Saturday, March 14, 2009

The thing called LOVE!?

Sometimes i wonder what is it drives people to love? they approach the object of that compelling love, risking rejection to confess his/her feelings. and then what? with time slowly love becomes a habit and soon its nothing but a charade. sounds cynical? its true.

I doubt if most people realize the kind of commitment or responsibility they are about to take up when they approach someone with their feelings. most often i see people going miles for the person they love but once they become sure of the other persons feelings they sit back and stop trying. nothing can be worse fate to this so called love when in the guise of stability habit takes over the spontaneity of love. when it comes to confessing the feelings people are too eager but when it comes to actually doing something for the relationship, most often people shy away. 'i love you' is replaced by "if you don't like me.. we can break up '.

What really vexes me is, why don't most men decide for themselves what they are getting themselves into when they decide for a relationship. okay i maybe a lil unfair here generalizing men, but hey i know there are good men around just that they are too few and unfortunately most of us girls are unlucky to have missed those genuine ones in our lives. i mean seriously, in the early courtship period, guys do everything in their capacity to impress to win love and attention from the girl, and once the target is achieved all that comes to a girl is neglect. because even if the girl gives the guy a hard time before saying a 'yes' to the relationship, but once the girl is committed she is totally loyal and dedicated, and the guys... well they stop doing anything once they get the girl they want.

love is such a sweet feeling. if you are in love with someone you want to make that special person feel loved and wanted, you want to make her feel like she is the most important one in life. you try and be there for her, stick up for her, protect her and give her not only what every girl deserves- love respect,trust and understanding; but also what she needs. you dont just take her for granted, throw attitude and expect her to keep the relationship running and do nothing to help her. if sitting back and seeing things get done something you want then why get into a relationship, if you cant be a man enough to be a good BF to her. is giving her a hard time, compelling her to kill her desires and wants from her relationship, what a girl deserves? most honest men, make a woman feel loved and wanted. they pull out the stops, to be the best man she encountered, they would make the girl feel loved not just on Valentines day but make every day a Valentines day. and yes such men exists, just that men nowadays are wimps who need girl friends to show off and care two hoots for the girl they are with. such men are wimps and total mamma's boys good-for-nothing morons, who get into a relationship for the sake of it, not knowing the true meaning of love.

If this is what love is, i wish i never knew love. because what i thought was just my problem turns out to be a mass problem, one that almost every girl in a relationship is facing.Singledom truly rocks! i wish i could go back to those days, where despite being single, i was never alone, i was in love with 'love' but never felt the need to love someone, and surely there was no heartache. truly those were the best days of my life. love is but an illusion.

P.S- DONT bombard me with are you okay's please. im fine. just plain bitter and disappointed about my experiences. nothing serious though. so please dont jump into conclusions.

22 comments:

ANWESA said...

singledom is gr8.but u cant run away 4m relationships all ur life.der is a sweet pleasure in pain. as regards ur post,it is true.sometimes best ppl dont share "best" relationship.

Phoenix said...

@anwesa
o right! tell me about it..hmphh!!

Netika Lumb said...

Love isn't an illusion, a true relationship is.
Being Thoughtful isn't an illusion, commitment really is.
Concern and understanding aren't illusions, telepathy is.
These are all what need to make things work in life. These are things which go beyond what the Oxford defines them to be.Unfortunately, we mix the illusion for reality and vice versa, this my friend, makes life a challenge. And rightly so, no?

yamini meduri said...

no comments this time....i think i told you what all i can...so not again here...!!!

Good Luck dear..!!!

the pink orchid said...

Well, I'd say I will understand... the woman in you is at one of its best in expressing herself.. :)

Dhanya said...

Aww.. don't sound so down, sweety! Try to think all positive things of ur relationship. Atleast u have someone u can fight with and get back to when one of you calms down ;) People who are single are craving for a relationship.. and the people who are in a relationship are craving for singledom! Not good no ? :(

americanising desi said...

i have just watched 'nights in rodanthe' and i am very filmi now :)
The initial feelings associated with love were almost like an ocean wave in their intensity, acting as the magnetic force that drew two people together. IT was possible to be washed away in the emotion, but the wave wouldn’t last forever. It couldn’t – nor was it meant to be – but if two people were right for each other, a truer kind of love could last forever in its wake. In the end, it’s worked out because we both want it to. As long as you two have that, you’ll be able to make it through anything.

comfortably numb said...

thts the love of this age for u!!!
n actually the glass cuts both ways really...*sigh*

comfortably numb said...

oh btw...y do I see my name written as vickram in ur blogroll???

Mithe said...

I don't agree-love is not an illusion!
It is something that seeps into hearts and cannot be taken away...how else can you explain the arranged marriage system? People staying together for 25 years and even 50 years-there must have been something to make them be together and that something is-love. The only difference is they were never BF's or GF's.They were husband and wife from the starting point of their love story

Jinxed Pixie said...

methinks....

hmm...

ok, this is way beyond me..
completely an alien territory..

i won't do justice you know?
so maybe i'll refrain from commenting...

but i can say for sure that most of the things you said about men back there were certainly true..

Jinxed Pixie said...

check the rest of your posts...

:)

cause I have commented..

*feels important*

Arnab Majumdar said...

That post was - well - interesting... and don't worry, I won't give you all that "It's gonna be okay, hang in there" bullshit. What I will say, however, is that you got one thing totally right - singledom is great! :D

A real relationship happens through the efforts of all the people involved, and when even one side lags in that, it's the beginning of the end from that point on. Anyway, there's no real point in going on with this... so, I'll end up by saying, well expressed, like always.

Cheers... no, really. :)

bondgal_rulz said...

Love is a myth we all WANT to believe in,desperately.

Indrajit said...

Hi -

Read a few of ur posts.

Well,everything around us is illusion, in a facade of reality...

Tc..

Rahul Viswanath said...

As the song goes .....
LOVE me for a reason & let the reason be LOVE !!!

Prashant Sree said...

Well, that definitely gives boost to the Singledom...

And i wonder if u forgot that people before getting committed would care two hoots about love. The words "I love you" are no more than stereotyped words !!

But nice to see someone delving so deep into the true meaning of love.

joiedevivre said...

ok ok callin cease fire..
shantiii..shantiii..
i agree to what you fell not completly but yess.. partly..
no furthur bombardingss :P

joiedevivre said...

feel*

Chriz said...

i am single and i am loving it... but anyways i wanna see the other side of the river too.. explore raka girl.. you never know the grass myte even feel very good

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Already so many people have said lot of things about it.

Well, Yes Singledom is always the best,no matter how lonely you feel...
Its human nature to take things for granted sometimes and he/she is doing a mistake by doing so..
People shudnt be taken for granted...point to be noted...

Once one realizes, i am sure things will change.

One mistake girls do is they completely give themselves to their mates, which is wrong in some sense..that is what i feel...
You shouldn't loose your state JLT.
Initially when you make an impression , from there on story starts and boys take things that way i guess. So when someone praises your beauty, it simply implies they are attracted towards beauty and not you...
Once you get married and once all that happens..they just change the way they use to think of you...
In Hindi we have a saying...
"dur ke dhol suhaavne"...
i hope u understood what i tried to justify...
Whatever you told will be missing in those stories , where in both he and she were best friends and decided to tie knot...
let me know if that was clear and made any sense at all... :)
i will be waiting...
BTW it was a very realistic post i read after so many days...:)
keep writing...:)

Neethu said...

".....in the early courtship period, guys do everything in their capacity to impress to win love and attention from the girl, and once the target is achieved all that comes to a girl is neglect. ....... but once the girl is committed she is totally loyal ...., and the guys... well they stop doing anything once they get the girl they want......"

true...so very true..yea n singledom rocks!!!until maybe u find the right guy!:D