Saturday, November 01, 2008

Part 5 [ The Second Chance]

I had been thinking and I finally realized that this time it was me who was being immature. I was running from something that was right there in front of me, instead of facing it. I knew Neel was right, we should at least be cordial to each other if not be friends. But now since I know I was wrong I wanted to make amends but how? I didn’t know where Neel was putting up or have his contact number. But I didn’t have to look too hard, I met him the very next day at the departmental store. This time he stood and started, waited to see if I’d run away or come forward and talk. My palms were sweaty and I felt nervous. But I made my way to him, without faltering, thank god!

“hey! morning”

“g’morning!”

“i..umm.. had a change of heart”

“okay.. and..?”

“hmm and I was like hoping we’d start afresh?”

“does it still hurt that much to admit you were sorry?”

“huh?! No I mean, yeah I was about to admit, I’m sorry, I was sick and a little jittery having you there. And to make amends, I was hoping that you’ have dinner with me?”

“that’s quite a start!” he beamed. “And yes I’ll have dinner with you”

“Friday night at 8pm, my place cya..”

“yeah bye”

Damn! I dropped the salad bowl again! Thankfully it was empty. Boy! I’m nervous. 30 minutes more and he’ll be here, no he doing to be late as usual? Huh? Whatever! Putting the finishing touches I just ran to run me a shower and change into a plain blue jeans and a nice v- necked red tee. You don’t usually dress up for a friend do you? I added the kohl and the lip balm on an after thought and a hint of my favorite perfume. And there I was ready! Still around 5 more minutes to go. I went into the kitchen and set the table. I was just about to check on the food when the door bell rang. O my god! Is this the right thing to do? Suddenly I wasn’t sure. But I had to now open the door and let the man in who did things to her equilibrium. I let him in with a nervous smile.

“changed your mind?”

“no not really.” I blurted. “why don’t you make yourself comfortable?”

Soon he was settled in and I asked him if he would like something to drink. On his request I opened the bottle of expensive vodka that he had brought my very favorite. So he had remembered. As time passed we slowly eased out and the initial awkwardness of being together in a closed space ceased to remain. Maybe it was the vodka that got us talking.

“ so what brought to here to this sleepy town neel?”

“if you think your parents informed me of your whereabouts you are wrong. I just got myself transferred here. To stay back in kolkata with the memories haunting me in every step became too much for me to bear. So I choose this obscure place to begin again. But fate has something else planned. The person I was fleeing from, came right in front of me. Now I understand the suppressed smile your mother gave me when I last met her.”

“You met her? How is she?”

“Yes I did. But how come you don’t know how your mother is? Haven’t you been home?”

“no I haven’t. I couldn’t bring myself to go back, to answer questions about us. I wasn’t ready maybe im still not. Maybe im being selfish and im not being fair to them but needed the time to heal to build my life with shattered pieces”

“That explains it all. I still can’t believe how you left. At first I didn’t even realize your absence. I thought you were again angry over something but will start talking to me when your anger subsides. Then the last time we spoke, you were about to tell me something and I was too busy and impatient to hear you out and I hung up. It was only a week after when I went over to visit you that I was told by your mother that you had left but refused to say where you had gone, she just said that you were not going to come back in a long long time.”

“I tried telling you… I waited for you notice me in agony… I had hoped you would turn over a new leaf to make our relationship work but you never did. Then unble to bear it any longer I just gave up. I tried to make it work but it just didn’t. “

It was when I looked towards you that I saw tears in your eyes, I realized for the first time, maybe he had suffered as much as I had. Maybe this shouldn’t have happened the way it did. I wanted to comfort him, to tell them it’s alright, we’ll see it through, that we will put things right; but I couldn’t. I couldn’t forgive him for the agony I have been through. I couldn’t forget the disdain and disgrace. To be treated as a trophy girlfriend. No I just couldn’t forget but for the first time I forgave Neel for everything I had been through.

“It wasn’t easy, I looked for you everywhere. I waited for you to return but you never did. Anjali, your friend said that she hadn’t heard from you in ages and refused to divulge the details of your whereabouts to me. It was then I realized that you were gone and this relationship really is over.” I didn’t know what to tell him. I understood his agony but I couldn’t do anything to lighten his burden. He went on as if he had to get things off his chest, and I didn’t stop him.

“After the reality sank in, my whole life fell apart. It was as if I was in a trance. For days I wouldn’t return from office. It was Nandini who turned me around. She made me understand why you did what you did. She showed me where I went wrong. My anger towards you changed to that of repentance. I wanted to make things right but I knew you wouldn’t give me another chance for being the jerk I was. then I got myself transferred here. At first I thought I was just imagining you to be there in the store. But the next time I saw you again, during the morning walk; I couldn’t muster the courage to approach you. Moreover you looked content in your life, I didn’t want to disrupt your life in any which way.”

Then you say me again at the café? What made you call me?”

“Yes then I saw you again at the café. I saw how you stiffened when you heard my voice. I didn’t think you will recognize my voice but that small reaction reassured me that you are not indifferent to me. I just wanted to apologize for all the wrongs and was hoping that you would forgive me.”

“I have forgiven you Neel. I know you have gone through the same as I did. I don’t harbor grudges against you. We were both young, we did things that could have done differently. But now why reminisce the past? I think it is the time to heal.”

I said as I got up and went to him, ruffling his hair, affectionately, like I used to do; but this time he didn’t jerk my hand away. Instead he put his arm around me, and buried his face against me. I was taken aback. The gesture wasn’t intimate but the innocence with which it was done, touched me. I couldn’t retrain myself from hugging him close. Tremors rocked his body and then mine. I knew then, I may have tried to block Neel but I haven’t been successful. You can’t lock love away, it always crawls its way back to you heart. Yes, I was still in love with Neel. Once the tears subsided, I tried hesitantly to move away but Neel wouldn’t let me.

“I love you Noyona. Like I have always, loved you. I know I have been less than perfect to you. But give me just one chance to prove myself. Let me show you that I can be the guy you want to be with for the rest of your life. All I ask is to trust me, to have faith that this time I won’t the immature person i was. Life isn’t the same without you, if you say yes, I ll dedicate the rest of my life striving to make life a wonderful experience. And if you refuse, id die a bitter man. Wont you give me just one chance?”

I was silent, tears coursed its way down, leaving behind wet tracks. This time it was him, who came around and hugged me to him. I was enveloped in the arms of a man, who had learnt what it was to loose someone he loved, who had never lost faith in love, who now wanted another chance to put things right. I didn’t want to believe him, but I felt myself succumb to his words that held promises of a new tomorrow. I felt the walls I had so carefully built, crumbling. I dared, for one last time risking my emotions yet again, to let him in. I mumbled,

“yes”

“ noyona? I promise this time never to let you don’t. you wont be disappointed. Trust me this last time.”

“Neel, I said YES. I said I will take a chance”

“you what?”

“I said YES.”

“really?” he looked at me incredulously.

Suddenly I felt like a steam roller engulfing me, I could hardly breathe. My life was almost being squeezed out of me and I struggled to free myself.

“Get off! You moron! You are strangulating me. Neel I can’t breathe. Get off!”

It was as if some miracle had happened, I hadn’t seen Neel so happy, he looked even younger, the naughty spark was back. It warmed my heart to see things finally fall into place. I couldn’t be happier. Sometimes you just need to take the plunge, for not often does life give you a second chance. Once the happiness had sunk in, and initial jubiliation was tamed, I asked Neel,

“Shall we call home?”

“You want to? Are you sure” Neel asked somewhat hesitantly.

“Yes I am sure. I think I’m ready” he just smiled

I picked up the phone gingerly, and dialed home. I wondered how ma would react, it has been awhile since I had called.The phone rang for sometime, and then a sleepy voice came on.

“Hello?? Who is this?”


“Ma it’s me Noyona.”

“What are you doing calling me at this hour? Its 3am”

“Ma I have something to tell you”

“Yes?”

“We are coming home!”

“Huh? What? We?”

“Ma Neel and I are coming home. We are coming home together!”

This time ma was wide awake. I could hear her muted sobs. It was sometime when she spoke. “Finally! I never thought I would see the day! Wait till I tell everyone!”

As we sat in the veranda waiting for dawn to break, Neel hugged me close.

“Today we are going home Noyona! And now everything will fall into place, just trust me!” I didn't reply, but hugged him back, things were finally falling into place.

37 comments:

Harshita said...

Yipeeeeeeee!!

They finally are together...thanks yaar for giving us such a beautiful ending...this one is the best part amongst the series :)

Phoenix said...

thank god! i feared dissapointing people with a sloppy ending....


i feel so naked now you know.... without plots to think of :(

Chriz said...

nice ending... ill catch up raka with the replies.. ;)

Sunshine gal said...

The language of the write up is very lucid. However, the story is interesting in parts..Not your best work, if you ask me. It has the M&B hangover and the typical Raka Flavor to it, but i wish you would break out of this mould and try something new..Challenge for a good writer lies there and you can develop as a story teller only if you venture out on newer pastures...
Btw, i might be unfair to the writeup coz i found it to be heavily influenced from your real life...So it was like a rerun of a story that am already well accustomed with.. I think you should go by what the other bloggers( as in people who do not know you personally) have to say, about this particular writeup...

Keep thinking up newer plots...Keep penning...

dilmainhainpyar said...

finally it has ended.....

great work frnd... i liked every part of it and every words was having the feeling of love and care.....i am still in love with neel and nayona.....

waiting for the next story.....

Phoenix said...

@chris
thanks sure..do reply.... :)

Phoenix said...

@dilmainhaipyaar

hey thanks a ton :)
im really touched pal! :)

*hugs*

Phoenix said...

@ipsy
im always open to criticism..and your comments and opinion one is valued as usual but id just make a few points-

~1stly-this blog is just an outlet for my thoughts... its not supposed to an arty blog... i cant write consciously trying to use words that don't come to me naturally...

~MB hangover...
well whats wrong with mb/romantic stories??? im a sucker for romance..just coz someone doesnt like the feel of it should i now change the way i write or the motivation i write for?? i love romances and will always write in the same genre whether someone likes it or not... people you dont like it can trash it for all i care... i will write because i want to write/love writing and on genre/topic which i feel naturally inclination for... not take up a challenge to be different...take it or leave it...im not out to prove anything... just be myself...

~autobiographical
i have always maintained i cant write on things that are not related to me... so what if its autobiographical??? this is my story with a twist.. is there anything wrong in that? this blog is for my blogger friends and not for those who know me personally... and i think i had already said that to you before...in the blogworld i am phoenix and not raka...id like to maintain that status quo..and anonymity


please dont take offence to what i said but i needed to say what i felt was right to clear my stand...

Sunshine gal said...

Your Blog, Your post..I bow out gracefully... :I

Buzzz said...

Blog war on such a nice story series....not done....i just cud imagine why shud ppl got to flaunt their criticism even if they dont agree with the story......

a feedback can always be given in a toned down language unlike here....

hey phoenix, u rock and u shdnt care abt wot ppl say.....u write too good and i wud for sure support u till the end :)

keep writing and rock!!

Sunshine gal said...

I was under the impression that this Comments section was meant for commenting upon the write up and not commenting upon other people's comments..

@Buzz-
am sure that you have got no idea about the equation I share with Phoenix. I can tell her what I think without mincing my words and I know for sure that she won't take it to heart. It is practically impossible to like everything that a person comes up with..and it is far more hypocritical to appreciate those which I havnt liked for the sake of making a person feel good...I know what she is capable of and hence I dared to comment likewise. I have read her other write ups and she is a wonderful writer-in-making with ample potential. Only constructive criticisms can aid her to fulfill her goal in Life- that of becoming a well konwn journalist.

Its a different story that you liked her write up here and I dint but I dont think U have any right to comment on my comment...Its best to stick to blog ethics without "Flaunting" one's own opinion..

Priya Joyce said...

whopeeeeeeeee!!
I luv the end..I wanted this...
cool series of posts dear
cum up wth more of the kind

dilmainhainpyar said...

so finally the story ended....... i luved it yaar....and also am in love with neel and nayona.....

waiting for some more like this dear....

keep going...all the very best

Phoenix said...

@buzz
:D im glad at least i have you there to always like my posts...at least i got one bakhra who will read me no matter what shit i write... :)

Phoenix said...

@ipsy
yeah you never have to mince your words... you be what you are.. and bcz you are what you are... you are ipsy... so no i havent taken your words to my heart! :)

Phoenix said...

@pj
im exhausted right now.. but i ll try and come up with more.. :)

im glad you like it...

Phoenix said...

@dilmainhaipyaar
you mirror my thoughts... i can understand the feeling of something we get attached to getting over... i feel the same too

Buzzz said...

Ipsi or Sunshine or moonshine gal whoever u r, let me tell u one thing i m not bothered abt ur equation with phoenix -- platonic or cosmopolitan or metronomical.....

but one thing is for sure if u do share good vibes with her then u dont need to hire a taxi n run away from her blog......

this is blog terrorism...when u dont agree with a perspective, u either start writing faltu stuff pretending to be her well wisher or whateber wisher...

u cud hv written constructive comments in a tomed down lang....but well ur blog friend, ur mind n ur comment.....but as a friend of hers i need to be backing her up and i wud do that, come what may....chahe duniya idhar ki udhar aur upar se neeche ho jaye..........

so do u hv ne problems i liked her write up ? and since i hv liked tht r u going to flaunt me n criticise me ? dont bother... i wont stop supporting her even if her posts r haiku types or prose in form of poems......

thank you and pls dont bother to reply cos i m genuinely not interested in replying back!!

Tara said...

Wooo hooo Raka! I loved it, the typical "feel good" stories! After reading it you feel so loved and blessed! Wonderful work, keep it going girl! And I didn't comment on the previous ones because I wanted to read it till the end and then form my judgment. Hope you didn't mind! Looking forward to more such good work...:)

Hemanth Potluri said...

ending was gr8.....happy ending...it dint end up sad :)..

urs..hemu..

Phoenix said...

@tara
thanks pal :) i didn't feel bad at all :) actually its good that you did...i get impatient of series post y haven't u guys trashed me i have wondered :P but im glad u guys havent

Phoenix said...

@hemu
im a sucker for romance and a happy ending... so in all my stories that is a must :)

Sunshine gal said...

Buzz the Buzzing Bee it seems that U truly do have a wonderful imagination..."hire a taxi and run away"...huh?? Where did that come from??Oh I know from the imagination of a half demented person....U are a B-grade author-in-making...Keep imagining..Keep penning..U will gross out the entire Humanity in no time...

And forget it I am not taking any language training from a person whose vocabulary runs short of english words every few paragraphs....

One more thing..she is just not my blog friend...Our friendship exists in this real world, on the other side of the net...And if u want u can be a hypocrite and continue supporting her even when she is going wrong somewhere..May be that is what is Friendship to you--but neither to me, nor to Phoenix...

I really don't think much of U..So I don't think it bothers me one bit if u have liked something that I did not...My conversation started with her and would have ended there right away without an intrusion from a Buzzing Buzzer like U..Unfortunately some do not know where he is unwanted and likes to take a pot shot at every damn thing...

I had to clear my stand...and hence I commented back..Beyond this U should know that I am not interested to carry on a conversation with a pathetic half evolved specimen of Humanity like U...
P.S-U should better check out the meaning of flaunt in a dictionary, i.e, if U know how to use one.Probably, then you will understand that "r u going to flaunt me" makes no sense at all, Mr. Dim-Wit...

•♥•♥[V]♥•♥• said...

i love happy endings.. :D
they give me unreal expectations like bollywood movies..but they give me hope too.

Phoenix said...

@ vickey
yup... thats y i so love them.. because the hope persists...no matter what!

Keshi said...

I like happy endings like in this story...but I dun like abrupt endings like how it is in Blogville right now. :(

Keshi.

Buzzz said...

Ipsi the shitty blogger, learn some language first and then come up with ur zero grade posts...Not even B or C or Z, but 0 grade.....

u r a blog terrorist and the best place for u is to be blocked for good, u r curse to the blogging community......

dont bother to reply...catch a taxi and go to a place of no return...we dont need u dumb blog terrorist!!

Buzzz said...

u the curse on humanity blogger ipshitty, get a language skills training first and then rant out here.....

Buzzz said...

and u rnot even one fourth evolved u dumbass blogger......dont bother to reply, i dont want to spoil this space for unworthy useless ppl like u

Sunshine gal said...

Some people, blogging for ages however know only a few catch phrases like "blog terrorist" and "catching a taxi and running away"...It is but really really amusing....Beyond that their language skill is zilch....However, they never stop asking others to go get a language skills training done...

"spoil this space for unworthy useless ppl like u"- Your very presence in the blogosphere has already renderd it spoilt..How could I, as insignificant as I am
have added to its deterioration????

Sandeep Balan said...

happy ending...he he...i lack big time when it comes to that genre...the same part 3 ghost is back to haunt me here as well yaar...well written post...but i felt a lack of detailing...the switch from pain to smiles was too quick for my comfort...you are excellent at narrations and creating an image in the readers mind....and those are the biggest strengths for a story teller...use your strengths well...dont cut the music short after putting in such great efforts in creating such a wonderful tune...I may not be the right person to advise...but i feel you need to work a little on the detailing part and the transition between two different emotions...it has to be subtle and gradual in my view...would have been really great if you would have gradually got her to say yes...i felt it could have been much much better had you done that...still....was nice stuff daa...you had me glued...i will come back for sure...keep writing...cheers!

*i dont think you have to go anywhere for a new plot...you have an excellent one brewing up in this comments section...he he..joking...its not only your b log...but your comments box rocks big time too..way to go gal...way to go..he he..lol!

Buzzz said...

yeah ipshitty, i m poor in english language, not as rich ass you...what to do...

i m also not insignificant as u or i even deteroriate the blogger space so much that u forget ur pledge and catch a tram to come back to this blog to respond me..... and then catch an auto n go back to ur witch island....

i m poor in english, i accept it....and u r queen of english so much that queen elizabeth - 2 would sweat b4 ur lucid accented english......

come out of ur comfort zone n speak english, i m sure u d get lots of brickbats and eggs on ur face for ur heavy english, but my english is poor i accept......

Phoenix said...

@sandeep
valuable points there.... will do my best the next time i dare to attempt writing :) thanks and keep visiting

Phoenix said...

@keshi
matching up to you i think is a big deal.. so im soo glad you liked it!

Sunshine gal said...

Buzz the Buzztard I end the fight here..You can carry on alone...Fighting with some random half-intelligent guy like You, is so not what my life revolves around....

You can have the last say, and the one after that and the one after that too...I wouldnt care two hoots about it!!!!!!!!

P.S-I really do empathise with You-My english will definitely seem "heavy" to semi-literate people, travelling to and from blogosphere via "trains", "trams" , "buses" and likewise crap!!!!!!!!

P.P.S-For whichever word You did not understand, there is always the dictionary, which I hope You have learnt to use while checking out the meaning of Flaunt...

Phoenix said...

@ buzz and ipsy
this blog war ends right here and now! no more comments from either of you will grace my comment segment here... what started out as fun has surely not remained as one as you both have launched a personal attack on each other. the situation is now getting out of hand so please put an end to it!

Sandeep Balan said...

ha ha...the fire brigade arrived finally...good good...

and hey..."will do my best the next time i dare to attempt writing"......"dare" is a wrong term to use for writers....you should never dare to attempt yaar..its your birthright ;P