Today is just one of those days when nothing is going right. Tolerance level is zero. I am swinging from highs to lows. Alternating between being hurt, angry, resigning to the pain or being just disillusioned. Damn you! September why do I lose so much when you come along!
Pain slices through me, I let you go bit by bit, tears brim but never slip out. Breathing becomes difficult, as I see you around knowing this is one of the last time.. very last time. I memorize your smile, the way your lips curl up. I read the pain in your eyes, I know you are looking for a sign that I am hurting too, no there wont be any for you to see. No there wont be another time. I keep telling myself, it will stop hurting as I walk on, I will myself to go on; breaking down comes so easy but I know that is not an option I have. Sometimes all I really want to do is to curl up and die, willing the end to come. No I dont do that, I know I have to do this, go through this, because there is no option left. Some more strength God!
This month always brings with it heartache galore... if I am losing you.. I am also questioning who I have become or who I will be when you are gone. While I am losing you.. I am accommodating people in my life once again.. so is it a sign? Or just a survival tactic?
Some tears will remain unshed till you leave.. because you truly deserve a grand farewell for all the good times we have had...
"Smile because it happened..don't cry because the good times are over, I celebrate because those good times happened!"