Christmas has never been so dull. It has always been a grand event for me. Convent schooling for almost 15 years does that to you .in my childhood the excitement of getting up to a bag filled with goodies, thrilled me to no end. Stockings were hanged the night before, Christmas tree was decorated and Santa stood by it; id drift off to sleep as my room glowed in the beautiful lights that dad would help me put up.
School used to be so much fun too. We’d prepare a month in advance and on the day school wrapped up for the winter holidays we would have our winter play. Carol singing, Mary and Joseph and the birth of Christ were so beautifully depicted in the play. We would end the play with Santa coming in with the goodies. It used to be so much fun to sing these carols and munching in the yummy cookies, cakes and tarts and our Sister [Irish nun our principal] would deliver one of her beautiful speeches and we’d all sing joy to the world and school would finally end on a happy note, with promises to meet the next year. Sigh!
No stockings greeted me this morning, no Christmas tree and surely no hint of celebrations, I peeked from beneath my blanket and reminded myself, that indeed it was Christmas the difference was I had in fact grown up. Until last year I had dropped not so subtle hints reminding my folks that the stockings would still be up. But this year I had no heart and surely not the usual excitement. It was a dull Christmas with no joy or merriment, and to top it off I was in a really bitter mood and was sulking throughout. All I did was stay in bed, read my book and occasionally stare aimlessly stare out if the window. It was a dreadful feeling of being lonesome. I had everyone I valued but I felt I was so alone as if I had just lost something important, maybe it was my childlike innocence, but I can’t be too sure. I guess I have grown up and the monotony of life has hit me. Maybe grown ups are not entitled to have the fun and excitement that the children experience.