Let me warn you that i am angry and extremely pissed and this post is just a remedy to get off that thing that has turned my life living hell. So if you think you will be bored stop reading it, now or come back later when a different post is up. I should probably post this is my all girls blog but then i need to vent and i need to vent it here.
For the first time in life i felt that being a girl can be such a pain in life. Until today I have never faced the brunt of any injustice because i am a girl but what happened today made me feel bad for being a girl. What happened today shouldn't have happened and i don't know just how to get over it and move on. I know tomorrow maybe i will have better sense to look beyond everything, to regain the hope and faith and deal with this situation better but as of now, I'm angry,insulted, pissed, humiliated hurt and extremely disappointed.
A girl no matter how careerist, or homely, always envisions that the day the talks of her marriage will be broached will be a happy affair. it will be a beautiful moment that will be with her for life. I'm not different. but today my happiness turned into insult, humiliation and utter disappointment and hurt. Samik's folks brought up the topic of marriage today. its their tonality and perspective of looking at our marriage that led to this being my worst nightmare. They made me feel I'm an object.. some alu bhindi, with no dreams or desires, that i should get married and why? Because if Samik gets married then he will be settled he will learn to take responsibilities, and if he moves out of town, he will have me to take care of him. i wonder why his parents need a literature graduate servant for their son, to take care of him. i was angry and aghast. all this was coming from people who i believed loved me back, who are so concerned about me and my well being. they know about my future aspirations to study and work and yet they say stuff like this; and what could be worse, they spoke to me in third person, making me feel even worse, like "we were telling samik, get married because you will have someone to take care of you, and you wont be feeling alone or bored. having a wife will make him responsible" and i was dying to yell at them, " and what about me? and my dreams and wishes? am i that trivial?" damn!! i cant belive people in 21st century are like this, specially people who claim to love me treating me like im something that need to be weighed and sold; it hurts like hell. i cant belive that such people exist who they have double standards one reserved for thier daughter and one for their daughter-in-law.
Are we girls born only so that we can be married off?? are we not an individual at all? if any of you guys reading this, then make a mental note now; never let your parents talk you into such atrocious things, never do it to your own daughter and never ever let anyone related to you or not, go through this at all. marraige is a beautiful thing to happen, but it should happen when the time is right and when the two people are ready for it. i hope none of you have to go through what i did.
Btw NO IM NOT GETTING MARRIED!! :x