Friday, January 06, 2012

This maddness called ME

You know me. You know how my journey of life has been. You have witnessed it all. But you donot know who this mad person is, who writers of this blog. So just for fun, here are a few funny quirks about me.

  • I'm a girl who will stick post ids all over, be it my work station, my cupboard, kitchen everywhere. It ranges from quotes, reminders, things to do/buy lists
  • I am a maha lists person, i make a list for everything.
  • I have a thing with washing. I am forever washing, towels, linen, clothes. If I did not have a professional career I'd be a washer woman. 
  • I have a huge sock fetish. I keep buying socks. I have some 100 pairs of them, of different colour and types.
  • I love reading romantic novels. I end up crying secretly. 
  • I cant write fiction which is not a love story.
  • I am very idealistic when it comes to relationships and love.
  • I talk to myself, a lot.
  • I smile in my sleep
  • I am a cleanliness freak
  • I simply love chocolates and ice creams
  • I'm overtly sentimental and get hurt very often
  • I love cooking and main meri favourite hoon! :)
  • I smile when thoughts come to my head, be it while walking, shopping, or even traveling. People often think I am some weirdo
  • I forgive but I never forget
  • I have a phoenix tattoo and I simply love it!
  • I often reply memories in my head over and over again before I fall asleep
  • I love babies and my insides hurt to think of the future I have chosen for myself
  • All my stuff toys have names
  • I love mushrooms
  • I'm a complete bookworm and spent all my money buying them
  • I have curly hair and I simply love it
Btw if you haven't guessed I am a Virgo... yeah that explains the freak in me no??!!

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

This N That

I came across this picture in a couple of blogs I was reading today and found it perfectly goes with the current mood that I am in.

Of late I am consumed with this feeling that used to persist in the early days of blogging. I wanted to, I did and I just could stop: Blogging. And I am back. I donot have something very significant to share, no poems, no gyan and no fiction. Just a thought. I began this year with vowing to break away and have a fresh start and finally I took a step towards future. I booked my tickets for going home (Bangalore). I know the journey will be beset with a lot of heartburn, pain and anguish and it will never agree with what I always believed, that I can never walk away from people I love. But I need to do this, and this one is for me, for my future and for me to have the life I deserve to have. Selfish as I may sound but for the first time in my life I am doing something that I really want to. Hope this is for the best!

Have you had random people, people you donot even know making you smile and brightening your day?? Well something just happened. I had a very busy and active day on Twitter. I had people mentioning me, talking, DMing me, adding me to groups, retweeting and I truly and completely felt alive and happy but more than which I let off a silent prayer. I am thankful for all of the activity that took place around. I felt loved and worthwhile and it was truly something!! And after a long time i believe I smiled, truly from my heart.

Okay so this post is not really going my way and its suddenly going off track. Ohh by the way did I tell you I am reading "The Immortals of Meluha" by Amish Tripathi and I have also purchased his second book, "The Secret of the Nagas". It really is interesting and well Shiva is hawwtt and what more he speaks like "Say yes dammit!" Really entertaining! But there is a story behind this book. I wanted to gift something to this friend for Christmas, but I was too pissed. But then when I received a box of chocolates as gift, I knew Id have to return the favour. You know izzat ka sawal hai and all that! So I went and got my friend "Immortals of Meluha" hoping to read it myself and I did just that and something more. I borrowed the book right back within a few days. It was like ek dheel se do nishana types!! I literally chuckled at my smartness!! After all, everyone has been recommending the book and I still hadn't read it. My friend obviously passed a snide remark that I am reading the book without consent but who cares, I surely didn't but then it happened. Due to my own carelessness I managed to spill coffee on the very book which was a gift from me. Now what? Thankfully Flipkart came to my rescue, got the same book at a discounted price and got its sequel too. So now I have a copy of my own, albiet with tea stains. And that's how I salvaged my izzat (what was remaining that is!) I think I should also make a resolution of being less clumsy this year.. what do you think? Ohh by the way, did I tell you that I had managed to almost burn my house down? O.. I just woke up one morning very sleepy, so I just went and switched on the water heater. After sometime i woke up to find fire and smoke. Even though I had switched on the heater I had forgotten to put it in the water, so the rug on which it was kept, caught fire!! YES I Know!! How careless can I be?! Yes this careless!! Really I think its time to take that oath and end this clumsiness or at least curb it?

Hope you are having a good week?

Monday, January 02, 2012

Shadow of Darkness

He got into the cab that was waiting for him just outside the airport. Settled in the cab, he pinched the bridge of his nose while loosening his tie. It had been quite a week. All this traveling to and fro was not doing anything for his health, pocket or his personal life but then it was a gamble he had to play, for as long as it lasted.

As the car sped on, his thoughts drifted to her. It had been a been a rough few weeks, he had hardly had time to be home, to talk to her, hold her and to top it off he had been extremely edgy and had snapped at her unnecessarily. Strangely she had been silent, hardly reacting and rather calm. He knew his approach hadnt been right and this time he mentally swore that he will set things right as soon as he got home! Home...funny how he kept referring to the homes he had...he suppressed a devilish chuckle, let the world think what they want, for now and as long as it lasted, home was with her. He just could wait to get home, hug her close, make love to her till exhaustion and reassure his love for her. He made a mental note to take the day off the next few days and spend quality time with her. He had to. This time unlike other times he felt something was not right. He couldn't place his finger on what it was but he had a strange restlessness that was eating him inside. 

As the car came to a stop, he stepped out and dragged his trolley behind him. Taking the keys out, he slowly climbed the stairs till he reached the door. He put the key in and turned and slowly pushed the door open. The house was in darkness. A sense of dread filled him. He hated coming back to an empty home but this was something else. He turned the light on. The house looked organized, neat and clean, just the way he liked. He took off his shoes and went to the bathroom to turn on the geyser for a nice long bath. She had stepped out he thought to himself and smiled inwardly. What a surprise it will be when she comes back and sees him.

He went to the washing machine and removed his socks and shirt and put them in. He then made his way to the cupboard to take his night clothes out. He had just opened the cupboard when he noticed the door to her cupboard slightly ajar, pushing it open he realized that her clothes, shoes, linen, books and jewellery was just not there. He turned back and looked at the dressing table, everything was intact, except that her things were not there. Her side of the nightstand did not have her regular stack of books or her charger or her glasses. He ran to the bathroom and opened the cabinet, her tooth brush was gone, so was her shampoo and other essentials. He went from the balcony, to the kitchen, opening cupboards, looking searching for one sign of her. But nothing was left. It was as if she had never been there.

Thoughts came thick and fast. Where would she be? Why had she gone?? When did she decide to leave? Why had she not told him? His head felt heavy and was ready to explode. His eyes was burning and he was hungry. But nothing mattered. She was gone! Like someone lost he went about trying to find something that would connect him to her. their photographs were gone. Her favourite mug from which she would sip her morning coffee, her collection of CDs, her books, her stuffed toy. Her arm chair wore an abandoned look, so he went and sat down holding his head on his hand. His cellphone beeped, Home calling.... he looked at the phone in an agitated way and switched it off. Tomorrow he would deal with his family, today he needed time alone.

As he walked back to the bedroom and sat down on his side of the bed he noticed the ring. It was the only that was left of her, no note, no email... he tried calling her phone but it was switched off, exhaustion and pain drained him completely, as tears brimmed his eyes. He couldn't believe that she had just gone without saying a thing. He felt angry, irritated and betrayed... How could she do this to him!! Anger boiled inside him and he tried remembering the last time he had seen her, she was standing at the door with a forlorn expression on her face but she dint say anything, she had even moved away when he moved in to hug her. Then he didnt think much, he knew he will set things right when he got back from home, maybe he should have been more sensitive... if onlys and maybes remain... As he saw the lights flicker on the wall and then darkness surround him, he knew he had lost her and this time she was gone forever and the pain was numbing but there was nothing he could do. He had always prepared her for the day he would be gone,with much resilience and stoicism but nothing had prepared him for the day he would lose her. Pain ripped him apart and guilt of what he had done to her made it difficult for him to breathe, the burden of the cross getting heavier by the minute but he knew this was his cross to bear and in a silent prayer he hoped against hope that someday she would have some love left in her to forgive him for wronging her.

The leaves of memory seemed to make
A mournful rustling in the dark

~The End~

Gajar Ka Halwa


Gajaar (carrots)
Cashew nuts
White oil
Choti Elaichi

Grate the gajjar (carrots), squeeze the water out. Fry the gajjar in white oil, add chotti elaichi. Add a cup of milk and keep stirring till milk thickens and the entire mixture becomes pasty. Add milk maid (half a tin, taste and see if more is needed) then add cashew nuts and raisins. Add a spoonful of ghee. Before serving sprinkle almonds broken into smaller pieces. Your gajjar ka halwa is ready.

No I am not turning me blog into a food blog. Yes, I learned how to make gajjar ka halwa recently and it came out really yummy. But primarily the reason why I am writing a post on gajjar ka halwa is because our life is like Gajjar ka halwa.

No dont scratch your head yet. Let me explain. One look at the ingredients and you know the outcome is bound to be good irrespective of the order in which you place them together. Think about it, the carrots needs to be grated and reduced to shreds for it to bring out the typical flavor. The ghee needs to be melted to add to the rich aroma, the milk maid blends in to made it taste heavenly. So is life. Life is made of a lot of things, we analyze and dissect life only when things go downhill, but essentially life is full of wonderful things added in right proportion. Imagine what it would be like if you were to add more milkmaid than prescribed? Even though it tastes heavenly, too much of it makes you feel giddy. If elaichi is chewed upon it gives a bitter taste otherwise it adds to the rich smell of the  dish.

Life is not easy... no one said it would be. Sometimes its bitchy, stabs you on your back, rapes your emotions and makes your existence seem like a sham. But then a little bit of positive attitude, will power with dallops of confidence can be worthy companions in the darkest hour. If you let life get the better of you, you may sink with no hopes of surviving. So make most of the opportunities that life brings your way and use every ingredient of life to suit you in the best way possible!!

Life is what you make it... you give it a chance and it rescues you right back.

Happy New Year!!