Saturday, December 31, 2011

This Year That Was...

Keeping my tradition of writing "This year that was", I write down the events that made me, broke me, scarred me and I believe made me stronger.



For the first time since I left college, I felt I was living a life I had always dreamed of professionally. I felt strong independent and I was surrounded by friends with whom I connected like a dream. I laughed, I drank galleons of coffee, made CCD richer, laughed some more and felt the pain of loving someone tearing me apart. I traveled a lot, wrote passionately, read avidly, missed tremendously, loved fiercely, lived resiliently. Until my perfect world came crashing down, panic, fear and longing for the loved one made me uproot myself, from friends, from a place which was my second home. The moment I reached this new place which has took me in readily, I knew the mistake I had committed but then there was no turning back.. The more I struggled.. more I was sucked into the quicksand and since then I have never really managed to make my way out.



Highlights

I know there are a million things gone bad this year but there were a few things that made me feel happy and made me smile and I'd rather recount the many blessings.
  • I found an amazing friend in my colleague Sreeranjini. People at work tried to separate us, played petty politics but we stuck it through and when it was time for me to go, I guess I realized just how close we had become over the months and those millions mugs of coffee we drank till it became an addiction.
  • Srimoyee- She is one of my best friends. We know each other since the first day of school in KG. We have always been close friends, but this year we both found solace in each other, gave strength to each other and together we fought out our battles, tried hard to stay afloat, encouraged each other and kept fighting as depression and ill-luck tried to pull us down.
  • My brother (cousin) got married. His marriage brought the entire family close and I came closer to the brother whom I have always loved dearly but family strife always kept us away. My sis in law kinda cemented our bond and kept us closer.
  • My niece (Roshni) became my close friend. She was and will always be my baby but somewhere she had grown up and took up her place as a friend, where she would ask, admonish and be there for me just like my friends would. Of course the child in her would surface every time she would find out that I have been out without her and having fun irrespective of the fact that I am several thousand miles away from her. I am still her territory whom she is unwilling to share with anyone.
  • Vaidehi- she understood, supported, scolded and knocked some sense in me each time I was under the weather. Though we could manage to meet up this year, the longing to meet has kept us together. Been almost a year and a half since we left college but the bond just got stronger in time.
  • Shubhankar- He is my lodestar. Words cannot summarize just what he means to me. He has, he is and will always remain the one person I can run to when the world comes crashing down. My rock, my friend and my guide, he is indispensable!!
Lessons
  • No one in life is perfect. Perfection is a myth. It is important to grow out of childhood notions of perfect love, perfect love of life, perfect relationship or face the consequences of it when it breaks.
  •  Its good to be impulsive if you are responsible enough to deal with whatever happens as a consequence.
  • There are some relationships which you must let go, no matter how much you love or try once the trust is lost there is no point in struggling to keep things going. It may not be easy but it is the only way.
  • Give your love wholeheartedly but be prepared to have your heart broken.
  • There will not be a soul when you need some comforting, if you are lucky then the loved ones are there. It does not make them bad people but humans. So be self sufficient and face the problem.
  • The best things about you is YOU
Hopes and prayers for the New Year

  • More strength to deal with whatever comes my way
  • To allow the head to rule over the heart
  • To have the life I have always wanted
  • To stand up for myself and do the right thing
  • To let go and start afresh
Wishing you a very Happy New Year! May this year bring you lots of happiness, love and prosperity galore!! 

2 comments:

The Pink Orchid said...

I needed to read this post. Yes and I derived a lot of strength from this one. May you meet more people who become friends and stay with you forever. Big hug to you girl! Cheers!

Anwesa said...

Happy new year honey !