Friday, June 26, 2009

Its time to say Goodbye



Tears blur my vision as i type this. i cant believe he has gone without me even getting a chance to say my goodbyes. it seemed that fate was conspiring against us, first the phone wouldn't connect, when it did he was busy, then i was supposed to call him back but then it slipped my mind, when i called the call got disconnected even before i had a chance to say goodbye. Shubankar left for MASSCOM Kottatayam today to pursue his childhood dream in Journalism, without a so much as a goodbye.

i waited...waited a long time...for this pain to subside...the pain that threatens to tear me apart..my lips are pursed but the tears are tireless...i don't know what next everything gets all the more murkier...i cant believe i wont have him around anymore..he has been so integral to me and to my life.. it was as if he was always around protecting me.. guiding me around and now with him gone.. i feel as if the life is squeezed out of me..soon it will be time when i will have to say my goodbyes too..


i know with time i will get used to him not being around... i know there will come a day when not keeping in touch on a regular basis will seem usual but at the moment life seems impossible..for as i write the train takes him further away from me.. i know Richa says friends can never part unless they want to.. but then there are times when things are not in our hands.. like even after wanting to meet him real bad we both haven't managed to meet each other in more than a month...all i remember now is seeing him for the very last time a little over a month back, as i got off the bus and him waving at me promising to meet... it never happened... maybe all this is for good, for had i known it was our last meeting it would have been even more painful.

now as i think back to us i am filled with gratefulness of having met such a beautiful person who became one of my closest friend...memories flood in and i am reminded of how despite being in a huge crowd on the first day at college we managed to sneak out time together..how that day waiting to take our electives i told him about Samik.. he was the first one to know about him...how those winter afternoons we would sit huddled under the blanket studying... the winter sun playing on our toes as we sat on the ledge of the veranda as our toes touching each other...how i will miss his deep baritone voice calling out to me every morning "Man you are looking hot!" those endless hours at the library where in between study sessions we managed ample time to just irritate each other like crazy...


i don't know what future holds.. maybe we will again sometime...maybe despite wanting we will never make it... but what matters is we will always have each other in our hearts knowing what others could never know...that there is a love much greater than that which is shared by a man and woman, a love that is defined by a powerful and meaningful word called friendship. What matters now is that both of ours dreams of becoming journalist is coming true in one way or other and we must work hard to achieve it..i know it wont be easy to not be around but we will always remain safe in each others memories until we meet again... and we will... someday..

25 comments:

ANWESA said...

hugzzzzzzz....

(words can't fathom ur pain,i kno dat...)

freelancer said...

its gonna be alrite...
that's what i can say...
cz its what others told me when the same thing happened with me 3 years ago....it was tough alright....bt now its ok again.....it stil feels like we neva got separated.

hugz gal

muthu said...

May be time heals... but of course -- the one other thing I love time 4 other than healing is that-- it gives U moments tat U can cherish....


May be, People will get used to distance relationships but then does distance really matter when people care 4 each other....

Netika Lumb said...

Oh.. Don't worry.. Where hearts are true, distance can make no difference.. Besides, you know it's always the quality that matters and the fact that you are still imp for each other..
Maintain that, and life will be a roller coaster ride :)

all the best :)

joiedevivre said...

rasugulla kha...chill marr...phone, internet sab hai aapne pass...sab touch mein rahenge tere frnds..

Arv said...

hmmm... I have parted ways with some people who have been good friends... but tell you wat... even if I get a chance to talk with them... i would still talk to them as a good friend :)

so in a way, the good bye is never really a good bye forever :)

take care da.. cheers...

Qi said...

*hug*

you'll always keep each other in your hearts :)

MultiMenon said...

C'mon...be grateful for the fact tht u aren living in an age wer there are no fones,internet,blogs,e-mails and all tht..

You will for sure stay connected through all this.I somehow dun get u completely at times though.. :I

Huggggzzzz

Nikhil

Pranav Kumar V said...

well, its always best and purely understood only by the two involved... I know because I know!! And yeah, the first few days... all those vines of loneliness, pain-of-separation, and all of that entangle you. But all it takes is a little bit of 'getting-used-to'. The smallest of the small gestures will be the most significant things in life from now on... Who knows?? Maybe a blank letter posted... a surprise call/mail...

Theres all of this happening and then there's life... just goes on!!

Hope you'll make it to the other end smiling and happy... :)

TC!!

See you when I see you... :)

Jinxed Pixie said...

think of it like this:
with each passing second, you're nearing the time you'll meet him again..
:)

Tickled pink said...

very beautifully expressed.really heartfelt n touching.

Pallav said...

ohho...
just chill dnt atk tension n dnt think itna sab
hugs for u
:)

Pallav

Shrutilaya said...

*higs tight*

You'll get through it :)

comfortably numb said...

I just had two of my absolute bestest friends leave for Chennai and Delhi...I can understand:(

Kartz said...

This too shall pass, buddy... Physical distances won't tarnish a true relationship. Good friends won't allow that! :)

Take care... Good luck!

Peace.

яノςんム said...

awww. baby :)

cheer up, u guys will be touch trust me :)

and u have quote me, tht says all..

one has to follow their dreams, move on with life, but frnz are the part of memory which never fades away :)
u'll remember all those moments u spent with him so will he.. u guys wont forget each other na.. ths wat matters and the best part is u'll be able to catch up from the point where u left :)

HUGZ!!!

Priya Joyce said...

I second anwesa...

hugsssss dear..tc...u'll be fyn..:):)

AD said...

a tight hugggggggggggggggg!!!!

life is all about moving on with the ride you are on.
do stopo and ponder but dont chain yourself!

Mayz said...

oye...its upto u if u wanna end d frenship...

Miss Kido said...

Very well written...

Hugs :)

Take care...

Manish said...

Excellent depiction of your thougths. I am stunned.

Ya, can understand the agony of separation, but as you rightly said, he has gone to realise his dreams as a freind you need to support him and yourself to achieve your dreams.

Just think, here you are apart to realise your dreams and have almost certain chance to meet, imagine the pain of separation for ever, when even if you want you cannot meet or touch or say goodbye, when one of your best freind leaves you for his heavenly abode.

And trust me i have lived through those separation.

Good luck

rabbit said...

u guys will meet up if u want too...
it's all your choice dear

tc

Harshita said...

Keep in touch thru mails.

Hota hain... at times you dont get a chance to say those bubyes... but then it is not the end of the world... stay in touch with him...

Richa is right... and I think in one sentence she has summed it up all.

Take care and dont cry now... chalo chalo

Keshi said...

R'ships are abt meeting and separating. In life, it happens all the time. ppl come and go. Even the ones we believe will always be with us, will leave us some day...or we will leave them before they do.

Im sure u will be ok. Cos there were times that I thought I cud never live w.o. some ppl in my life..somehow, Im still living :)

*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Rakesh Vanamali said...

All of life is a journey, my dear friend, of partings and meetings and on and on! In truth, only you remain for yourself!