Thursday, March 22, 2012

Make him feel

Dear God
Make him feel the same things as she does
Let him feel the anguish
Of loving someone
Yet know the pain of sharing her

Let him feel torn inside
Each time he imagines
Her smiling at someone
The same way as she used to at him.
Hands touching her, which are not his.

Make him miss her
So much that it hurts
Even when she is right there beside him
Just the way she misses him
Everyday.

Let him wake up each day
Hurting, knowing that,
It may be their last day together.
The same way as she does.
Day in, day out.

Let him drift off to sleep
Knowing that tomorrow
She will lie in the loving arms
Of the one who will truly values her.
Let him cringe in pain.

Let him reminisce
Old times of fun and laughter
And wince in pain
Knowing that those days are now replaced
With someone who loves and cherishes her.

Let the pain
Be a constant reminder of
All those times when she reached out
And he had scorned her.
Let him feel the rejection too.

Let him feel her absence
Realizing her source of joy
Is no longer him
She smiles but at someone
who is not him.

Let him burn
Imagining her nursing
A child, who is not his
Let him seek salvation
But never find it
For he had wronged her.

For all those times he had wronged her,
Let him feel the rejection
And realize how unworthy he was of her love
Every time he saw her happy
In the arms of the man who truly loves her

Let him feel the loss
Let him feel the pain
Let him burn inside
Let him realize the wrongs
he had subjected her to

Let him value her
For all that she was
Knowing that he has lost her forever
Avenge her hurt and pain
And make her whole again!

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Echoes...


I look out at the city skyline stretched out in front of me. Tall buildings...twinkling lights...flights taking off or touching down nearby... cars below zip by...I look up at the moon.. the moon which is a steady companion...Soon it will be time to go home... to you. Thoughts reoccur and I am reminded of a lost time. An evening like today, except in a different place: after a hard day at work, I would stand drinking a cup of coffee staring at the moon, wondering how the sky, the stars and the moon were the only link that connected me to you, across the distance that stood between us. I used to wonder if my thought brought a smile on your face like before, if your eyes still twinkled when you smiled, those creases forming making you look even more endearing.... Tears would fill my eyes and a dull ache would spread all over me, numbing me. The thought that I may never set my eyes on you, that I’d probably always long and ache for you.. made me despair about love. That day, I never conceived that there would be a day when I’d wake up beside you, and fall asleep in your arms; and yet feel incomplete.

I observe quietly, I cry silent tears, I hope against hope, that we could make this moment count... I suffer, I take in the pain... looking beyond the troubles in fear of tomorrow that will not see us together, again. I hope you would notice how beneath the seeming calmness, there is a raging storm within. That, smiles often masquerade the anguish within. I see the disapproving look in your eyes, the harshness in your rebuke, and the stiffness in your gait  and I feel my insides cringe in pain. I know there will be a tomorrow, when there will be a ‘you’ and there will be a ‘me’ but ‘us’ will have to die... that day I’d lose everything, yet I will not be entitled to breaking down or to mourn. I’d have to take things in my stride.. I’d have to swallow the tears, bear the pain that would turn my insides out...while you will carry on with your life, just the way you had warned me you would, without so much as a thought about me. That day I would have to learn to live my life again and even though dull, the pain of having lost 'us' shall remain; forever.

That day I will wonder, which was better knowing that you were mine and out there somewhere but we can never be together or that we were together but that you were never mine...