Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's day!


Yea i remember its mothers day.. i think every dutiful child will wish their mother on such a beautiful occasion... I'm just plain handicapped when it comes to such things...its just that i feel plain awkward... i read quite a few posts on mothers day and i felt i just had to write this one.. and this is just for my ma...

Dear Ma,

you know i really do remember its mothers day. no i didn't wish you because i don't you are worth it.. but i didn't because i couldn't muster the courage to do it..but as i read scores of posts celebrating mothers day i feel ashamed... ashamed that even though i feel the love, even though i want to i cant just walk up to you.. i know its as simple as walking to you and hug you tight and whisper it to you...i just wish i wasn't this way... i wish i could make you feel on top of the world on this day...

i wish i could just get you the breakfast in bed... but i didn't do it because i didn't want you to think i am capable of doing it. i feared that you will make me do it everyday if you knew i could.. :D somethings i just love you doing it... know what?? no matter what happens i love being fed by you.. its not that I'm lazy or i just want to create more troubles for you... its just that i love it this way... no i will never ever admit it to you.. :)

i wish i could gift you something worthwhile... but i cant now... but trust me... i will someday... i will give you a comfortable life, lots of love and all that you deserve but never got...but more than which i will make you proud.. i will be someone and then you can flaunt me with your friends...

know what ma? we have these huge fights... massive ones...and it really bugs me when you cry... because all i want is for you to fight me..not because i enjoy a good fight[ yea i do..] but i want you to stand up for yourself... sometimes i feel like your mom than you as mine.. because you are just to soft hearted..you just are plain lucky you have dad as your hubby who keeps you like a some china doll.. and shields you from all hardship.. but i want you to be independent to walk away from dad's shadow and show the world you can.. because i know you can.. and i know how you hate being totally dependent on others... here's something i want to tell you.. yea we do have these serious fights.. i do tell you terrible things.. but an argument doesn't mean i hate you... it just means we have our difference of opinion...it just pains me to see you nurture the wrong notion that i don't care a bit.. i may seem stoic but I'm not... i do care.. believe me i do.. :) nope id never say these things to you ever...

you know i truly feel blessed having you as my mom... yeah i know you will probably have a heart attack if you read or if you knew this one... but i do.. trust me i have been feeling a whole lot confident about my life ahead because of you.. since the day you changed your notion about my leaving the city [ earlier: "isn't there a good college in kolkata? do you have to leave?" now: "go live your life... have the career you want.. I'm there for you.."] you have no idea just how much it means to me...with your belief on me, i know i can if i try... you are always a comfort when i make you choose fingers, trying in my silly immature ways to determine if i will actually get through the college i want...and every time you choose the wrong finger.. and i ask you "ma i will get through na? i wont have to stay here na?" you boost my confidence by saying "why not? you deserve it... you have worked hard.."

ma i wont ever say these things ever in as many words... i never will.. but i know if i did it would have made life a lot better for you.. i know you think you have two daughters who are nothing like you...who are always warring with you...all you need to do is to see beyond that strong stoic exterior... read in between my lines... look into my eyes... even though you have a rebellious daughter... who will ensure you have tears in your eyes.. who will not listen to a word you say... who will never be what you want her to be... but you have a daughter who loves you... who doesn't know how to say it...

i wish you and dad had a bit more faith on me... i wish you guys could take me for granted, and believe that id be there for you. despite being born a girl... i know society believes that girls are born to be being married and gone,one can hardly do anything for their parents but you know i am the son you never had...believe that i will never let you down.. believe that i can give up my dreams and the one person i love if only to please you.. know that for me you and dad comes first... know that even though a thing doesn't appear doesn't mean it doesn't exist.. know that i love you.. i really do....

with lots of love hugs and kisses... i hope dad wont mind will he??... now now i hope you wont spank me.. you know I'm a big perverted soul when it comes to you..i still enjoy sleeping with you on summer afternoons you know.. :P [all puns intended :D ] mom with you i know i can dare... because you are you.. my mom... and don't ever forget i was the first one to tell you what a 'smooch' was... and those demonstrations too!! :)

Here's wishing you a very happy mothers day!! may i be blessed with you as my mom forever and always.... you are my super mom... with your generous heart, kind nature.. tearful ways and you beautiful smile...

and o yeah... please come out of the cold attitude you have adopted towards me of late due to the fight we had on last Tuesday.. i have forgotten it by the way!! and I'm rather scared dad will notice and ask me why things are so stiff!! come on now... smile :) and lets kiss and make up? mwuaah... that was a smooch you know.. if you let me that is....

love you ma... just be the inspiration you are to me always.. and do keep smiling... because you look like a dragon ready to explode when you don't smile :) and that makes me feel scared... :)

your rebellious
Pupu

P.S: do read this I'm sure you will like it.. its an earlier post of mine.. i had by mistake deleted it... but somehow i managed to retrieve it... its befitting this situation.. would love it if you comment on this one.. please... sorry for the trouble

P.P.S: i dint mean to get all senti here... but when it comes to mothers one cant help it... :)

P.P.P.S: do scroll down to the previous post too please.. yea this means its two posts in a span of a few hours... blame it on exam tensions please... :)

20 comments:

Mayz said...

ok both d posts had me in a different emotion...this one had me all smilin...
kinda shocked too...u demonstrated a smooch for ur mum??? :o :o
it made me laff...**i feared that you will make me do it everyday if you knew i could.** lol

n d other one well it had me in tears...i miss my mom...thou shez in d other room

Mayz said...

oh n pic of u n ur mom is jus so adorable...its so awwww!!!

she must b really proud to have a daughter like u...n yes even u shud treat ur mom like a china doll...shez so cute...i wud love to meet her some day

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

First of all Happy Mother's day to u and to ur sweet mom..

please wish my mom the same..:)

BTW..u looks so cute in that pic with ur mom..:P

Cheers...

Harshita said...

haha... No-one else but youcan do this... tell ur mom wat a smooch is and demo it... LOL

Ur mom is one brave soul I tell you, to put up with u (ask me?) *wink* *wink*

Iss sab mein.. the best part is you realised ur immense love for her...and BTW can I adopt her?? or will she adopt me?... she is so adorable.

NE~ISM said...

I think we all at one time or another take our mothers for granted, ok, I will say I have.. At the same time Mother's are Priceless and this post proved this to many!

We are given a day by the Nation to Wish our parents Happy Mothers Day when it should be mothers day all year round. I am glad you Love your mom the way you do and you are NOT ashamed to let us all know!

Wonderful post.. I am going to read the other one now!!

Happy Mother's Day to your mommy!

Nehya

яノςんム said...

it is lovely.. sniff sniff!!

i so know.. i wrote the post and let my mom read it :)
i know everyone has things with their moms
its called genration gap. but it doesnt mean we dun love our moms and they too stop loving us..

one thing for sure is, moms will always be moms and keep loving us and stand by us any any time. even though we hurt her and fight with her.. :)

Dr Roshan R said...

funny isnt it, how we keep hurting the ones we love the most.. its so easy to show our friends we care... but somehow even if we want to, we end up hesitating when its our own family sometimes..

thats been my case anyway... :)

Astraeus said...

yay.
am glad your exam went well, raka :-)

don't worry you will do brilliantly
and now finally, best of luck for tomorrow's i Know we all need it, but you need it more since your answers will be what i will be writing in mine. :-P

heh heh
love.

xx

AD said...

mother.... what are we without them :)
the sweet souls just love so much and sometimes i feel so bad cuz i dont listen to what she has to offer!
yes i love my mom!
and there is no replacement for her!
ever!

The Pink Orchid said...

One sentence- I felt you talked my heart out.. :(

Kartz said...

You spoke on everyone's behalf. And it is rather evident!

Ah well, mothers aren't mothers for nothing! They will worry, get tensed, panic, fret and there is nothing much we, as kids, can do about it. As they say - resistance is futile. :)

A heartfelt composition. And absolutely endearing.

If you ask me, every day should be Mum's/Dad's (and yes!) Children's Day! Celebrating *life*!

Peace. Be well.

---
Thank you for stopping by to leave a note. I appreciate your time.

Your webspace sure is pleasant, too. :)

See you around.

Peace.

Pallav said...

i felt it was direct dil se...
lovely post

thanks for the warm comment....

thank u so much...

Pallav

ki said...

choooooo chweet!
did she read it? :)

Arv said...

kewl one.. hope your mom read it and had a lovely day... :)

take care da... cheers...

Arnab Majumdar said...

That was very sweet :) I'm sure ur Ma loved this post...

Cheers...

Kartz said...

Good to make your acquaintance in blogsville! And it is a pleasure to return your kind gesture. :)

Peace. Have a nice day.

Ria said...

Moms are so so adorable arnt they!! :) Well i gifted my mom a bag full of assorted gifts.

Chriz said...

one was kinda sad..and one made me smile...

but at the end of it all, momma rocks..

maa tujje salaam

:)

ANWESA said...

hmm..dat was a letter well written..i hope u n ur mom turn out 2 b the most rocking duo on earth..(its possible dear!!!)

Dhanya said...

Aww.. your mommy is really pretty :) Heart warming post, Raka...