Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Words..

The lock opens easily as I push open the door to enter the tiny little pad I call home. Like a clockwork I shed the backpack, switch on the tv, flick the AC on and flip channels to set it to a music channel of my choice. Piling my hair on top of my head, I do my usual chores, the phone is set on charge on silent mode. Clothes are sorted and kept out to be worn post the shower. Dinner is prepared, in between tweets keep flowing, if a call is noticed, it is answered to with a sense of dismissed irritation. No I donot like talking on the phone. Dinner is had sans conversation, but of course, no I have stopped missing company. Life is pretty much like this, day in day out. No, no complains there..

There are nights when insomnia is tackled with some great reads, book reviewing has truly filled that void that has been eating into my existence. Relationships are missed but not in the truest of sense. While yes it would have been truly amazing to share my life but honestly I am yet to come across someone, even a friend who is willing to give just as much to a relationship. Friends primarily are a let down, even the long standing ones. I have seen them slip away one by one. Could be my doing.. but I am yet to come up with a reason why. I guess the problem with us as a generation is that we say or do things for the heck of saying or doing it, without understanding fully what we are really getting into.

Do you realize what it truly means when you say "I will be there for you through thick and thin?" have you been there for a friend who has braved your ill temper, your bad days, days when the world was a bitter place to be in? I do blame ego for it, most often we let ego rule not realizing ego has never been good enough for the relationships we live. Disillusioned about the relationships I have had in my life, and trust me I am not even meaning romantic ones. If a person cannot or should not be there for you, when you consider him/ a friend, how is it helping you anyway when you need someone the most? And we are not even talking about people who are not there by choice or sheer ignorance of being there for you. The end thing remains, when you want to just probably talk, may not even make sense, you have no-one around.

I say, know the scores and have just those who will be there or do as much for you, as you are willing to do for them. Do away with disappointment and misery because after all it is your life and you are the keeper of sanity and well being. Be there for yourself and do what needs to be done. Treat yourself as the doormat and see the world do the same to you.

Words, don't say what you donot mean. If said try and stick by it till the end, even if you find it hard. If you can't be there donot give your word for it! How hard is it? And if you think you have redundant relationships in your life, then make it clutter free, do away with what you can do without. If you dont love yourself, you can hardly expect others to do the same.

I won't say that following this has impacted my life in a revolutionary way, but I have been burnt way too many times for believing people when people say or imply "I will be there for you" and have not. I have been spurned in a way that it has left scars, when I have been there for people through thick and thin because of promising the same.

Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another. 
-Napoleon Hill


I take words very seriously and I can but lead by example. Hence, words are chosen with great thought, lest it impacts someone's life the way it did to mine..

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Because you loved me...

I belong to a family of 5 of which just one is a male member. I have for all of half a decade of life never been treated as a weaker sex. To be honest I never really felt being a girl child was something that is any different from being a boy. In fact when I look back I see a gangly me with unruly hair in shorts and tee playing cricket with my para (locality) boys. The only telling off I got from my parents was that I was out till late and that I needed to study and not how a girl should never wear shorts and play with boys.

It was only when I finally stepped out into the world I realized how Baba (my dad) was my first soldier. He stood between me and the world, protecting me and allowing me to have a mind of my own and to grow without a bias pulling me down. I made my own academic choices, I opted to study in a different city, since then I have moved three cities, each time I had my Baba as a silent companion who supported me throughout without any questions asked. Marriage talks and parental pressure is something that I have no clue about.

Over the years I have been lucky to have had colleagues and friends who never really made me feel that I belong to what is known as the "weaker sex". Baring a few male chauvinists that came along my way, friends, colleagues and loved ones have been a pillar of strength. They call to check on me but never impose their ideas or rules on me. As an independent working woman staying in a city of Delhi, ups the worry quotient in most but not once have i been victimized for my choice of profession, or my attire or my activates.

It is only when I come across other women who share their grievances about not being treated equally or being subject to a different set of rules I realize just how lucky I have been to have men in my life who have been like pillars of strength and like soldiers protected my right to an equal world. Be it that protective hand on my waist to propel me in a crowd, or the telephonic conversation from Baba who inquires about my well being, or that text that inquires if I reached home or that email that tells me that all I have to do when in need is to reach out. Thanks to the men in my life I know a world that is but a myth for most.

I walk tall, I live life freely, I voice my opinions strongly, I live my life by my rules, I am confident as a person and a firm believer of the innate goodness of mankind because the men in my life.

  This post is a part of #Soldierforwomen in association with BlogAdda.com