Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Fleeting Emotions...

The past two weeks have been really rough on me... with hordes of entrances... and semesters knocking at my door.. i have hardly slept for 10 hours in the last 72 hours.. i didnt have the time to even breath let alone to heave a sigh....yea i know you couldn't guess with the regular flow of posts and all.. :) but that's how i am.. i blog like crazy when all i should be doing is study.. like i should now.. ya i have one more test to go.. that is tomorrow :) now now don't get angry... i will make it all in good time..trust me...blogging is therapeutic for me...yes i have an accute case 'blog-o-mania" :)

As i type this I'm caressed by the cool breeze that whisper of the storm that is soon to follow...i feel a lot empty inside...my niece has gone back home or the next few days to be with her parents and here i am feeling a lot lost.. i don't know which one is better..cribbing that she practically sleeps all over me ensuring that i have a eventful night battling her kicks and snuggles.. or miss the warmest of hugs i get before i finally succumb to sleep.. since she came to live with me with measles life is no longer the same...my room has been taken over..even my cupboards captured but strangely today almost 4 months to the date..i feel so accomplished and so peaceful.. because with her mere presence Roshni [my niece] just calms me down and fills colour to my life... inventing a new name everyday, or scurrying home, or surprising her with little somethings every time i return home, to those delightful melting moments when delighted by the money i give her she runs to the shop near by for her favourite ice-cream to those sneaky chocolate sessions... these now seems such an integral part of my life.. i wonder what i am to do if i am to leave the city.. or how she is going to survive once i am gone.. :) kids are such  darlings i tell you.. to have such darlings I'm ready to overcome my phobia about giving birth it really is worth it...

ICSE results were declared today and my student fared really well and i feel so proud of her. We started of being teacher and student but at the end of an year I'm her mentor and then her friend. Knowing the mental conditions she was going through from almost every quarter of life, its a miracle she did so well.. and i am one happy teacher.. it feels great finally to see something you gave life to become successful it is one hell of a accomplished feeling... Congratulations Sushmita!! here's to newer shores and broader horizons!! Cheers!! :)

I have been having pretty harrowing time.. with a range of emotions changing with rapid succession.. fear, anger,depression,hope,anger, happiness and despair and hope again..not it is not just PMS but life for sure...i feel i have aged manifold in the month..i could have broken down in despair and given up the fight but i choose not to, i took risks.. i did whatever i could to nurse my dream and see it to completion... the rest.. is on God and what he wants to fashion my life...but whatever it is.. i am ready...i am ready to give it my best, to dare to dream, to achieve and face the verdict whatever it maybe... 

After more than a year of despair... there is a glimmer of hope...prayers maybe answered..labour may just be rewarded... *keeping my finger crossed*  may peace and prosperity be restored, may the good times come, and are here to stay..

the storm clouds seems to have been blown away... literally soo.. :( so this is to be a rain-less night! sigh! damn! yes now i must get back to my books... tadaaa :)

20 comments:

Hopeless Romantic said...

all the best for the exams and take life as it comes...u would see it nt that difficult !

have fun!

keep in touch !
amit

Mayz said...

jus another day b4 u r freeeeeee!!!

then u'll have lotsa time to screw life :)

AD said...

you deewani larki!

ANWESA said...

congrats to a young teacher err..friend!! its sad to know dat u n roshni ll miss each other but all dark clouds have a silver lining.n ur work ll b rewarded lady!just smile...

Jinxed Pixie said...

you know what?
you are pretty awesome for a human being...
we rarely find people like you these days..
:)
I know this is totally out of context, but this is what I feel every time I read your posts..

here's to the most awesome teacher in the world!!!
:*

Ria said...

cute post. All the best babe!! :)

vanilla sky said...

Congratulations to the teacher in you and all the best to the student in you :)

Harshita said...

All the best oye... and ur prayers will be answered for sure... bas mann lagaa ke pado... love u.

The Pink Orchid said...

all the best for your last exam... the way you talk of your niece, it makes me miss my maasi so much.. :(

Dhanya said...

Hey! What a coincidence! Even I blogged about my niece yesterday :D

Sumit said...

u r a crazy chick!! dats all I can say..
best of luck for tomorrow...

NE~ISM said...

I know you will do awesome tomorrow on your exam.. and great that you helped out someone and they did such a great job.

I love my niece the way you love yours also.. She is everything to me as yours. Whatever you do and wherever you go, things are going to work out great for you.

Ne

yamini meduri said...

hi Phoenix

such diverse topics in just one post...you rock girl..!!!

Hows Roshini yaar?? hello to her...!!!

The last line were so good....go on girl...you can achieve your dreams..!!

Good wishes for ur xams...!!!

Arv said...

take care mate...

keep smiling :)

cheers...

ki said...

All the best sweets! Ho jaayenge and your labour will be rewarded FOR sure!

Pallav said...

Dont worry.. god is thr.. to help u out
trust him
all the best

Arnab Majumdar said...

I can completely relate to what you said about blogging being "therapeutic." I feel the same way when I sit down to write something. Don't get the time to do it so religiously anymore though, so I'm somewhat missing it...

Best of luck for the exams. Cheers, and keep blogging.

Cяystal said...

Nieces are ultra cute..bt its ultra bad when you don't have time for them :(..
oh yez..me is back!

яノςんム said...

hmmm.. i know, times come and times go, but there always is a reason to look forward to what comes after this present..
isnt it??

LOV!!

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

All the best raka..:)

Come back again soon... :)