If you told me even a year back that there would be a time when we would meet, healed or pretending to have healed from the ravages of our past, as normal people would meet their loved one, be a friend or a colleague; I'd have disbelieved you. I still cannot overcome the overwhelming feeling that comes associated with the fact that we met, a lil over 3 years later, damaged, alive and willing to preserve our bond given just how drastically our lives have changed. You have welcomed the lil one in your life and I have found my copilot for life.. We have moved on but we found reasons to reconnect; can't thank God enough for this.
This is what I wrote in Jan 2015, which now seems eons away...
" Sometimes I really wish to secure sometime for me and you and talk my
heart out and tell you things the way they are with me. But there is
just so much history that I dont think we can get past to be there for
each other. And if someday we could, I'd tell you that I long for the
you I had fallen in love with, I miss my soulmate and more than which I
miss our conversations, those hugs that made me feel secure and the life
that was ours.
Life has changed, we have moved on but must we give up on the love that fueled our soul?"
I don't know how we did this, how did we convert your popping in and out of my life every few quarters to an almost believable more reliable once in a while correspondence? How did I manage to confide in you about the changes in my life? My struggles and shortcomings and you heard me out and was there. How did we manage to convert our telephone conversations to that one historic meeting? It is nothing short of a miracle for me and something I am tremendously grateful for, as it healed me and I probably found You anew in a way I know I will never lose You.
The past few days has been about rewinding events as they happened and I stopped short because this is exactly what I used to do before as if to memorize everything just the way it happened, lest I forget and it made me really sad. The fear of losing, of running out of time, of not being around You have damaged me in ways that I had not anticipated. That wave when you first spotted me, of the way you kept looking at my face as I spoke to you, more animated than my usual self trying to make you believe that I had not changed over time, to preserve what is remaining of what was just ours. But what mattered most to me was, when we left the cafe the other day I knew we had forged something which we will never shy of admitting, something that is more durable and more true.
To a new innings...