Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Relationship Woes


Its 4.33am and I'm still up. waiting for Samik to mail. yes he has night shifts and I'm up keeping him company, not because I'm Expected to but because i Want to; so all the plans for doing great things because my boy friend is having night shifts have gone to waste. okay while on the topic of my post on "5 benefits of your boy friend working night shifts" and the comments i got from it i get the idea for this post [thank god! :) because i was totally floundering] now some enjoyed what i wrote and some were apprehensive of Samik's reaction. now this gives me the food to think about the importance of space in a relationship.

I was reading in Harshita's blog where she wrote about relationships and if with marriage ends everything that was there, friends etc before marriage. so that gives me enough things to answer. see a relationship is a simple and tender thing. its all about balance. why would a guy dictate what the girl should do and not? the girl in turn has to use her sensibilities to do things within limits. why do anything to jeopardize your marriage or relationship? its the same for guys as well. if there is space in a relationship and trust, then everything else falls into place. like yea if samik read the post maybe he wont be happy but then he will realize or i hope he does, that my life centers around him and i do things willingly but i also do miss out on friends etc sometimes i do need and yearn for these things and if by coincidence i get the opportunity then why not grab it and put it to full use? would he rather i sit back having nothing to do and be cranky because he is not around to keep me company?I'm sure he wouldn't like a whiny girl friend. and if he doesn't understand than its his bad luck but thankfully he understands.

See the thing is friends are as important as boy friend/girl friend. when the respective other gives you a hard time the friends support you. and when the friends give you a hard time BF/GF is there. Not just that, you need support systems. i mean yea you are in a relationship does that mean you will ignore friends?hell no? why should you? but of course there are possibilities that the person you are friends with may be a trouble to your relationship, then it is on you to judge if there is at all any such threat to the relationship and if you can rationalize that it is not then why bow down to your partners insecurities and loose a friend. of late i have heard my friends loosing out of friends because they choose their relationships over friendship and i was aghast. insecurities and jealousies are like a part of a relationship, it is upon us how we handle it.. if they are still there then the problem then its our inability to make our respective others feel secure about us. Balance is the greatest lessons in life, even the nature thrives on balance [read:life cycle] then why not practice it, if it yields good results. why give up friends for suspecting and distrustful partners? and why give more priority to worthless friends and ignore losing partners? so the trick to maintain healthy professional and personal lives is to maintain balance and space in all relationships.

The moment we stop being guided by the things we SHOULD do and do things Because we WANT to do, life is a lot easier. one should always consult their others on things but the decision should be ours ultimately, and ours alone. if we have our conscience clear, and are guided by it then no insecurity or misunderstandings occur, hence a less complicated and hassle free life!

P.S-If you didn't get a thing of what i said.. i don't blame you..seriously i don't..its just that I'm awake for awhile now so in all probability i don't make sense.. it isn't making sense to me..anyway...you guys didn't tell me how my new template is? BTW i lost most of your links while formatting my blog..i tried restoring most.. still...do comment so that i can link you back... :) thanks in advance!

22 comments:

yamini meduri said...

seriously yaar.....i dint get anything from this post...it was all messed up..n i can understand a post at such late time....will be this way..!!!

but now that i knew you were talking about maintaining relations adn friends....i find it the most tough job to every human....but still, we do it with all our heart..!!!

ki said...

This post made total sense. I neeeded some straight talking on this issue and you just gave it to me. :)

Thank you.

MultiMenon said...

I got most of it..but then,an undertoone of contradiction sumwer.. :p

lol..joking..!! :p

Anyways,u dun have regards for ma wrods and u 've proved it.. :( food,sleep and all have gone to the bins..and am callin ya soon..looks like my chaos theory is cumin handy.. :)

take care dearie..:)

Nikhil

MultiMenon said...

sexy template btw.. :D

mayz said...

i kinda lost track of wat u were tryin to say thr...so i'll jus give u a nice hug n get away this time...hehehe :)
hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!! :P

Ria said...

hey nice template babe!and i hope all those efforts tht u r putting into ur relationship pay off well!!

Hemanth Potluri said...

hmmm...its all abt relation ur taking abt...i am there as a frnd forever :)..

urs..hemu..

sttutts said...

see, to speak frankly there is more to life than RELATIONSHIPS! after reading some of your previous posts also i found that you are inclined only towards the relationships, try finding fun in some other things also, it will help you move forward from the chaotic life....
everyones life is messed up...
dont worry... keep smiling..
things will find their own solutions......

Mithe said...

You know Raka, it did make an awful lot of sense to me. I found this post balanced and full of oodles of perspective. I like dthe lines where you pointed out the responsibility of each partner towards the other somewhere in the middle of the article. Infact that is actually the heart of any relationship!
great work raka..

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

i second mithe. :)

happy holi dear.

i did not like d templt. sorry raka :(

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

but i liked d header :)

Mithe said...

How funny-even amitabh has written on relationships in his latest article. For those of you who would like to see it-here's the link-
http://bigb.bigadda.com/2009/03/10/day-320/.

Amrita~Ams said...

pehele wala template zyada accha hai..btw..
I dont know..wat to wanted to say..:(..I read it twice..or i m not wise :( ....
nyways..
happy holi...to u n samik :)

the pink orchid said...

thoughts flawlessly pouring in girl! :) the template is cool.. :) and happy holi to you :)

Dhanya said...

You made COMPLETE sense to me dear :) I dunno if that makes me weird or anything. Lol. Anyway, I agree with what you have to say here. It gets really suffocating (atleast, for me) when you spend all your available time only with your partner. Friends are really very important too!

Aneesh said...

it's all up to us... How we take a relationship.. whether someone is giving you too much love or too little.. it's all how we take
:)

Harshita said...

I get it all baby... I get it all ;)

I am gonna do things I want to and not wat I am expected to :D

Dewdrop said...

U have been tagged!!! :)

vanilla sky said...

The bottomline is that one should not ignore the already-there relationships for the sake of new ones, be it friends or parents.
As for friends,I can give you an example. A friend of mine refused to come to the bday party of another, just because she had just a casual meeting with her bf.Such incidents do hurt.
That off course doesn't apply to everybody and I'm sure you can balance both well :)

ANWESA said...

hmm...well...dunno wat 2 say gal..
ur crazy...but ur template is nice..i loved d template wid red bacground...(tho i hate wearing red)

Aditi..............:) said...

I love you because you are so true! Btw i had never known ur old template but this one looks cool! :P

Aditi..............:) said...

I love you because you are so true! Btw i had never known ur old template but this one looks cool! :P