Sunday, October 26, 2008
10 RULES TO BE A GENTLEMAN
I've read in books and seen my dad and other men i have had the good fortune to meet, who have immaculate manners which is very impressive. but with what i see nowadays i'm forced to think that some men nowadays have merrily forgotten their manners and don't even feel the absence of it at all. But i'd like to believe in the majority, which constitutes of the good. but there is always a minority to a majority which however trivial does exist and sometimes these people who fall into the minority just needs to be addressed. and this is one such post aiming to civilize those men who lack in manners and etiquette and who form the minority of whom are civilized and who follow the protocol.
Following are some basic manners that men [minority] may find trivial but it is extremely essential that they follow. following them not only helps them to earn brownie points with their respective others but also in their social life[with friends and family] and also in their careers. read and learn.
1. even if you are a narcissist don't bore others with tall talks about yourselves and your achievements. specially if you are just acquainted with someone. instead of being friends you will force the person to think otherwise.
2. talk judging the mood, the ambiance and the status of the person you are talking to. for eg- you just cannot or should not talk private intimate stuff to your girl friend in a mall, in loudest of voices for all to hear.
3. observe and act. please take notice of the person you are with and then act.eg- if it is raining heavily and its a cyclonic weather, try and judge for yourself if for the other person it is feasible to keep your appointment. if it is a girl, dont give her the oppertunity to come up to you and tell you things like, how unsafe it will be for her to step out with you. it is for you to judge that.
4. if you are in a mood to be intimate then dont presume that your girl friend is in the same mood too. instead try and create the ambience and see if she reacts to it. if she doesnt then respect that she may not be feeling that way.
5. donot be over inquisitive. while it is alright to know where your girl friend is and what she is doing and why etc; however sometimes when she hestitates donot pester her, there maybe things private that maybe embaressing for her to tell you. take the hints given.
6. you maybe a fun loving and outgoing person but she may not be. so stop expecting that your girlfriend is your female counterpart, respect her the way she is.
7. when you take her out to dinner. make sure you give her attention instead of spending all the time observing others and neglecting her. hold out the chair for her to sit. hold the door open for her to enter. etc
8. while ordering food give the other person his/her space to choose what she/he would like to eat. and when the food arrives, no matter just how hungry you are don't ever pounce on the food, make noises while eating, or stuff yourself with food because you always feel hungry every two hours. if required pack the extra food but don't over eat forcibly because you are paying for it.
9. we all want to buy things that is within our budget but please don't exclaim and pass comments [specially in a mall]how expensive it is or how way beyond budget it is. what you know others need not know.
10. the most important of the list; your girl friend is your woman, treat her with respect. she is not your pal that you crack guy jokes, or engage with other men to make fun of her. What you consider funny maybe insulting even humiliating to her. try and perceive without being told what to do, for that you need to respect her dignity and honor, don't treat her as an object or as a subject of mirth. you may be an innocent and immature guy which can be endearing but while dating or having a social life and being social animal one [girl or boy] there are some basic rules and etiquette's that one must follow. one cant afford to be immature or sorry if one doesn't not possess such basic manners. no amount of regret can bring back lost reputation and the way people look at us.so think before you act, always.
When a guy asks out a girl, then he must learn to give her the respect she deserves. if he is not equipped with manners which most dignified men have, then please don't date or woo that special someone. it is not just insulting her but your emotions as well. however minor these rules may seem to one, it is essential and the very least one can expect a guy to possess to belong to a civilized society. if you are not any of the above then what you need to do is the learn them up. are you wondering if such men do exist? let me assure you they do. and trust me i know what i am talking about, and it is anything but amusing or funny.
not that most men are bad but girls who have boy friends who donot possess most of the above mentioned manners and specially NO.10 then dump him ASAP; you deserve better. men who donot have good manners are simply not worth it