I realized after writing the previous post that the anger I have within me is due to the fact that I endure what I do from people. It is not because they were just plain bad. But it was me who was unable to stand up to them and tell them “hey! Stop it right there. I won’t put up with your crap!” instead I am content to feel angry within, wishing I had stood up and voiced my opinion.
The reasons for not doing it are many, but most important one being; I didn’t want to have a fight and loose loved ones, as I have always said before, the moment I stand up for myself I loose friends. I then figured I loose friends anyway, so why endure the crap and loose them, why not just put an end to my troubles by voicing my opinions instead of opting out of a conflict? I have been overtly polite and meek and thus stuff kept happening to me. Who do these even think they are to mess up my life anyway? If these people are true friends as I think them to be, they will respect my opinions if and when I choose to voice them. And if they choose to walk away, what can I say? Maybe they weren’t really ‘real’ friends, so what would have happened, happened anyway. At least I will not have regrets or anger within me, because anger is self destructive.
Giving up something you love is the hardest thing to do; trust me I know. It was disheartening to see people ruin the thing that was after my heart, a part of my creation. The final blow was however to see, a person who meant so much do the same. One of the most important truths in life that I learn't is, No one, Absolutely No one cares for the thing you care, the way you do. But having said that, people have their strange ways, and who am I to even judge them?
On happier thoughts…
A very dear friend is going through a rough patch, his spirits are down and he is somewhat demoralized. It just makes me feel helpless, unable to bail him out. But here’s praying that he marches out of the darkness as the warrior of light. *HUGS* cheer up pal!
A big thank you to Harshita,Valencia, and Ria for being the friend in need. It meant the world to have someone who understood me.
News update on personal front-
My semesters begin sometime in the first week of December, yes I need to get down to books, and I will, promise. And I am not going to pledge falsely that I will not be frequent the blog world and study, for I have tried it the last four semesters and I was utterly unsuccessful. But I just have to forewarn that my posts may just be stray thoughts and random doodles. Just don’t abandon me... or else.. I will haunt your blogs..just kidding lol! I hope things are going good at your end… do take care…
P.S- I’m not unhappy, sad, or even depressed. Instead I’m hail and hearty. I just wanted to reassertion a few things to myself, hence the post. So don’t worry. :D o! i almost forgot... thanks for the lovely comments in the post below!:P