXIMUM CENTURIES IN TEST CRICKET!!

AND WHAT A SHOW DADA IN YOUR RETIREMENT SERIES. WE ARE ALL PROUD OF YOU. YOU TRULY ARE A FIGHTER.

way to go! may we win the series

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Right And Wrong


For someone who is guided strongly by "what is right and wrong" it is tough when i find myself feeling, reacting or thinking things that may not be right. now you will ask me, what according to you is right? how do you define right? well, for example, jealousy is there in everyone but it is a negative feeling. just like we know that feeling jealous is not right in the same way there are hosts of other things that exists but may not be correct or the right thing to do or feel or react or act.

Being a Virgo analysing and over-analysing comes so easy to me. so when i identify myself having a feeling that i shouldn't have, my agony kinda multiplies. what really bothers me is when i see some friend or loved one down and depressed and i know if only she/he followed what i said things would be fine and when they don't pay heed to me, it makes me really unsettled and i try to give in to the person's choice. in the same way, I've always acknowledged the existence of another facet to a topic but initially it was so hard for me to accept a different perspective to view it, now i have practiced and perfected giving in gracefully. but the issue that most bothers me is when i know i feel something for someone [fondness, care, affection, love and happiness etc] and that person is not receptive enough, but with time that too I've overcome. i don't pain myself thinking of it, for i know it doesnt really matter, what matters is that i know i must not demand that the other person reciprocate my feelings.

there are certain wrong things around. it is up to us to identify them and rectify them. if we don't maybe it wont affect one but it will surely make us a better person. you must think I'm some mad girl, who having nothing to do decides to fill in her blog with utter trash and we are compelled to read her. but then am i that incoherent? or am i making sense at all? what id like to know is, is there anything that really bothers you that you have to deal with?

A Strange Phone call

Day before yesterday a really strange thing happened. samik and i was out. we had gone to this upcoming township adjacent to the IT Sector in kolkata called Rajarhat. that's our usual hangout on Sundays if we get a lot of time out. this Sunday wasn't unusual except for what happened.

We had stopped for coffee at CCD outlet in Technopolis [it houses several IT firms and CCD and bookstores as well] When we entered it was relatively empty. just a few people we hanging around but mostly it was vacated. we slowly made our way to the first floor which houses the cafe. entering we choose our seats in front of the counter. in no time we were engaged in our conversation, we were having a silly discussion when samik's phone rang. it was his mom calling him to tell him, to get her the mugs that she so wanted that are available only in a departmental store in Rajarhat.

We both were surprised as to how his folks knew exactly where we were. after asking kakima[ samik's mom] we were informed that some man had called kaku [samik's dad] and told him that his son is sitting at the very moment with a girl in CCD,Rajarhat. and when kaku informed that they know that samik is with his girlfriend like he usually is, on a Sunday evening; the man hung up. the identity of the caller is unknown.

Now what tantalizes me is who could have called and why? we had looked around after the call from kakima and there were only three other couple except us there. and none of them was known to Samik. that samik and i are dating is not unknown to anyone in his family, so who could have called and why? i wish i could see his face when kaku had informed him that he knew about us. lol! really! nowadays people have all the time in the world to interfere in others life. how i hate such people!

Monday, October 20, 2008

New Blog Rocks!


Finally it is done. I'm mighty proud of just how our blog has turned out. our joint blog known as the ROCK STAR'S LOUNGE thus came into being, after loads of discussions and debates over names, templates, ideas but it was all worth it. Most of us were present in the brainstorming session that went into wee hours of the morning to finalize the concept and to create the basic framework. then came inviting people. we were lucky that all the friends we approached stood by us and contributed even when the blog looked all dull and rather bleak. But finally both, Buzz and I have toiled hard all of Sunday to give the blog the final look that we so wanted, with ample ideas from Peter, Aqua girl and PJ; thanks guys!

ROCK STAR'S LOUNGE is a fun blog where we the blogger friends have teamed up to churn up some mindless fun, where we can be just silly, wacky, nerdy anything that we wanna be, without much restrictions. unhappy, gloomy posts are a strict no no. so is having brains while reading the posts. and any pessimistic attitude will definitely not be entertained.

Do visit us and drop in your valuable comments. Help us spread the joy.

PS- Please do your bit to spread the word that "Rock star's Lounge" is here to stay!CHEERS!

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Happy Birthday Bloggie!


wishing you are very happy birthday bloggie





BLOG. a word that means so much and plays an integral part in my life. to me my blog is my best buddy, someone who listens ptiently to all that i have to say, someone who has seen me evolve through the crucial phases in my life. i blog to preserve my sanity. in this monotonous life, where everything we do is for survival and for a better life, i blog to keep the fire in me alive. the zest to put in my very best for my blog, for all my readers who have now become my friends. 2 years and 366 posts later; im here to thank all of you who have touched my life and made their pressence felt. thank you all for making my journey in bloggerville so enriching and full of love and warmth. here is my special way to thank you all who have made such a difference to my life.



Cindy- she touched my life with her warm and friendly ways but one day she was gone without a trace. this is to tell you that you are loved and remembered.




Buzz-we kept finding each other and then again fading into oblivion but somehow we always managed to find our way back.you are one of my oldest friends on bloggerville and i hope our friendship is here to stay.



Pj- you are a live wire. and each time i vist you, your childlike ways takes over me and i long to be a child again

Clouds
- you are more of a sister than a friend. your mature and cool ways makes you a great pal to have around.





Ashwin
- you are my ATF[ all time friend] ever there to lend me a hand.. and i hope the friendship continues.

Aqua girl- your passion for life draws me to you. your zest for life, makes me what to put that extra bit to my approach to life.

Keshi- you are someone who never fail to surprise me. from your innovative ideas, each day; to the mature head cemented on your firm shoulders. from the confident smile to your no non-sense gaze. you are what i desire to be.

Mann
- you find and extra special mention. i know you are out of sight [due to your injury] but never out of my mind. the positivity and warmth that emit makes you stand out even in the crowd. who said virtual friends cant be good friends in reality? from sharing boy friend woes to discussing life we had had some wonderful conversations. here's wishing you a speedy recovery! get well soon babes! miss you

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Stolen Tag

Ive stolen this tag from ceedy because i simply loved it...

Do you remember how you developed a love for reading?
my sister and my mom forced me initially to get started on reading books to cultivate it as a good habit. but soon it was not a matter of being told to read but it became a choice...

What are some books you read as a child?

i started reading NOODY first and then series of enid blyton mysteries, secret seven,malory towers, st clares, famous five, farthaway tree series, etc became my whole world...ive read all of enid blyton books :)

What is your favourite genre?
romance and fiction, though i admit im a sucker for romance... i must have read millions of mills and boons and never tire out reading them...

Do you have a favourite novel?

i loved The Thorn Birds by Colleen Mcculloughis is my all time favourite,harry potter series, paulo coelho books all falls under the category of my favourite books..not just one book, that counts

Do you usually have more than one book you are reading at a time?

i ahve a stack of books waiting to be read but i read one book at a time...

Do you read nonfiction in a different way or place than you read fiction?
it doesnt really matter actually for me anything that has something writted or printed is a reading material.infact i read paper bags made of newspapers as well :)

Do you buy most of the books you read, or borrow them, or check them out of the library?
all of the above, sometimes i go on to buying a book that i had borrowed and read. but mostly i borrow books unless i see something that i just have to buy.

Do you keep most of the books you buy?If not, what do you do with them?
of course i keep them, i have a collection of my books; straight from my childhood days

If you have children, what are some of the favorite books you have shared with them?Were they some of the same ones you read as a child?
id tell my kids when i had them, but for the present i keep telling my neice and my students to devour all of enid blyton books they can lay hands on; the books does wonders to a child's imagination. yes they are the same that i read as a kid.

What are you reading now?
the god of small things-arundhati roy

Do you keep a TBR (to be read) list?
definately

What books would you like to reread?
harry potter series, paulo coelho for sure and there are so many more to mention

Who are your favourite authors?
J k rowling, enid blyton, paulo coelho, kamila shamsie, chetan bhagat, shakespeare, etc

now i tag-buzz
PJ
and aqua girl

Wednesday, October 15, 2008


Imagine you are blissfully happy and your happiness knows no bounds and just then Mr Yamraj- the god of death, walks in your room and tells you your time is almost up. that you have just 3 wishes that can be granted as your last wishes and after which you have to ride mr yamraj's bike to heaven or hell depending on your track record. what will you do?? [at the cost of sounding silly here, please pardon me :P]

if i were in such a situation; id wish..

my 1st wish would be that

all the wishes of my family and loved one's are fulfilled, so that they lead a happy and prosperous life ahead.

2Nd wish

i wish i can meet all the people i value in my life before my life runs out, so that i can thank them for making my life so worthwhile.

3rd and last wish will be
that i have a painless death and that I'm not ever cremated [I'm scared of being burnt after death, id prefer being buried, to hell with religion]

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Role of intimacy in a relationship


i was wondering about intimacy in a relationship. I'm c'mon we are are adults and lets not be hypocritical here. my point here is to determine the role that intimacy plays in a relationship and just what makes us feel comfortable enough to be intimate with the other person; the person can be a boy friend/girl friend,wife or even live in partners.


I'm a prude in matters of intimacy but then i do realize that hugging or holding hands or even kissing or making love is an extension of the feelings that we harbour. but there is as much as i would display. im very conservative when it comes to PDA. intimacy is a very personal thing and should be kept within control when in public, holding hands is fine or an occasional hugging or a brief kiss is pretty acceptable too; but going overboard with PDA is just so gross. the other day i was a mall and a couple walked by. the man seemed the possessive kind, who kept on pulling the girl close and hugged her to him or delivered a kiss every now and then, while the girl was visibly uncomfortable. for bystanders like us it was very embarrassing to see such behaviour.


they say, human touch is very important in a relationship.so of course intimacy plays an important part in it. personally making love is something id like to explore only after my vows are exchanged. however I'm not averse to those who choose to consummate their love. for me i need to trust and respect my husband to give my body and soul up to the person. you will ask me, why, isn't love important while making love? id say, other than love marriages most are arranged there love happens later. in either way intimacy is a natural course to follow in love or relationship.



so what is your take on the role of intimacy in a relationship? and just where to draw the line with PDA.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Social Menace part 3

i had to travel a long distance in a yet another jam packed bus to go to a job interview. what i had to experience was horrendous... just imagine the lady standing right behind me was digging her nose and wiping her fingers on the rod she was holding to stand up? not just that she was stinking. gawd! and moreover she was talking to her friend in the loudest of voices, about some master she works for and his habits and his conjugal relationship with his wife.

somewhere a young boy was talking to his friend about what happened that day at the tuition's that his friend had missed; the topic was for all to hear, what is the best strategy to make the girl agree to date him.there was an elaborate discussion with peels of laughter and mirth for everyone to hear as the bus was stuck in a jam. then a strange looking mad man got up, and started broadcasting his own news channel with personal inputs. no this is not the end to my woes today. but there was more to come.

two women in their late 50's got up in the bus and one literally hung on to me while the other merely leaned against me to stand. my hands were already paining from all the strain of standing for a long time and then to manage such people. then there was this guy who wouldn't budge from a ladies seat to allow a lady to sit down! god! the conductor had to tell him to get up only then did he get up that too he kept on abusing and arguing. as the crowd cleared somewhat the man sitting opposite to me became visible, i almost immediately wished this didn't happen. the man was spitting on his shirt more than outside the window and mind you he was scratching his crotch merely in full public view..yewww!!!

i wonder why people don't develop some simple civic sense. personal hygiene should come to all and also we should be aware if we are being the cause of inconvenience to anyone.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

This week that was

This last week of pujas was very eventful to say the least. There were a few points that really made my pujas an enriching experience. Gloom, sadness and despair were close at hand but it could never dampen my mood which with vengeance I tried to remain gloom free for this was my last pujas in Calcutta. Next year I will be miles away from hom, with probably no leave. So I was determined to have the time of my life and I did.

What struck me during the pujas was, how people, irrespective of the kind of problems they face, the kind of life they lead otherwise, try and put on their best clothes and their best spirit to enjoy and celebrate the pujas with great fanfare. There were smiles even on those millions of policemen who sacrificed their holidays to manage the ocean of people out on the streets, during the festive occasion being away from their own families who need them. Calcutta police and the Civic Police did a splendid job manning the traffic!

My mind was the seat of contradicting thoughts and emotions. I wished and prayed that this is my last puja here [so that I can pursue my dream career outside the city] and on the other hand it hurt me even to imagine that I will have to stay away from an occasion that is now an integral part of our being. Pujas are no longer just a festive occasion, it’s a hope where people want to be in their best to enjoy before the lights are being taken off, pandals are dismantled and life comes back to haunt. I am not a religious person but pujas are something that makes one out of me; the ashtami anjali, the sandhi pujo, the dakhi, boron and sindur khela...

I spent a day with samik’s folks this pujas. And it felt great. I met his jiju for the first time and he was a perfect gentleman. He immediately put me in ease. And it was worth everything to see mohor play with her dad whom she had met after months. No one could tear her away from jiju. And the whole scene was heart rending to the core. I felt welcomed and very much a part of what was a tempting possibility, but I have to hold on to my ambitions and dreams of a career, and then being a part of this dream will be a reality too.

Another great event that occurred was a high school reunion with school buddies after 5 long years. Almost everyone had changed. Everyone looked more mature and ladylike unlike what were in school.Most of us met up. Sangita, ria, priyam, Natasha, anna, sayanti, srimoyee all turned up. And the best part was that despite having several issues in school, and being adamant not to turn up and face the people whom they had issues with, my friends irrespective of what had happened before, met up and decided to have the time of our lives. It was heart wrenching to see the initial group of friends reunite as if time has not been lost. As if there were no issues and it was perfectly normal to smile and hug each other as if the next moment would prove fatal. Laughter and giggles were the order of the day along with loads of yelling and a lot of excited news of those whom we used to know. We were all sorry it had to end this way but we had to leave. With the blink of an eye almost 5 hours had gone by. Soon it was time to leave but we all promised to make this an annual event! Phew! It was an awesome day! :D

Samik and I spent quite a time together, more than what we had anticipated. But most was lost in bickering. Our first formal dinner date was good but not so memorable. But I was atleast happy that I could be with someone I love the most and what to be with because pujo is no pujo without him. So alls well that ends well.

Pictures of pujo, reunion with friends, samik’s family are all to be found in a few moments in my photoblog known as the kaleidoscope of memories. Do crop in comments telling me what you think of them. I hope you all had an enriching festive time!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

im so sorry people im unable to frequent your blogs...but i promise i ll read and comment as soon as possible.im just caught up with the pujas...it begins today. but i promise when im back..i ll bring with me loads of pictures to show just how much fun i had...please bear with me. wishing you all a very happy holidays.... :)

Friday, October 03, 2008




wishing you all a very happy and prosperous durga pujas!
god speed!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

i wish closing my eyes,
would deem my problems non-existent
alas!but it is not to be!